2/18/2018
Therapeutic hypothermia
The cold preserves my soul
A still expands the night
Suspended in half-animated state
The still demands the constellations
Slow and introspect
Reflect on now, the lull
Orien runs the bull
The seven sisters, never saints
****** the men they adore

The weight of day fades away
And still I stand, absorbed 
Neck craned heavenward
Mind full dark and starlight poured
Heart bellowing apace
Time is brain, time is mind
In this case, turtle conquers hare
Intentional at this metabolic rate
Still they dance and chase around the axis
Turtle cheating time and space
By slowing down the mortal race
Orien minds the bull
The seven sisters narrate
Still I stand, chill permeates and I find desire relaxes

I saw a heart with a scar
The scar was white
I saw a heart stop
The heat from the lights slicked the gloves to my skin
I saw an old man reconfigure a body
While making jokes about women’s bodies
The knowing glances passed between women behind backs, over masks
These old farts think they have this world under wrap
This dinosaur may come to find
His time is up
His time is past
I am the meteor 
Lighting up the summer night
You may depart with a bang or a whimper
The boys club is gone
Cigars are out of fashion
There’s only so far your generation’s hearts can last and when at last with scars, they stop
Then I joke in the OR about silly men, while I fix your broken heart

Oh glorious you
With eyes that speak and tongue that listens
With heart that takes note
With breath that catches
With gut that is wise and circumspect
With intentions that come from the deepest place of respect
With skin that burns and seeks to be touched in return
With feet that catch pavement and swiftly kick ***
With an *** like that
With a soul never to be silenced
With rice and wine and herbs and salt of the earth
With powerfully vulnerable self-aware
Tsunami and koi pond share a space in your being
With tea ceremony, taekwondo and a powerful girl with the face of a man you once knew
Aura of violet, red and green
And every experience in between
Each rib and knuckle
With all of your growth and all you know
The way your body moves through space
Intentional, each fiber strives for the language of interconnection
That divine word you spell without realizing
And upon being spoken, slips away
Never to be taken for granted, cliche or token
That ephemeral piece which science has yet to describe
That peace you eternally seek 
That wisdom, if anybody, oh glorious you will find

I choose to displease you
So this garden can bear fruit

The fox is sweet
But not to me
He wants to eat my chickens whole
The fowl are fools
Too fat to fly
Blood and feathers in the coop

Now your request is nothing less than foxes in my hen-house
I can see there’s things you need, but it will never come from me now

This barbed wire may seem dire
Desparare times, desparate measures
The foolish fowl make choices now only on which seed to peck
The coop now guarded night and day, a count is made, the locks are checked
Though these hens desire the freedom to roam as they please
It has been decided
The hens will be supervised
The fox will be reminded
If we find another chicken dies
We reinforce, remove the threat, create a safer boundary line

The moment you think the pain is gone
You realize it just keeps keeping on
That bone-deep gnawing that you did wrong
The longing for something lost
Something old
Haunting something new
Life is borrowed, brief
Not a moment to lose
So why is it so hard to know what's right to do?

You hurt
You were abandoned
And you abandoned too
You hurt a child you love and knew

Ghosts that still walk
Calling to you