10
What’s ten more?
Ten more tattoos is a job application gone wrong
Ten more is 9 to many cuts to cover up
Ten more is a another decimal place on the scale
Grocery store cashier “Ten more”
1 is 0’s best friend
So what’s one more?
One more again and again
Will soon add up to 10
And we’re right back where we started
So what’s ten more?
Ten more times that you will let him hurt you
Ten more is a changed paycheck
Ten more days is a week and a half to get your **** together and move on

You were beside me and I saw your phone,
Scrolling, I realized it was not just me,
There was someone else, we were not alone,

I thought I knew you, but you're not well known,
You covering your face, you wanting to flee,
You were beside me and I saw your phone,

Your voice changing in a scared, afraid tone,
My heart broke and now I'm an amputee,
There was someone else, we were not alone,

In my mouth your words felt like acetone,
And you kept asking “do you believe me?”
You were beside me and I saw your phone,

Reflecting over how much we have grown,
Together, bad start to a family tree,
There was someone else, we were not alone,

We are both living in a toxic home,
Now screaming at you “just let me be!”
You were beside me and I saw your phone,
There was someone else, we were not alone…

Music is my life,
Soul,
and my savior...

She has emotions she doesn't know how to express
In a crowd she stands out among the rest
Her presence is a gift
Her smile and laugh is one of a kind
and that's really hard to find
But she's scared and alone in a world she can't call her own
Her friends think they understand her but they don't
She's a mystery box 24/7
How many times does she really think about hell or heaven
She has perfect imperfections
a beautiful complexion
But is self conscious to those who show her affection
She has so many thoughts that are unthinkable
Mirrors and cameras make her hide
It's gonna be a long ride
But we all hold on tight
Because we all know that's right
And as she sits there in the middle of the night
She fights
She's a warrior and she has no clue
But the amount of stuff she's been through-
She's a fighter and much stronger then we all think
But when she comes around everything seems to be in sync

Addiction
Noun
the fact or condition of being addicted to a particular substance, thing, or activity.

Addicted
Adjective
physically and mentally dependent on a particular substance,
and unable to stop taking it without incurring adverse effects.

enthusiastically devoted to a particular thing or activity.

Baby, I'm addicted to you
You are my addiction  
I need you every single day to stay alive
I need you so I don't go insane
You leave me and I go cold turkey
Breaking out into cold sweats
Not being able to move
Dying without you

Time apart is going to **** me
My insides will start to feed off of itself
My eyes will burn because I will run out of tears to douse the fire

My skin will feel like it's ripping itself apart to move closer to you

I will grow wings to migrate wherever you are

I will go deaf if I am not able to hear your voice anymore

I will lie for you
I will die for you
I would do absolutely anything to keep you alive and safe and well

You
Are my addiction
And I need you
Need you for everyday that I am breathing
Everyday that my heart is pumping
Every second that I seem to be alive

I can not let you go
Can not let you out of my system
Can not let you leave without me
Move on without me
I am coming with you
I will never leave you
For you are my addiction
For you are mine

I wanted a taste of your crazy water
I wanted to see what it would be like
See you drank it and you turned insane
But it was a fun insane
You were different and I liked that
And I wanted a taste of your crazy water
Now I'm a lot older and I know now what that crazy water is
And man that **** ***** me up

Listen to me when I'm talking to you
2. Eat what I make for you even though it might taste like ****
3. Don't curse unless you absolutely have to
4. Defend yourself when the stupid little boy on the playground picks on your outfit that you picked out all by yourself this morning
5. Have the biggest imagination possible but not to big or else you won't be taken seriously
6. Jam out to mommy's music in the car even if you don't like it
7. DO NOT ASK MOM FOR AN ANIMAL because she will take you to the pet store and she will buy everything
8. Don't believe everything a magic eight ball tells you
9. I will get you a phone when I decide to so stop asking
10. Brush your teeth after every meal
11. If your looking for Mr. Right you might have to turn left
12. Don't be afraid to ask questions
13. Express yourself in every way possible and don't give a **** what people think
14. Don't bleach your whole head more then Four times in one sitting just because it's not turning "blonde enough"
15. Buy push up bras if it makes you feel pretty not for some ****** bag who likes em big
16. Go bra less once in your life
17. Always do your homework
18. Only study if you have to
19. Ask me for something you know I'll never say yes to just so you can learn what the word no means.
20. Don't get a dream catcher to catch the bad dreams because they will still happen, get a dream catcher because it looks cool
21. Write all your feelings down on paper
22. Always think before you speak
23. listening and hearing are two different things

