Having
Everything bottled up inside
And
Remembering
The times it couldn't take anymore

She'll have heartaches
Because of  you
*& he'll never know

He gave her everything
& she didn't
Understand why
Then he left because
He knew she deserved better

He knew what she's been through
& he did the things
He said He wouldn't

                                          Even when he
                                                            ­                 Promised
                                                      ­                                                 **Not to

There's too much to say
In a short amount of time
And she loses her words
And too much to say
Ends up too few
Because she gets nervous
And the butterfly wings
Are fragile
And her heart
Feels so too

There's too much to say
In a short amount of time
And she loses her words
And too much to say
Ends up too few
Because she gets nervous
And the butterfly wings
Are fragile
And her heart
Feels so to

Open your mind
I want to see the  beauty
You always seem to talk about,
It fascinates every part of me
It wakes me
It shakes me
To think were different
**But somehow alike

They say the things
You do in the dark
Will eventually
Come to the light

But what happens
To the things
That doesn’t come to
The light?

Does it eat you
Inside knowing you have
Something hidden;
Maybe a dark secret
Or
Maybe something
Out of this world?
Do you think about it?
Do you wish you could
Just let it all out?

*Some things are better off hidden

you looked at me 
(I look away)
I looked at you
(You look away)
and in between there was
A smile that stained my face
for the longest time
leaving me to melt

The person wanting to die
Lives longer
                                                Than the one that
                                                Doesn't

   ­                                                                 ­                                       ?

About You
I can't believe your really gone
My heart is torn
It hurts way too much

I can't help but cry
I can't help but think about the times we had together
I can't help but write this down

**I'm going to miss you so much < 3

They come & go
Just Like People

I feel lost
But this time
Its different

I don't where I am
I don't know how I got here
I forgot what's this place is called
It looks familiar. . .
I know the name
Its on the top of my tongue
Let me think. . . .

I gather all my thoughts
& yet I can't put it
Together

I ask someone
"How do I get home?"
He only looked at me
And he vanished
by the second

I begin talking to myself
And suddenly
I start to hear my voice
Inside of my head

I'm I going insane?

I no longer can hear my voice
Only inside of my head
As
If I were muted

I began to scream

And I fell down to the ground
Because
My head hurt so bad
Then I realized that my scream
Makes me weak

After I got up
I heard something tell me that
When it starts to get dark
You'll start to feel
Something inside of you
Eat you alive

Right then the sun
Starting going down &
I started running

I began to feel it
Eating me alive
I began to scream.
And I fell down
I was weak

As I was on the ground
I heard somebody
laugh
I never heard such an
Evil laugh

I got up
And I kept running
And running

I felt something push me
On the ground
And I couldn't get up

I started to cry

I heard the evil
laugh again

Only seconds until
it gets FULLY DARK

And I picked myself up
As I started to run again

Something tripped me

And I start to feel weak
Again
Because I was screaming
My tears started to blind me

And

I began to feel someone
Touch me on my arm
But I couldn't see who it
was. . . .

That's when I


Woke up

If you ever thought you made me smile
You did
If you ever thought you made me laugh
You did
If you ever thought you made me feel good
You did

If you would've just think a few more seconds


Have you ever thought if you made me
Sad, cry, depressed
Because you also did

& you'll never know
**Because you never cared to ask

I look at the  Sky
I look at the  Moon
I look at the  Stars
And all I do is think about You
When your not with me
Wishing to kiss You
Under the Moon,
Look into your eyes
Until You look back into mine,
And wishing I could spend more time
With You
In the cold freezing night
Watching airplanes fly above
**Us

I'll wake up
&
I feel like
I'm still
Dreaming

The pen would  dance  across the paper
It would dance to  sad songs
And it  *bled out
Feelings

would you love me

                                       if I were sane;

A person can be  insane
And love you to bits

A person can (also) be  sane
And not love you at all

I  will dream with my eyes open when
N* ight comes
S eeing things I don't see when I do sleep
O ver analyzing the littlest things and
M aking up poems after poems
N ot mattering how late
I t is,
A nd I can't help but  *--write--

