In the spring of
2018
When
Freedom took the butterflies and tried to extinct them from my world

Took their wings and split them into inharmonious melodies
Inside of hidden sapphire
gemstone
rings


Through the Holy Sparkle of these promises gliding onto spirit paper.
Linoleum marble

Glass mirrors
refracted



The Majestic creates
The manifested
Lady
Shift
Power
Unfolding silk curtains
sheets
Glowing
In the rippling
fields of magnetic supreme
Dipping in and out
of the dabbling
Serine

A screen that presents itself through transmission televised
Masks both pleasure and pain

Did you ever think “what does the unseen mean”? Did you ever think about its capacity to heal the unrelenting wounds of days gone by and give way to newness?

The movement towards your cause and Shift?
Such is in the live vision of an idealistic pursuit to be loved that measures up to how we wish we could be in our able bodies
But not all express their will
Like eucalyptus trees growing behind a fourth wall
Whispering to one another in vein

Show me how others see me.


We are made in the image of stardust
An ethereality
of a naively romantic quality
Made for God's knowing


Do you ever think about if the sun and the sunset ever met?

The power is not in the oppressor
It is in the light of your own inner wisdom
The current drawn from your internal knowledge
Electrified in your personal power to change

These poems share in the experience of not feeling strong mentally and emotionally and even physically because there is pressure to act or appear more human.
Whether is be felt pressures from our family, peers, colleagues, or society at large we are all facing and fearing what we cannot explain or control. These are the challenges of life, but they are okay, they are precisely what makes us strong and capable of healing our emotions, our bodies, and our past wounds, however they may appear on the outside.  
I hope it provides some guidance as to how to overcome these challenges when the dynamics and the circumstances of life feel  like a burden or when other humans  misunderstand or feel misunderstood by us too.
To cancel out this void, it is within our mental control and our will to choose listening over ignorance, to preserve safety over self ridicule, to find inner strength to make tough decisions when we need to; cultivating empathetic compassion towards the ambition that is to become our most promising forms of personal and social resilience in all of our relationships.

Citrus and pine wipe
the slate
The scenery finds me
Living in the screen of space
Precision

Love is lasting
There is little meaning
of relationship in Hollywood

Give me an infusion
Lessons to get out of the way
creates… protection


Ideal
Perfection  
Lights ignited
Deserving and choosing

What is raw, what is true?
Feeling many things at the same time

Love as concept
Manifests in ways that change

Our lives
We aren't expecting
Precision
There are things happening all at once
That is perfection

Aligning like shapes in the universe
Perfectly matched to the other
The reason behind every natural being
Why are they shaped the way they are
Angles in perfection
I love how they get there

Even if things don't always go as planned
You are who you are and I am who I am
We are here

Mounting to the projection
what we need to be
To do more or less of
What might that be?

They happen for a reason
This is perfection
On the journey
Patience
a different kind
This is perfection

Challenges
See what your feeling from your perspective
Pointing things out vs telling me how
To tell
My own story-
Recognizing who I am in this moment
Something you cannot make up for

I take myself out of this concrete reality

I look at people as observations of being

Feeling connected to who we are without performing

Perfection is in the imperfect
Words jumble meanings

Words don't cut the surface
of what I am
Choosing as Expression

This is the beauty
This is the ripening
This is universal

You don't have to know me
To write a word

Or feel me
out there

Feels like I'm in space

Feeling you walk next to me
Diagonally
on cross streets

And not see me

Seeing you discard the moment you clicked

My picture
Remains

In a mirage of meringue and memories
Stuck inside my brain
This hurts

Please Forget

Me

Please…

Do not favor only the word
Is that all you have?
Is reality as bleak from the inside out?
Tell me.

You make it seem so far away
Disjointed like limbs miscounting their branches disconnected from their hippocampus

Your prefrontal cortex
Jagged
For the Jugular

I'll have you know…

I can cough up whispers
Tingling twisted

Circles around my
Shortened breaths

Wrapped in all I know

Still I would never see your paintings on the wall

Still You could never see your paintings on the wall

Climbing
False poetry and lines
Unraveling the recital of a lifetime


Go AWAY WHY DON'T YOU

Stop writing.

