i'm not sorry
that i wanted sleep
more than your ****.

you were the shot of adrenaline
that drenched my veins with coursing fire
i couldn't eat and sleep
i guess my body couldn't handle the high gained from the thoughts of you

now you aren't there
and i'm crashing hard and fast
the alternatives aren't working
and i can't stop thinking thinking thinking
wondering why you told such addicting lies

you heightened my anxiety
in an oddly pleasurable (and perhaps masochistic) way
now i'm suffering from the pangs of withdrawal
without closure i'm left craving more
depression has seemed to be the only consistent company i've had
no thanks to you

and i ******* hate how i still love the sound of your name

when did i become
a ticking time bomb
ready to expload
at any given time
how did anxiety
make me this fragile
im scared
                    one day
im going to not be able
to put back together
after an explosian.               (s.q)

I've never shaken with fury before.