Letting you in
Once more would create this
Void, &
Everything you said I fell for,
Don't ever think I'm  weak  because I became  strong

So much  things we learn in the process of  
**Aging

I played her some songs I like;
She asked "why I like sad songs?"
I told her "because I like the lyrics"
Then she asked me if I'm sad
And I said "yes a little bit".
She said "why"
And that question made me
Even feel sadder.
I just told her "I don't know"
But in my head I knew
I just didn't want to tell her
I felt she was too young to know
Too young to know that
I got my heart broken
Into Pieces by this
Guy I thought really loved me
I still feel sad because
It hurts me a lot
And I live in this state where
He didn't do any of it.

That it's all a dream
And soon I'll wake up
And realize it isn't real
And in another world
I still feel that were together

I'm still stuck on Him
And I don't know what to do
I want to cry but no matter
How hard I try
Tears won't come out.
As if I ran out of tears
Or as if there's a wall holding it
All back.
I'm scarred

If I listen to happy songs will I be happy?
If, so please let my ears listen and
Fill my heart with happiness and good
With positive thoughts
And hoping to live another day without
Thinking about my broken heart
My thoughts scream and shout
Inside of my head
And I'm walking around
With a broken heart.
I was shocked
Yes. Because it hit me
With Irony
So I laughed a little bit
And cried some

I always had my doubts
I was just too ****
Stupid not to put it all together
Soon enough.
I seen and heard things
That made me think
Negative.
I assumed he was seeing or doing something else
With another girl
My gut was right
Something I Ignored
And I went along with my life
I should have trusted my gut
It was right all that time

He showed me all the right signs
And I was blinded
Because I wanted to be wrong
October 9 of this year
I wrote my true feeling down
I wrote how I really felt
And I couldn't tell him about it
Because I told him I'll never bring it
Up ever again

So I kept my word.
It was bottled up inside of me
I couldn't tell anyone
I didn't want them to judge me
I didn't want to hear negative
Things towards my feelings
I thought no one would ever understand me
I felt alone
I would cry and carry on
And cry some more
Until I just
Read it in his presence
And afterwards I
Spilled out everything.
All the things I had bottled up inside
Of me.
I spoke my mind that day.
And I felt closure.
Then Again I don't
Think closure is the right word

I was hurt
And tears were rolling down
My face and my tears
Were blinding me
And I took a napkin
And wiped them away

He never knew how I truly felt
Most of the time
But my words that day
I spilled out everything
That I had in my mind
He felt the same as I did
And
When I would cry in secret sometimes
I didn't want anyone else
To know I'm crying
Because I had so much bottled up
My heart would cry with me
When I'm sad.
And all those times I felt sad
He finally felt what I've felt

I just want to scream.
Let it all out. . .
Out what, you'll ask
& I'll say
This pain I carry on me
This burden
This thing I feel that lives
Inside of me.
It’s attacking me from the inside
Wanting to get out
Wanting to be free into
The Atmosphere
Where it would be free
Nothing less and nothing more
Just free

I felt times where I wanted to be free
From this sadness
Called depression
That he brought upon me

And now

I close my eyes, thinking
To myself
This is real and I have to except it
But I don't want to
And this is when I want to scream
Because I don't want to except it

I just don't
It's just so hard for me
I never thought this would happen to me
My heartaches. . .

So. . . . .

Play me some songs of happiness
Because I want to be happy.

