Lilly,
my boy you hurt me.
but it must be
because I watered you with poison.

Through the hells, I burn.
But, through ashes I rise.
& through the flames I spread up
towards the skies.

And l want to drink all that his eyes has to offer,
a passage into his inner soul,
which is equally as beautiful.

It spreads softly, ever so gently, slowly.
It creeps, it slips, the pain in my heart.

Everyday I wake up and I die.
Everyday I pretend I don’t know what’s going on.
Everyday I push out the bad memories
Everyday, until I cry myself to sleep.

My soulmate.
Did you not say you were mine?
Was not your soul bound to mine with a chain and a red string?
If your heart has gone to another then go to her fully.
Don’t keep me chained to your side because you know I can’t leave you.
Because if this continues, I WILL leave you.

If I leave.
Just know that I loved and will always love you.
If I leave
Just know that it was the hardest thing I had to do in my entire life.
If I leave
Just know that I am dead.
If I leave
Just know that I am killing the sweetest memories of my entire life with it.
If I leave
Just know that I didn’t want to but had to.
If I leave
Just know that I hope you come and get me.
If I leave
Just know that I wish you all the best in life.
If I leave
Just know that I give you permission to go to her.
If I leave
Just know that you will never see or hear from me again.
Ever.
If I leave
Just know that I am dead to you as you are dead to me.
If I leave
Just know that I ******* loved you and couldn’t save you.
I couldn’t treasure you enough.