I wake up in bed
but I'm still in a dream.
Trying to excape,
what I just can't face.
I'm trapped in my head,
where everything is not what it seems.
It feels so real these words take shape.
Not sure what to make,
of this one-two mistake.
Trying to erase,
the times I couldn't be brave.
When I couldn't save,
the me I couldn't become.
When I was just too young.
I couldn't understand.
Why.
It was already too late.

As I look into the mirror
I see a world that wasn't meant to be.
A place in which I can't understand.
Fingers without hands,
a one man band
and a mountain of sand.
A world not so bland.
Time just stops,
a door unlocks.
Hopscotch in the rain,
with water flowing down the drain.
Anything but mundane.
A walk in the park
without light in the dark.
A world with no unease
where no one disagrees
but no one sees.

In front of me is a wall.
I know not how tall it is.
Nor can I see or feel it.
Yet I can sense its presence.
It follows me everywhere I go always one step in front of me.
It has been there ever since the day I was born.
I just didn't realize until I did.
It is the main cause of all my pain, suffering and lack of motivation.
It is seemingly unbreakable.

I don't remember
many memories of comfort,
or maybe I'm just biased

since I forget how it is,
the time it ends

It's exhausting.

Love will forever be my greatest distraction.

If I had to describe life in three words.

Pain and distractions.

Sometimes I wish I
could run away from my mind.
I might not be fine.

Any longer, don't
think I can get stronger.
I can't find my shine.