there are so many things I can't explain
     like the way you left me all alone
     or the way you squint when you laugh
     or why you insisted I was pretty
     only to run off with some other girl
there are many things I don't understand
     the way your eyes sparkle when you talk about you little sister
     the way you made me smile when I felt like I was dead
     the way you held my hand even when I was too sick to speak
     and how you kissed me on my forehead
that's how I knew you really loved me
     you listened to me rant about nonsense
     you held me for hours while I cried
     you tickled away my worries
     you sang away my heart ache
there are so many things I just don't get about you and I
     why did you leave
     why did you lie
     why wasn't I enough
     why baby why

for as long as I can recall
sounds have been around and a part of me
sounds of the television
sounds of my siblings
of my parents
of music

so much sound around me
that I´ve neglected to listen
to the ones who echo in my head

when they come it´s late at night
when I lay down at the end of the day
they keep me from slumber
with their thundering vengeance
demanding to be heard

for when do I have the time to hear them?
when is it ever silent enough for them to speak to me?
can I really blame my surroundings?
or should I blame myself for not daring to listen?
am I too scared
for what they might say?

for they might confront me
with all my mistakes
and all of my wrongdoings
with wasted potentials
and uncertain futures

even more frightening;
whom is it that speaks?
is it God?
is it the Devil?
is it me?