At what point does something become unforgivable?
Is it the moment when all hope is lost?
When you strip the comfort of forever from an innocent mind?
When u fall so hard you shatter the ground those around u are standing on,
When you take the last breath of love from your lovers chest,
When you steal the beating heart from a sacred and beautiful bond,
When you fraternize with the enemy of your beloved for reasons unknown to all involved,
Is it when you reach your hand into the bowl of trust and leave nothing but ***** fingerprints?
Where is there to go when you’ve built walls of slippery vines
surrounding you,
suffocating you.
Who do you ask for help without bringing them down with you?
Misery loves company but no one loves misery.

I know it's too late,
But let me say one thing
Im sad you're moving in with her.
You know I still dream about that sometimes
I wake up confused
Wondering why it wasn't true
trying to figure out why it didn't work
The inevitable and unavoidable truth
is that it was all my fault.

I know I waited too long
but I swear I could love you now
Im ready to be scared of the love, the feeling of your love
Im ready for the most dangerous and yet safest fall
Im better now, I promise
I think.

I know I lost my chance
but if you just gave me one more
I would worship you the right way
every part of you that tried to save me
so long ago.
I want to have all of you
But I shouldn't keep holding on.
I should let go.

But how could I if I don't just at least let you know,
Im sad you're moving in with her.
You were supposed to be mine
and I was supposed to be yours
You were supposed to sing to me and I would write about you
It was supposed to be us

I was at the doctor yesterday and they weighed me
nothing unordinary obviously
but seeing i was just a few pounds less than i thought i would be
brought some sort of strange flutter to my stomach that sat there
for the next few minutes
distracting from the fact
that i was at the doctor

Maybe in the next life I'll be the musician.
You'll be me and I'll break my own heart over and over again.
Or you'll break mine.
Or I'll break yours.
You can have my words and all my thoughts
Hold them as your own,
I'll be soft and gentle with you
Just as kind as the sweet songs you'll hum
into my mind.
You'll feel lost and push me away just to save yourself rom the fear of
being alone.
You'll hide away for days just waiting
to be found and I will find you.
I'll keep finding you
over and over again.
I'll save you from whatever strange idea has most recently creeped into
your constantly turning mind.
Ill save you only to give you your strength to run and hide again.
We will play a vicious cycle,
continuously returning to our inevitable goodbye.
With each coming of the cyclical beginning of our end,
we vow to pull at each others hearts a little more tightly
than the last time.

Im not picking at my scabs anymore.
They were right there always in sight.
Seeing the blood well up into that single drop was always somewhat
satisfying.
Watching my body react
But then I was always left with more time
More time waiting for it to heal
Its time.
Its time I let it heal now.
For good.
The scar will always be there, but no longer there to be reopened
It will never be able to bleed again.
So I don't think Im going to call you anymore.
Im not picking at my scabs anymore.

I wanna throw up all the feelings you just shoved down my throat.
All the guilt and confusion.
The loneliness and lost time.
I'm gagging on the pain and all of those hateful thoughts.
They're filling me up and making me sick.
The thought that you're done with me is slowly seeping into my bloodstream and slowing my heart. It's beating so softly trying to push through your crushing grip around my neck.
The cold words dripping from your mouth are turning me pale and all I need is your warm body to wake me from this nightmare you have so perfectly orchestrated right in front of my tear blurred eyes but that soft morning will never come because you have left and you are gone and I am here still watching the limbs of my body begin to finally realize that they are never again to be touched by yours in that familiar and loving way

So I will sleep with every intention of finding you tonight somewhere in my memories and wishing only to find you here in my bed when tomorrow comes.

I just wanna listen to you inhale for a moment and exhale the next
I just want a little time to remind you why I'm here with you and just what you did that caught my eye on that funny little day way back last October  
I could do with some quick glances your way while you're not looking as to catch you in those moments you let your true feelings show, when you think no one is watching.
I just want a few chances to brush my hand along yours in a crowded room of people we sort of know
If only, if only to give a quick reminder of the familiarity that is still there.
I want your tshirt smell to be my calm down after a stressful drive home from work and I want to share spaghetti with red sauce and cheap wine
Kiss my neck and be my friend and hold me close because I need you so much more than I would ever show because the fact that I just wanna hear you inhale for a moment and exhale the next scares me into a million tiny pieces of worries
But here I am wishing for another day in October to see if I could really be yours in the way I wished to be for so long