Things will get better
I whispered to myself

& I still wait
Until
That day it will

But you see
You are missing everything
That passes you by
Because you won't stop
Thinking about that day
You wish would come

you keep thinking & thinking
About life getting better & wanting more

That you forget to
Look at the things you have already
& you have to remind yourself
Things are the best it could be
At the moment
Because there are those
Who have it worse

And the things you wait for
May not come
But you will receive other
Things that not everyone has

Things that you didn't wish for

Things that get you through
Without you realizing it

**& that's what everyone seems To forget

Late at night I'll watch the sky
& I wonder to myself

*How did I ever make it this far

Her tired mind aches for what she still struggles with
Everyday is silent chaos,
Silent because it’s all in her mind
Silent because it slithers and it destroys her internal
She lives her life running from everything
Trying to hide but no matter where she goes
Her mind knows her best
some days are filled with happiness
Yet she always wanted Joy

I loved everything about today
Because I was with  **You

We'll:
Kiss
Caress
Talk to
each other

You'll:
Hold me close

And
I'll just like you
More each time

         * .   .   .
We're just friends
Because that's what we both want
And part of me is okay with that

               * .     .
But what do I do when
I think about You
Throughout the day & night
But what do I do when
I get jealous

I know I shouldn't get jealous
Because your not mine
But .  .  .
never mind

                  * .
At the end of the day
I have to remind
Myself we're nothing
But  
*Friends

Yesterdays rain
Yesterday's kisses
The hold
The caress
The touch
The every feel of being with you
Elates me

☽

The dark blue opened sky
Just the way I pictured to see it
And You being with me
Made everything complete
Because you were next to me
And I got to tell you right then,
Looking up trying to find
Hidden gold stars *☆ ,
I spotted a few with you
☆ As we walked to the park at night ☆

The November weather is here
Making our hands cold
As we sat on a single bench
Under a big tree
Which gave us shade
Looking at all the leaves on the ground
Makes me smile for some reason
There's just so much of them

As you were getting closer to me
I saw a yellow leaf between Us,
And I put it under my wallet
So the wind won't
Sneak up and take it,
The leaf was the only thing
Keeping us apart
An unfinished puzzle piece
It was,  &
When we finally connected
It felt complete
I love being close to You

Kissing you with the music
You play
Is a good different &
Kissing you three minutes plus
Is always a nice feeling
It turned me on
When you ****** on my tongue
while my tongue was folded,
Every time I ****** on your tongue
It felt like I was taking a part of you

Our random talks
Makes me see life in a different way
Its interesting how people think
I find it very different

I love that I'm open with You
You hardly find people
You can be open to
Which *****
But I'm thankful
I have you to be open to

I look forward to more of our talks
I look forward to learn great things about You
I look forward to laughing with You

In between,
Thank you for being You,
With me,

Cooper :

     **♥

Let’s run away together
Just you and me.
Leave everything behind
We’ll start something new.
Don’t be scared,
Just trust me
And I’ll show you the world.

I've never stop loving you
Every day that goes by
All I do is think about
Your imperfections
Because that’s the thing
I love most about you.

Take my hand
& Come with me and you’ll see
The change in you and me

Close your eyes and imagine
A place where you
Wish to be
And I’ll take you there
. . .
Let’s run away together
And travel the world
. .
Its okay to feel
Scared

&
Its okay if you say no
My feelings for you won’t
Change

So lets just take it slow

At the end
It’s all up to you

Listen,
Don't  let it eat you
Your stronger than that voice inside
Let it slowly die
It's time you begin to really live


                                                         ­                            ♥

Learning as the days go by,
Finding the things that fit us best
& letting go  **of what starts
To rot within

Listen
I 've heard
E nough
S o please, say nothing

Life has four different seasons
And my favorite is Autumn
Because I love the leaves turn different colors.
I love when the leaves run across the street
while the wind screams.
Life has a meaning some don't understand
And people try to find its meaning.
Life is a beautiful thing and I see that when
Autumn comes along.
The cool breeze,
Gets to the little hairs on your arm
While you wearing a sweater
And your teeth start to clap
As you exhale you see your fog in front of your eyes.
You see. . .
Life is beautiful and I found beauty
That it brings to the world
And as Spring comes along
I smile because daffodils & roses
Start to grow with all the other flowers
And I smile because there are so beautiful
You see. . .
Life is Beautiful.
Just look at the positive things
And you'll see.