I saw you,
sitting there,
just sitting,
all alone,
wondering about,
all the things you have done,
and what people have done to you,
thinking,
pondering,
wondering,
while sitting there,
all alone.

The girl with the mood ring and curly hair skimming her lower back,
Doesn’t quite know what her style is but goes with the calling of the wind,
she told me “This life is not long lived yet, but the longest I’ve ever lived”
Mentality always of older descent
Descending into the world she knew and loved  

Always told she looked older
Old enough to have lived two lives
Old enough to know that “If you drown, at least you know you’re headed to shore”
Washed up into someone else’s mind
daydreaming of you in their frontal lobe
Dreaming of the day you become theirs

They seem to be always looking into life’s review mirror
Can’t get enough of the past-
life the past life
The one you lived before you took ownership of a new body
Signed the papers and checked the right boxes
Revising the one you have now
And reviewing the applicants working papers

She was the temporary occupant of the glass house
The one you can throw stones at because now it’s bulletproof
Vest protects you from the gunshots to the heart
since learning from the first life that not everything is handed to you except the rolled up grass in his tiny shed
That’s when she said you’ll never really know the real me
With the rules circling the air that left is law
Unless you went down the right path
Then you’ll never know us outlaws

In-laws ricocheting their gavel on the podium
They are the real judges
The ones who eye you up and down
Tell you your eyeliner is too thick
And your jeans too ripped
But you tell them
My eyes are black so I can keep your shiny,
fake, plastic-wrapped sight out of mine
jeans ripped so I can practice on how to sew your mouth shut

Nicotine just to fall asleep
Body heavy soaking into the queen size mattress
Soaking up the words of her parents the ones who raised her to be hell bent
Waking up to the soaking wet pillow from sweat
Or maybe those are tears...
From the nightmares she so desperately craves like a hole in her head
Ain’t no bulletproof vest for that
10 when the parents split up
16 when she thought she knew what Love was
17 when she really knew what Love was
18 when she laid down in an open field with vultures circling around her
Merry go round of men
Picking at her hip bones and thighs like it was nothing
Taking the best part and moving in on their next ****
But was it their fault if there next ****-
Was already dead....

You hurt me
You broke me
You betrayed me
You ripped me into pieces
You through me on the floor
You diliberitly disobeyed me
You were the coward, not me, you
You made me feel like I was worthless
You made me feel like my existence on this planet was worthless
You made me break down and cry every night when I was with you
So I left
I left you
I left this world
I stopped you from hurting me
I stopped you from throwing me around
I just wanted it to stop
So I left

I missed my artwork
My different brushes
My unique designs
The way the brush adds color when you push harder
But my artwork goes away after awhile
And the only way to see it Is if you look really close but those only show little fragments of what my artwork use to be
But what they don't know is that my artwork were my scars and the canvas were on my wrists
And I miss my artwork

Curiosisty was a mouse
And there was a rumor about curiosity that everyone seemed to believe
"Curiosity killed the cat" they would say
But really,
Curiosity never killed the cat
The cat killed curiosity

I lay in an elf size pool
But I get to decide the temperature
As kids we may have dreaded it
But as we grow up we seem to like it
Bathing in tub
Maybe swaying side to side or
With our legs crossed and
Knees up
Maybe with a bottle or glass of some type of alcohol
Depends on the current occasion
And whether or not the tub is actually filled with water
In water we are buyout
We are light
We float
We are weightless
Things don't sound the Same
Except us
We all sound the same
Every body talking is just another muffled out voice
A cracked knuckle is a high pitch tune
Our vision becomes blurry if we decide to open our eyes
We are not water proof
We have to dry
Water droplets role off our bodies
We are damp
And as we dry off covering our bodies with towels
We all walk away