Leave me to reflect amongst the truths that refuse to let me go

That continue to let me know how much stronger

I can be

How much I am without your weight
Your manipulations on high
Swirling like puppetry
upon my shoulders

Knees abound by once your word

I once read you Khalil Gibran
I remember that.  

The Prophet is my life.
And I love him.

I can only imagine someone like him
to fawn on
and vice versa
Oh, how the times have changed...

To make a Lover's call


For it is clear as the Praise on my

Softened pillow

Dried tears

I am not calling

I am Becoming

Loving
Being
Fully Me in Furnished Uplifting

Unpeeling in the Layers of immaculate forms

Smiling into sunset waters

Majestically
At peace
With Me

I am home.

Our bodies are not blank figures:

We are a composite of creation
made of invisible form

A container of thought
In body: a jar of human spirit

Taking down the mask each day:

I invite you into my stories of transformation:  

With heart, a wild spirit, and creative being-ness
🦋

I used to work so hard at love

I’d say things I didn’t want to say
but for some reason
It felt right
I’d look at a man  
And expect him to look back
In my way

I would walk on coals
He tried to make a mad woman out of me
Just so I could take it

Be strong
Stop being so maladaptive I’d say

I was exhausting my truth into something less than
meaning itself
This other version of desperation
A high I could not refuse
But secretly detested  

I was amused
I was excused

I made my fortune and now it’s churning
Like the meltdown of a butter stick emerging out of its cache
The cacophony of life enraptured in its cocoon

Feeling through the infield
unfiltered rays
A new way has come to me

Forever growing
Metamorphosed
in gratitude

Those ravenous pupils
Eyes like scones looking through
a night of soft porcelain
On the moon
Did you use today?

Eyes glazed astray
After looking at me for so long
Hard and tender

I remember the crystal stars in you shine
within that fermenting distant heart of yours

Feeling their misunderstanding intertwined
so defined; yet hidden from me still  

Bright lights under the cleavage of Paradise
grinning at the idea of one day
sober
changing our lives
forever

The anxiety of the unexplained
Is like an impoverished state
A mental ache
Caged alone
Sidestepping the back of an alleyway
pummeled in
cobwebs
Squeamishly awaiting the sentencing of a scarcity filled critter approaching its death

The existence of him; an individual
And myself
I thought I knew what I felt at the time
The excitement in my chest
at the very thought of speaking to him aloud
Even in my thoughts
In my dreams
The relationship between them
has been severed by it

As though it had been abandoned
By the riverbed
of endless possibilities
met with the banks of effortlessness neglect to which nothing happens in the end

I kept
waiting for more to flood my insides
in due time


It was not my energy alone
that was responsible for this repeated
Cycle
We were unprotected and unrenewed: despite him always speaking of protection
it was manipulation before any sort of new,
A blinded experience
That I did not choose to see

Only a man who is ready for everything, who excludes nothing, will live the best of relation
to another as something that can grow and remain alive

I willed myself to exhaustion

This existence of fear
as a large or small window depending on the day, I only knew pieces of that room, he showed me a heart contained by secrecy

Placed by a locked door
a slipshod floor on which he walked
up and down the steps of my attempted understanding

He had his own fatal security
And a dangerous
insecurity that created a madwoman out of me

I felt out the shape and the textures of his cornering
A room set up to be a closet without light
He said he is a prophet
Like God
But all he created was himself as a stranger

To me and whoever knew him

I did not want to be a prisoner.
But I felt trapped
Nothing could worry me
I kept going with it

I had no reason to
mistrust that world for it wasn’t against me.

YetI was alone and the dangers did I try to love

It seemed to me the most alien
But I wanted to trust him without faith.
How can that be? It was not in faith that I believed.

Perhaps all the wolves of our lives are cloaked
in false princes clothing
waiting to see us
even for a single moment
beautiful and brave

And they don’t even know why

“Perhaps everything terrible is in its deepest being something helpless that wants help from us.”

