Is it weird that I go through life
Times like now
Prime
And I don't wanna be bothered
Don't wanna be spoken to
Don't wanna be looked at
Don't wanna be catcalled nor seduced
Singing positive melodies in y head with a straight face on the outside
Won't let you in
Look where that got me last time
I don't wanna be bothered
With bs
With negative stanzas
With bs
With bd
With death
With dishonest
With ill intentions
I don't wanna be bothered
They profess the desire of a strong black woman
They lack the knowledge of all that comes with that
How she carries the baggage the world balanced on her back
While he's starring at her back side
Wonder what made it so fat?
Slide
I don't even want you near me
First dates can be ******* invitations for somebody else
But honestly...
Your forwarding gestures to see my insides is an insult to my intelligence

Growing inside
Dependent on myself
As night time slides
And morning comes
I'm left to my thoughts
It's a scary
Belonging feeling
Alone is no longer an emotion
It's my other home
MapQuest the address roads in my mind
In depth
Destructions under construction
Why are your eyes closed?
I know you're awake
Use your other sense
Go beyond what you can see
Is it me?
Are you sure?
Is it really me or is it your ideology of who you want me to be?
Lonely walks with me
Hand in my own
Held
Because who else?
There's no one there
But silence never rings in these ears
Does that make the diagnosis schizophrenia
Or need for hypochondriacally longing to be wanted
Surely there's answers to my questions
but Dr. Who's PHD doesn't work on me without preauthorization.

This is why I don't let people in my head
Even my expectations never stop.

Why leave me this way?
You drive me crazy when you're away
Butterflies
Fluttering
Disappearing
Flying
Keeping me speechless
Yet I smile
I beg this feeling
Just stay for awhile
I blame the unknown
Things left unsaid
Forgotten
Broken phrases torn by stuttering
I blame the unknown for the silence it holds

There is an acquaintance that greets me in the dark
The lonely hour if you will
She never speaks
But yet..
We're alike
Slightly
She's about 5"6
Well rounded hips
I'm 5"2 and this...with big lips
She mirrors
In many ways of her, I'm jealous
Her only job is to shadow
Sitting back to watch me like TV
Everything motioning vibe is imitated
Sublimated
Compensated
Her wardrobe is like night
50 shades of gray
I just wish she would speak
Shadow
Give me something other than silence
If she could speak what would she say?