Her arms were train tracks
Her eyes were rain clouds
Her thoughts were a horror film
Her body was an hour glass and the time was running out
How did no one realize she was a ticking time bomb ready to explode
Maybe because
She always had a smile on her face
Or maybe
Because she always hid everything so well
And she had secrets she would never tell
Her mouth was sewn shut
And maybe that was a good thing
For when she talked she seemed to make things worse
Or as she thought
This wasn't how it was supposed to be
Nothing was like how it was supposed to be
It was all wrong but it was true
She was a beautiful disaster
And no one knew

headache- Pop two Advil
But we can do better than that

Down the whole Advil bottle with a handle of jack
and whiskey throttle into the worlds atmosphere

Stepping into the black hole that holds your life in fragments of their soul
Speeding in the fast lane riding in a limousine
When you’re the only passenger on board

The moon may seem like a cool place to venture
But give me the sun so I can sense what it feels like to be the center of attention and revolve into the shotgun of his heart

To burn and no one says anything about it because that’s the way the cookie crumbles

And no one knows how fresh that bakery is down the street on mars because it all tastes good so no one questions it

That’s funny though, isn’t it?
If everything is going as planned
And nothing is wrong
Life’s sweet memories taste sweeter than the last
And there’s never a bitter taste on your tongue, or in your brain,
No one questions it

But as soon as the sun stops shining into your tinted limousine
And the cookies aren’t as fresh as they used to be
We get all fussy and bent out of shape and start trying to fit the wooden square into the circle imprint
And wonder why the hell its not going in,
Our brain matter turns into the static of that old tv
And our eyes get flustered
Things start looking fuzzy
When we awaken after a long nights sleep and everything is blurry

A morphine drip hanging above our bed inserted into our arm
Anesthesia shoved needles into limbs

look I get it
We think we deserve better than the last
“You can do better than that”
But what if the last thing was the best thing
And what if,
it doesn’t get any better than that?

I’m sorry for ever trusting you
I blame myself for ever falling for you
You broke me
Shattered me to the ground
But I blame myself
They told me
And I didn’t listen,

They told me to stay away
But I said “no, it can’t be true, it’s not”...
And i wished I believed them
Could’ve saved myself from the hurt
But I blame only myself

Blue is the taste of fresh blueberries
Blue is the sound of an old lady telling a story
Blue is the feeling you get when sad
Blue is the smell of rain
Blue is the sight of a fire
Blue is the feeling of catching a firefly on your finger
Blue is the sight of an old tattoo
Blue is the feeling of water
Blue is the sight of lighting
Blue is the sound of thunder
Blue is the feeling you get when relaxed
Blue is the first sip of alcohol
Blue is the awkward silence between me and you
Blue is the feeling you get when you crash from a long day of work
Blue is the sound of a camera clicking
Blue is the touch of silk clothing
Blue is the color of the sea
Blue is the sight of an eye
Blue is the realization of life
Blue is the remembrance of a dream
Blue is the touch of sand
Blue is the sound of a roar
Blue is the feeling you get when sad
Blue is the calming sensation when relaxed
Blue is the color you get when you close your eyes and look in the sun
Blue is the look of an aged face
Blue is the taste of a sour lemon
Blue is the color of Cookie Monster
Blue is the sound of knuckles cracking
Blue is the feeling of writing
Blue is the sound of relief
Blue is the taste of really good food
Blue is the sound of marbles rolling on a wood floor
Blue is the smell of eraser shavings
Blue is the sight of home when you went away for awhile and
Blue is the time of day when I get to see you

We were like the first and last pieces of a loaf of bread
We were thrown away to the world
But the world didn't know how to deal with us
So we slowly disappeared into the air
We heard the screams and the secrets of the people
We ran through the awkward silences like it was our job  
We felt the grief and the disappoint of the children
We filled the emptiness and holes that were left inside hearts
We gave them so much
But received as little as bread crumbs

I had a dream I had a heart ache
My heart was cracked in two
But then I awoke an found out it was true

