Me against myself against I,
I am not alright
This darkness can not be conquered by light
I keep my feelings bottled tight, out of sight
Why do I hide?
Me against myself against I,
But who is right?
All I gotta do is make it through another night
No time to address it, I don't wanna fight
That's why I hide

©2023

If I were to collect then present
Each and every tear I cried
If I were to show
Every emotion I was told to hide
If I were to point out
The litany of moments where I lied
If I were to open up
Recalling the days I wished I'd died
And shamefully admit
The number of times I've tried
Would you be able to love me for me
And put the worst of me aside?
Don't worry if you can't,
The rides creator couldn't even finish the ride

©2024

I wasn't bred from good stock
Or birthed with any hope of a shot
Can't imagine that coming as a big shock
Couldn't possibly hide the rot
A thick scar dug into both wrists visually express what verbally I could not
Flesh color replaced the black rorschach ink blot
To clarify, a stark reminder was all I got
KO'd after a turned cheek an awful lot
Like knock knock
Who's there?
Just a nobody,
A lowly placeholder of a single census spot

©2024

I'm not afraid of gods
Not particularly afraid of man
The ones that give me pause
Are the ones who think they themselves
Are made in the image of their gods
Gods by association, what are the odds?
They will stop at nothing
To hide the fact
They're both a fraud
I swear to god

©2024

How does it always find me?
Easy,
It is me
At the very least it's in me
Darkness is part of this story
And it's not something to envy

©2024

can i still hold on to you
can i still hold on to us
just a little longer
this dream feels good
than any other reality !!

I have a lot to prove
I have even more to lose
If I forgot how to move
Would you risk a mile in my shoes?
Much of my heart I've had to forcefully remove
Just to hide the fact that I'm affected by the abuse
And maybe convince myself I'm of some use
A far cry from the sorry excuse of a life as a light fixture hanging for a noose
And even though it seems to always be me against myself it's still lose lose
So I hoist a white flag but my mind isn't interested in a truce
And ignores my pleas too please just cut me loose

©2024

PEOPLE SAY THAT EYES DOESNT LIE
CAN A STRANGER LOOK INTO MY EYES AND
TELL HOW DEAD I AM INSIDE??

My words fill you with emotions
The very depth of your soul aches for understanding
Yet no one sees the shallow waters we make
Never get to taste the salt we live in

To see the sky turn red
And fade into a glorious purple
We seek not the future of salvation
But the relief of our present

My heart is breaking
That is why I'm letting my words ensnare
No one can heal this ache
No presence can fill the void

Ask us not for our sovereign grace
The shallow pools help so much
Feeling something rather than nothing
The only way for us to feel alive

Yet we crave for something deeper
A purpose in life
A place of grandeur
To end all of our suffering

We crave a love unconditional
To have our voices heard
To end the darkness
That ensnares our soul

To bask in the light of true want
To be free and accepted
To walk without fear
To love without hate

Peace and love
Are all we seek
To be ourselves
Without judgement or chains

Just let the pain fall off your back
Pretend it doesn't make you crack

Hide from it

Run from it

Don't let it find you

More problems are sure to come
if you let yourself succumb

But even if you do
let the pain slip through

Keep that mask securely attached
to hide the bruises from being attacked