Build you everyday
Most battles are inside your head
Don’t let your mind confine you
Defeat your demons
When you feeling weak
That’s when you are your strongest
Pain is temporary
Every scar
For every story of its own
Losing some
To gaining plenty
Trust your intuition
Remember that
You were made to win
You were made to conquer

Feel my heart beat skips beats
Touch my mind gently
******* words I choose wisely
See my tears as they slither slow yet run quick
Hear them hit hard like missiles

If I would to tell you a secret would you keep it
I choose my words as if my life depended on it

Choose wisely  permanent words


You ain’t alone
That voice inside your head

Leaving me with so much on my mind
I can't believe I roared the loudest in silent times and as time goes
On I realized I would have
Never been strong without loving myself first

I
Make
Lists
Of
Things
&
I
Lose
Myself
Within

I
Capture
The
Smallest
Things
In
Life

We risk our hearts to love
And to love again,
Some are scared
But they risk it anyways
Hoping there will
Be something beautiful
In the end

People will be:
scarred
broken
sensitive
depressed
hurt
in pain

And still want to
Love again


Because the Spark
Is no longer there

Trying to create
Something more than a Spark
Something more memorable
Than the last
   *                   *                   *
I want something that Sparks
And never loses its fire,
Never dulls
But becomes more  Vast

Within the days that pass
Knowing I've found You

The images were made to stand out
The poetry was made to be read aloud
The wine was to be sipped on, slowly
and You my dear, you were to listen
to the details of everything said
everything painted
because you were the reason for her
madness bliss

within the pages
There the art hung
There the words were placed so beautifully
The ideas were &BYOND;
The gaze into your eyes mattered the most
The connection within the words and images
Were by nature
Where it mostly started
The reason why I kept going
because the madness bliss.

The Madness bliss . . .
—It was Everything!—

Make m e  beli ev e
I'm b e a u t i f u l beca use I b elie ve I' m n o t
Regretting you g et in side my h e a d wit h eve rythi ng you e v er sa id
Regretting the th ings I di d to cha nge m yself
Ove rt hin kin g; A nd
Reme m ber ing eve ryt hing I we nt th rou gh