At the hour of midnight
She fights
She's glowing oh so bright
And she only thinks it's right
No one else agrees
As her parents float over seas
She lives in a bad place
Not full of race
Her sister has a police case
But she can't get there
She wants to
But doesn't know where
She said she wants to go to heaven
But she's only seven
Way to young for her to die
But her life was full of lies

I walked into a 7-11 with you and  then all of the sudden I stopped and starred,
not because a loud and angry guy was screaming at his kids not to touch anything,
but because,
the coffee in the pots were cold and less than half full just sitting there on the counter
and no one was going to come in and drink it,
it would be left there to sit all night getting colder, until someone dumped them and cleaned them out, that's how I was before you came along,
I was a cold *** of coffee left over from that morning that no one wanted anymore,
you see, you seemed to drink the whole coffee *** before it even had a chance to get cold,
And if it did get cold,
You'd drink it anyway,

You got ecstatic over the thought of having caffeine in you to wake you up and make you lively again  
And I love that about you

You are different
You don't care about my non-coffee drinking past
You don't care about the dark rough grinds that took over me and made me undrinkable
You don't care if I was French pressed or keurig'd out
You still love me

You'd still love me if I was skim milk
If I was a skinny fat free latte
You love me now, even when I'm whole milk
If I became a double chocolaty chip
And I love that about you

You love my "I wanna white mocha latte",
and my "I need an iced French vanilla coffee from Dunkin' Donuts right now!",
And my "I am on a first date with this guy walking around with this amazing dude spilling a watered down small coffee all over my hands because I am so nervous, AND I DONT EVEN CARE BECAUSE I DONT KNOW IT YET BUT HE WILL BE MINE FOREVER!"

You're that kind of "I-don't-need- another-espresso-shot-but-I'll-take-an-extra-one-anyway-even-if-I­-do-have-to-pay-fifty-more-cents" type of guy,

Because in the end I realized paying that extra fifty cents was worth it and I'm glad I did
Because this is the best cup of coffee I've ever had and i don't want any other kind,

And I wish I would have tried this sooner and I want this feeling to last forever, because this feeling is nothing like I have ever felt before, it's like the first time sipping a different kind of coffee and not sure how it's going to taste and then all of a sudden your taste buds start going crazy and you lose your **** mind because it is so good,
And you want the cup of coffee to last forever, and it will,
Because you will keep going back to your most favorite and amazing cup of coffee for every day that you live

We went to Dunkin' Donuts again the other day,
We're known as the 7pm coffee drinkers,
One of the workers that's always there gave you two free to go cups,
We're there a lot....

The first thing I gave you was a small coffee with cream and sugar filled kiss,
the second thing was a gift card to a coffee shop,

I love you a latte
And you know i espresso a lot of feelings towards you
You're my 4 packs of sugar
My hazelnut and French vanilla creamer
You're the first thing I think of when I wake up and what keeps me up at night,
You and my coffee
Us and our coffee,
Surprising each other at work with a 16 oz coffee in our hands with a dumb smile on our faces

You are the reason I am happy
You are the reason I love coffee so much
You are the reason I wake up
You're the reason I ask if you want coffee
And the baristas at our school have an odd look on there face when I order not one but two cups of coffee and they can't help but wonder if there's someone they don't know about
And there is
It's you
And you are mine

Take me away,
To a place where we can be far from those who don't understand,
My people have become okay with my choices,
It took awhile but it's now all alright,
For you though it's all different.
Your people see me as a criminal stealing the innocence of their kin,
But what they don't know is that you came to me when I was lost,
You showed me the path I trailed off from.
I was in a bad place, but now I seem to be serenity, a good place that I wish I wish I was in when I was younger

