Sometimes everything clicks –
Just a glimpse and I know it’ll be gone.

In the midst of the chaos and confusion,
the sun set on the “almosts”
and led to this golden dawn.

There you were,
unassumingly + perfectly placed in my world;
waiting for me.

I don’t remember how it started, or how exactly I was led to you,
But you make sense.
In the middle of it all –
Fire alarms, crowds of people,
You found me.  
There are only flashes of everything else --  
Brown eyes, your shirt, the color green, drunken conversations about Parks and Rec,
a piece of gum, the way you looked back at me when you got in the car…
a sureness that I’d see you again.

Here we are in this golden hour.
I know this epiphany won’t last forever --
I'll hold it close while it does.

You overwhelm me with this feeling
that everything is falling into place.
Even if it’s all gone by sunset,
I’m glad it all led to you --
right now.

(a.g.)

I want to believe the best in you,
But I can’t bring myself to do it.

Every time I get close,
Every time I give into that cautious optimism --
convincing myself to inch closer and closer to the ledge --
I’m left alone, wondering why I wasn’t enough, or if I did something wrong;
Clawing to get back to something that was never even there.

But you seem so good.
I’m stuck in your kind eyes
+ the lightness of your laugh
+ the way you hold me close and run your fingers through my hair.
Your smell is still on my clothes,
and I can’t stop smiling.
You seem gentle,
And kind and smart and brave.
You seem like exactly what I’m looking for…

But, they always do.
They always say what I want to hear,
And they all feel like home,
For a little while,
Until it isn’t enough anymore...
And it’s like nothing ever happened.

Oh God, I hope this is different.
I hope you’re different.

(a.g.)

I never thought you noticed me
like I noticed you;
stealing glances, praying I'd catch your blue eyes.

But here you are,
right in front of me --
It's you
+ your eyes
and the way they make me feel lighter when they look into mine.
+ your hands
and the way they they hold mine like they've never been unattached,
and how they make me feel like I finally found the home I've tirelessly searched for.
+ your words
even though I know they're old and worn, and given to every one before me,
I know I could fall in love with them anyway.

The possibility of you is enough.

(a.g.)

here I am
begging you to want me.

I hold the sand so tightly,
but no matter how great my efforts,
or how tight my grip,
every grain eventually falls --
leaving me.

it's easy for the sand to leave my hands;
it knows no other way.

but, here I am anyway,
begging someone to stay.

(a.g.)

maybe it was just the idea of you;
but you were an epiphany.

you woke me up
and showed me everything I had settled living without.

like a mirror held to the sun,
I gleamed with a seemingly new light --
you never knew my darkness.

you taught lessons in high expectations
and you seemed to be well versed in my deepest hopes.

you're realization was my awakening;
but,
all along it was just the idea of you.

a.g.

Was it you?
Or was it everything else?

(a.g.)

You are love,
You *were love...

At least, you are what I wanted love to be.

You were a hope that filled me to the brim --
leaving every moment an intoxicating
"what if".

But, I don't think you're love anymore,
at least, not what I want love to be.
If you were,
I would have been worth it.
If you were love,

You would have stayed.

(a.g.)