NOT SURE IF I WANT TO  RUN FAST
SOMETIMES I FIND MYSELF
LOOKING BACK IN THE PAST
BUT I CAN’T STAY HERE ANY LONGER 
THIS PLACE IS NO PLACE FOR ME
I SWEAR I’M BUILT DIFFERENT
I SWEAR I’M NOT LIKE THESE OTHER *******
NO CLOTH HERE BUT YOU FEEL THE
TENSION
THIS THAT SHEIT THAT GET YOU 
TO THE FIFTH DIMENSION
ITS THAT GET YOUR MIND RIGHT
THIS THAT HAVE YOUR MIND TRIPPIN
FOREVER MISSING
THIS THAT GET YOU HIGH
FEELING REALLY LIFTED
THIS THAT FEELING EVERYTHING
ALL AT ONCE TYPE FEELING
I COULD TELL BY YOUR EYES
YOU NEED HEALING
I COULD TELL BY YOUR MIND
EVERYTHING FOR YOU IS MISLEADING
TRYING TO PIECE
PIECES ON TOP OF PIECES WHILE MIND SPEEDING
MIND ALWAYS RACING
ONE THING TO KEEP IN MIND IS TO
ALWAYS HAVE PATIENCE
YOU COULDN’T GAIN WASTED TIME
IF YOU WANTED TO
THERE’S JUST CERTAIN SHEIT
WE GOT TO GO THROUGH
FOR THE BETTER VIEW
THE BETTER ANGLE
WHERE YOUR MIND AT 
ITS NOTHING YOU CAN’T HANDLE
THIS THAT WE MAKE THE BEST
FROM WHAT WE GOT
IT MIGHT NOT BE A LOT TO YOU
BUT I’M HIGHLY THANKFUL
THIS THAT
HOLD ON
THIS THAT AND THE THIRD
WE REALLY DIFFERENT
NOT SURE IF YOU COULD TELL
THE DIFFERENCE 
HOW COULD YOU BE LIVING
IF YOU NOT RIGHT WITH YOURSELF
TIME TO GET RIGHT WITH YOURSELF
TIME TO LET GO OF ANYTHING THAT
IS HOLDING YOU BACK
MIND GOING THROUGH BRUTAL ATTACKS
HOLD ON
THIS THAT NATURAL SHEIT
THIS THAT
YOU WATER ME 
I WATER YOU
TYPE SHEIT
THIS THAT
WE AIN’T DONE YET
THIS THAT WE FORGIVE 
BUT NEVER FORGET
**** ITS THAT HARD
**** WE GOT TO GO THAT HARD
WE ON A MISSION
I SEE THE POTENTIAL
I SEE AMBITION
SCULPTING MYSELF ONLY TIME WILL TELL
THIS IS THE BEGINNING
LET THAT SINK IN
I SWEAR EVERYDAY IS SOMETHING DIFFERENT
THERE’S NO PLACE HERE
FOR IGNORANCE
SOME GRASP SO MUCH
YET NOTHING
SOME COULD BE SO DISGUSTING
CHOOSE WISELY
LET THEM TALK SPICY
DON’T LET THEM GET TO YOU
THIS THAT INNER PEACE
ALWAYS LEAVE WITH SOMETHING
THEY NOT USED TO
FOCUS YOUR ENERGY ON WHAT MATTERS
NO DEGREE BUT THEY GOT THEIR MASTERS
SHEIT ALL SEE THROUGH
NOTHING NEW
THEY WITH YOU WHEN YOU UP
NEVER SEEN SO MUCH MAKEUP
THIS THAT SAME RACE
LEARN TO HAVE PATIENCE
SOMETIMES IT MAY CAUSE FRUSTRATION
FEEL LIKE YOUR TIME STAY WASTING
ITS THAT FOCUS ON THE DESTINATION
GO YOUR OWN SPEED
GO YOUR OWN PACE
THIS THAT SAME RACE
DON’T BE IMPATIENT
THIS THAT CHOOSING ME FIRST THIS TIME
THIS TIME ROUND
WE DIGGING DEEP STARTING FROM
THE UNDERGROUND 
ITS THAT WE TAKING OUR TIME 
THIS THAT YOU FIND YOURSELF
THIS THAT GREAT FEELING
ITS THAT ZEN

I NO LONGER STRESS ANYTHING 
MY HAPPINESS AND PEACE OF MIND
OVER EVERYTHING
NOTHING LIKE A WILD
LIFE
NO RARA
JUST PEACE
LET GO
RELEASE
LET GO AND SEEK
ALL THINGS EVEN WHEN YOUR MIND IS WEAK
THIS IS A FOREVER THING
YOU GOING TO FEEL EVERYTHING
THIS IS A PROCESS OF SELF HEALING
CONNECT WITH YOUR INNER FEELINGS
REFLECT ON IT
EVERY BIT
EVERY OUNCE
ALL OF IT COUNTS
EVEN WHEN YOU DON'T THINK IT DON'T
YOU GOT TO BE REAL WITH YOURSELF
LET IT BE WELL KNOWN
YOU HAVE TO WANT IT FOR YOURSELF FIRST
SHEIT COULD BE A LOT WORSE
DON'T LET YOUR MIND CONFINE YOU
DON'T LET THAT SHEIT EAT YOU

I either become Strong
Or I let it **** me

I sometimes wonder
If the person I love
Will leave without
Leaving a mark

That's when  the silence
Would ring in my ear the loudest,
Making my heart the heaviest
It could ever be

Having a lot of questions that only
He could answer
Having tears that run down your
Face while your in shock
That emptiness that fills your  heart
& mind
In such a way it makes you  weak
Weak  in a way that destroys
The person you was with
**Him

Has yet to  Bloom
*& I'm waiting for the day
I can run through so much
Flowers in the middle of
May
Or
June

My heart continues to beat for the  seconds,
With all the  scars  it has
It continues to  love  
Because that's all it knows


                      ♥