I hate that sound
It makes me cringe
Wild goose bumps come popping out of my skin
The hair on my arm sticks up
I turn away
But the sound of your chatterbox against his makes me wanna disappear
I'm not here
I don't wanna be
It's almost like you're cheating
But i know you're not
You were in love with another man
Only that's what I thought
Who knew what was going on in your head
How long have you been lying to yourself
And to others
I was foolish to think I believed the magic I was seeing
Ten years it went on
Then suddenly stopped
My world crumbling into pieces
It took forever to put it back together
Some pieces are lost and can't be found
But the damage you did could never be fixed
And that moment could never be forgotten
Now five years later
You went through guys like money flying out of your hands
But this one went on for a little longer
And the longer it went on
The pain I was dealing with kept coming on
It doesn't seem right
Even after  all these years
I miss the one man that stood by you through everything
But you let him go
You were stupid enough to let him go
Now it's every other weekend
Instead of everyday
Why in the world did you make it that way
So now there's only one thing I have to say
I hate those sounds that make me cringe

Hey,
You wanna know what happens to  the passing smile in the hallways, and the “hey love!” with a hand hold that seamlessly morphs into a stretched arm turnt backwards in the sea of people,
When the smile goes home,
It fades and eyes water,
The lines are still carved into her  cheeks,
Smudges of charcoal placed over her hands and face,

She feels like,
a dandelion, a ****,
Always uprooted but always looking happy,
Even though it knows that they won’t stay for long,

You ever feel like you’re in a constant state of falling?
Never once reaching the ground,
Hovering the floor,
And can’t wait to touch so you can get back up again.
That was her,

She plasters a smile on her face everyday
and throws in a couple of laughs to get through the day,
She asks her self “What am I doing with my life”
It’s revolving around everyone else’s,
She isn’t living for herself anymore
She’s dandelion seeds in the wind not knowing where it will take her

The moon killed the sun this morning,
I woke up and found its pieces scattered across my landscape of preferable vision,
it's shining light burnt my irises.

A million little lightning bugs floated to the ground,
tiny adolescent flames lit up the yard,
an explosion of beauty the world wasn't ready for,
but I was...

I am a broken pile of destroyed cells,
I sit in the darkest corners of the room,
No one can see me,
I like it that way,
The cold breeze drifting across my torso and up to my shoulders,
Running across my chest and neck like a silk scarf,
I was once used,
Once loved,
Once cared for,
I was once somebody's,
Then that somebody left,
Left me broken,
And now I am a pile of destroyed cells who sits in the darkest parts of the room.

If you forget me
You won't just forget me
You'll forget the memories
You'll forget the moments
The time we had together
Everything
You'll forget everything
If you forget me you won't just be forgetting me
You'll be forgetting you too

She let go because of them
He let go because of them
They all let go because of them
Of who?
Of them.
Them, the people who told them other wise.
The people who told them what they hated hearing but believed it.
She let go because of the words
He let go because of the rumors
They let go because they believed
Believed that it was true
They all let go for believing
Don't let go
Don't believe the lies
But maybe they want to
Them, they have no idea  what if it was them
They wouldn't know and it's their fault they are the reason they let go
Why she let go
Why he let go
Why they all let go

Laying in bed
Wondering why "Go Away"
Means come in
Wondering why,
I use to be able to go to sleep without you
I didn't need to hear your voice as I fell asleep
And now I can't sleep without it

Oh but I can sleep fine now
I didn’t need you
I thought I did but I was wrong I was so so wrong
And a part of me loves that

Maybe now you'll understand why
I dont question it
I don't follow rules
I dont think the same as you

your words,
Like The beads of a dream catcher,
Taking away all my nightmares.

Your artwork
Carefully etched in your soft armor covering your body
Like those of strong Knights

Your thoughts
So,
unpredictable to others,
But i,
I know you like the back of my hand

Like the hand that use to hurt you
But now I'm here to comfort you, like I've been all these years

But you, you're just noticing now,

If my words I wrote down to you today were clothes, I would be naked.
For what I wrote I put my heart and soul in,
My words were my backbone,
So I guess now I'm missing the most important parts.

I'm ripped apart because you made me vulnerable,
I gave you all I have and you through it away,
I had to go dumpster diving for my broken pieces,
But now you wonder why I don't speak deeply to you anymore,
And my doubt in myself doesn't "inspire" you,
For now I keep my mouth shut.

