I don’t sleep.
No I’m not an insomniac,
But when I sleep I dream
And when I dream, I dream of you
And how you’re somewhere,
Dreaming of her
What you don’t understand,
Is I love you more than she ever will
And I find myself constantly comparing myself to her,
Asking myself,
Wishing I could ask you,
Why I’m not good enough.
The voice in my head tells me it’s because she’s
Prettier
Skinnier
Funnier
Smarter
Happier
Better
That I’m worthless
Ugly
Fat
Stupid
Depressed
A freak
That no one will ever love me,
But honestly,
Who could love a monster like me?
You’re the only one who can make me feel like nothing else matters
You make me happy,
And though it’s wrong,
You’re the drug that gets me through
Or so I thought.
Because sitting here crying,
Wishing I was dead,
You seem more like a poison killing me slowly
But I wish you wouldn’t be so selfish
Just **** me already
Or I could let the pills do their job and take away my pain forever
But I don’t regret not saying anything.
My mistake was thinking you actually liked me
Your mistake was falling for the wrong girl
But it’s okay
Because within minutes I’ll be gone
Into a sweet
Everlasting sleep.