Everybody tells me to forget
But when I hear the song in your voice
I just can't get away from you
The feeling begins anew
That's how it was when we first met

Lovin' your skin was more important
Felt the tip of your tongue
When you had me all wrong
Even in your death
I've got life in my palm
But I just can’t get away from all these memories  

Every time I close my eyes
I wake up in a Paradise
Wishing someone else was here tonight
To push my desires
And carve out my dreams
To match the life  
I've been waiting for

There is no medicine for this kind of treatment  
Your face is one big memory
Your brain is like a eulogy split
into
All the things you've done
And it won't leave my mind

Your ghost is haunting me
But now it’s telling me that all we had
is dead

I wish for everything
To go insane
So I can rest my brain
Stay in bed
What you made me do
Was too much for you

I was too good to you
But it's not over yet

As this dream scene makes me
see all the things you've done
Once haunted by your darkened melody
All over again


I'm not here to stay in your waking mess
Not mesmerized by your burning soul
Your eyes so cold and alone
Even when I get to heaven
I know

Gratitude defines the truth
in My soul

I got out of that void a long time ago
Now waiting on the other side

Maybe one day I'll find him
People ask me how you live on
I tell em when you find true love
It lives within your blood
It lives it does not move on

Everytime I close my eyes
I wake up in a Paradise
Wishing someone else was here tonight
To help my desires come to life  
I've waited for so long

And all I can do
Is be true
Knowing you once made me feel
Alive

My heart has mended the wall  
And I won't stay to try to convince it to feel something else
That is inauthentic

As this dream scene makes me
See all the things you've done
Once haunted by your darkened melody
All over again
My standards have become all the more honest  
And I just can't wait to get away tonight

Oh Pomegranate
please slice me into parts
without your
large  
blood dripping seeds
leave me to stay
dry on my skin
Give me the roles you’d never play

Your shape bends with gratitude
rolling toppling fluidity
staining my lips as
my teeth
smile lovingly
returning the call..

Holding the pinnacle
of your embrace

Your vulnerability
stays the same
you are the only thing
that can look at me
face to face
Subjugate your art and call it
A moral compass
tasting the fruit of its efforts

The stillness of your body
Overcomes the anxiety  
the kind of
one eye awakening
you find
when your head
leans back on the board
A sublime reminder of
My past with
Worth

The stem of your flowering core coterie was chosen
Cut
For rebirth
To re distinguish my soul
To enlighten my wholeness
with your awaited existence

It left me growing
On an open tree
Waiting to be picked

A powerful  
open light leading
to my highest self

A vision like yourself
Cut open and alive
Blood flowing
Block the mind

Where there was once division there is none
that could be present

I am strong
In the space delivered alive
The devouring of sweet certainties  
of what is seen in my new world

Created between me and thine:
The nature of the experience
Rising in relationship

I'm careful with courage

I swear to my ceremony

Protect my mind


Whispers in my ear

Don't hurt me

Awakening

To the dream

I ask:


After you Dismiss me
Freeze me
Please

Bring me back to groundedness

———————————————————

Sit me back down on the chair with my

purse dangling

off its arch with red lipstick buried

in between my golden coins

I made a promise to my ancestors

To past achievers who didn’t survive:

The loss that came to me in baskets

Of highlighted

Mystery

I navigated

through

The loneliness that took my life

twisted into breaths of deeply rooted truths  
———————————————————

Chew on this. Wake up!

Look to the mirror of your

distorted views

You’ll see

how

to surpass the flames of insecurity

and shame


Everything I’ve ever wanted

has come to an equilibrium


Nothing more to do

In my eye lives a perfect wish

An improved soul

That we both get to choose:

Take me to the greatest future of my existence.

That sinking feeling

Maintains itself with confidence maintained

If you only accept love with respect

You’ll absorb your value

Now feel it. Take it in.

As it exits your body


I am grateful; I am a powerful thinker


That feeling will pass when it clings too tightly

Unite that power with moral responsibility

In the vessel of your chest

Now breathe.