I only seem to mumble the words I wish to speak in the back of my head,
And now it's time for me to leave this world, for now I'm no longer needed.

Warm-blood meets the cold air, the harsh winds of reality,
reflecting back the spitting image of a girl.

Touch me with your snow like hands and make me shiver,
make my goosebumps come out and play because they miss the feeling of the-

Sore limbs,
weak muscles,
Need to stretch out,
Like the elastic bands on my wrists tying back my hair from going in my face,
like your words when you speak

Deceased
Dead
Lungs out of service
Liver out of whack
Trachea contracts
Lifeless

Wake up
Rise and shine
Baby’s breath
Crying in the middle of the night
Crying just to make sure we are still alive

For everyday
We are born again
Born again into the next 24 hours
16 hours spent sleeping
2 hours spent pondering
3 hours spent wandering
1 hour spent grocery shopping
30 minutes spent driving
40 minutes spent talking
50 minutes spent relaxing

Redo
Restart
Reboot

Discard the memories
Settle them into your pillow
Skin cells shed into your sheets
Yesterday’s hair strands weave into your clothes
For everyday we are born again
Peel off the clothes
Rinse off the regrets
Spray on the hope
Tie your hair up in a bun
Step outside and shut the front door

We expect a chair to be there when we sit down
We expect that the outcome will turn out ok
We expect the water from the bottle to taste good
We expect a stair to be there when we put our foot down
We expect that we will sleep well
We expect too much from such an unexpected universe
And we hope for good outcomes when all we had was bad karma.

Eyes,
brown,
blue,
hazel,
green,
Eyes will wander,
no matter the color,
no matter the size,
they will wander.
They will wander on other eyes,
they will stare at the color,
The size,
the shape,
the beauty,
the movement,
everything.
They can draw you in, or scare you away,
these eyes can see.
These eyes have seen,
and will keep on seeing.
Eyes will look at something or someone and lock onto it
Eyes are the site to the heart,
Eyes are the windows to the soul.
Sometimes eyes will forget the past,
or they might sure as hell remember it.
They can forgive and forget,
they have expression.
Eyes have a personality of themselves.
They are their own person.

It was one night  
She was at a concert
So we were alone
We talked all night
You told me secrets
I told you stories
But there was one story I wanted to tell
I've been wanting to tell you it for awhile
There were so many opportunities
And all of them failed
It's been two years
Still I haven't told you
And maybe I never will
But man I wish I could
You know what you did
And so do I
But you don't know I know
And I wish you knew

Starts with once upon a time
Ends with the end
But what's in the middle
Maybe some useless rhymes
Maybe some nonsense
Or maybe some fictitious character as sour as a bad lime
Or rather a sweet character that gets herself into some sticky situations like pine
But maybe just maybe it's non of them
But that is often very rare
It is easy to write a fairy tale
Just do it with some care
Just have a mean old man or woman
Have a sweet young girl
And a prince coincidentally the same age as she and very fine
And a plot why they can't be together
See it's simple but that is your job to write one not mine

It was 1 o'clock am,
Way 2 late to be up,
I have already had 3 glasses of your favorite wine and,
I was wondering about number 4,
I woke up at 5 today and still asking myself why I hadn't fallen back asleep until 6 but,
That was the thing I couldn't sleep,
Sleeping till 7 was a stretch so I didn't even try,
But then 8 went by
And you left by 9 and I,
Just couldn't seem to get you off my mind
By 10 I was back asleep
And 11 back on my feet
I called you 12 times
But by the 13th time you had finally answered and I
Just simply couldn't remember what I had to say
But to hear the sound of your voice brought me to cry
And I had cried 14 little tears, and then,
I was out of them,
I was out of tears,
I was out of breath,
I was out of wine,
I was out of love,
I was out of answers,
And questions because,
You, broke all my 15 heart strings.

Yesterday my name was dreadful,
Today my name is nervous,
Tomorrow my name will be fine,
I'm fine,
Fine lies through her fragile teeth being careful not to shout,
For she might show emotion she's not ready to embrace.

Struggling to fight the words Fox-trotting across her eyes shut by her eyelids acting as heavy curtains that darken every inch of a room that was once known to carry light,

Thoughts riding in and out of "fine's" brain like ocean waves kissing the shoreline at twilight.

Yesterday her name was dreadful,
Today her name is nervous,
Tomorrow and all the tomorrow's to follow her name will forever be fine...

She never had happy parents
He never had caring parents
She never had loving parents
He never had parents
She never had family vacations
He never had house renovations
She never had a home
He never had a pet to call his own
She never felt a hug
He never heard an i love you
She never tasted a kiss
He never wanted to live
She never wanted to die
He was hoping to get the chance
She was wishing upon every shooting star it would come true
They were both happy
And content even through all the never's in life
Because they never knew what the never's were...

Those words we use to speak to each other so fluently are now harsh lashes to my flesh,
My shield covering my body now seems to be the color of black and blue,
We no longer speak in fluent tone,
For the tone we speak now is foreign to one another,
My good intentions seem to be your biggest fear,
Words coming from another body but all I get are the harsh lashes to my flesh

Not only were there fireworks in the sky
But there were fireworks in both our eyes
That night was amazing and I wouldn't change a thing
Except for the fact that we both got caught

When tears turn black
When breaths turn to gasps
When talking turns to silence
When cries turn to sobs
When i love you turns to I hate you
When your heart breaks into two
When the room turns dark
When there's nothing you can do anymore
When your completely broken
When all you can say is sorry
When nothing seems to work
When your falling apart
When you think everything is over
I'll be there
To help you
To comfort you
To tell you that i love you
To hug you as hard as I can
To be your friend forever and always

Nothing ever lasts and
Things always change
We suffer from the mutation we have had in our life
But somehow in the end we always seem to "get over it"

Second hand secrets
Bubbling bathtubs
Drowning the dread
Escaping evil
Violent videotapes
Sickening stories
******* and *******
Driving drunk
Elaborating on the evening
Vicious voices
Warped whispering
Only I can hear
Oblivious to what was happening
Sinking under the water
Not wanting to come up for the desired air
For I thought I could breathe underwater
My lungs would fill with the air for fish
My brain would explode
I could hear the muffled screams
But I liked it better under a world I barely knew
no longer had I have to worry about what was above sea level
For it didn't matter in my tattered mind
My heart was pounding in my body
Almost screaming and grabbing at my chest trying to pull me back up
Gone girl
Girl now gone

The first rule you learn when you live in a glass house is don't throw stones,
The second is don't walk around naked,
You have neighbors,

When you live in a glass house you're mindset will morf into it,
You are so used to being open when everyone can see you and hear you that you praise the times when people can't see into your brain,
All the thoughts you have,
what you really wanna share with people but to afraid that your idea might get shut down,
But they don't have to know you have thoughts or judgements or opinions because they can't see through your mind, only your house
And you take this for granted

For those who watch Game of   Thrones, a short man once said "You are a complication"

He loved her
But he could not keep her, for
She made things difficult for him,
"Complicated"

Hard to understand,
What people say when they don't feel like explaining so it's just,
"Complicated"

You are an abstract art piece that no one really knows where to put,
Nobody understands it but they stare and walk away,

She was a middle school rumor roaming the hallways,
Everybody knew that it was there,
But no body really knew the truth,

It was an unrequited love,
And later we found out it was another kind of love,
Another lover,

Her life was problematic from the start,
She grew up with an abusive father and fled her town,
Mother raising her to expose herself,
For her to be exploited,

That was life,
Finding your soulmate,
Seeming like you're gonna spend forever with them,
Then one day they leave for another,
All because you were a complication...

These hands are soft
These hands have held other hands
These hands are cold, delicate and frail
But his hands were different

His hands are hardened and calloused over
His hands are welcoming
His hands have held hammers and saws
His hands have also held a new life
His hands have held mine
His hands worked much more than expected
His hands are like no other
His hands are missed
No longer am I, anyone or anything going to be able to touch his hands
the way I use to

I can hear there indistinct voices chattering above my ceiling
Their laughter is like nails on a chalk board screeching in my ear
To think that she can share the same laugh with another man...