yes I know I need some love
but it shows up like sudden rain
and I then wonder if
I  should delight myself in it

all these years gone by
the lies and the pain
then I ponder
if I could love again

the hide and seek
of the clouds and the sun
the warmth and drizzles
change my plans again

the mirror has been spoilt
shows me strangers
in its sight of the demons
i had slain

as I sit on the stairs of my home
in the silence and alone
I think of you
and it makes me smile in vain

if we had the ability
to keep a copy
of the people we loved
with us

a version of them
the way we remember
and if we could let go
the parts we could never fix

maybe then, we could breathe
maybe then we could move
past love that probably never was

maybe then we could.
just be.

When you feel the bed, the sheets
the room silent, cool
you can hear the sound of rustles

Aching for your hands on my back
nails that gently scratch
warm breath on my ear

I wanna stretch you open
and fill you deep
as you turn back to look into my eyes

And bite my finger hard
to stop from screaming out
and let out a shudder

You don't realise yet
that i was just getting started
and the rest of the day
you will be sore and tender

Disappointed i am
for i was dropped
like a potato
not that i was hot

Disappointed i am
for i was given heat
as i had erred
not that i was ****

Disappointed i am
for i lost the man
i used to see in the mirror
not that i can recognise anymore

Disappointed i am
for the time lost
in learning to love
and to have lost it all

Disappointed i am
while the world tries so hard
to put a smile and be grateful
and know its a slow death for us all

Starting again, staring at a blank page
Was this going to be a ramble, about a gamble?
Nah nah… it was just me, trouble
Cmon, start even if it's just a preamble

Words they are just that. Words
Can never capture the real world
Actions and guilt, sorrow and spilt milk
There you go, now you have an ensemble

Its season 3 with a similar plot
The casts different but protagonists not
Promising beginnings and shattered trust
Ah this is familiar, you are back in the temple

Please go in
Please go back

I am so sorry
That i ever wished
Wished something
Wished anything at all

Please go back
Take everything back

Little did i know
That you would
Make it all happen
Yes it did. And more than that

Please go back
And send me back

The first time i felt
This sun lit world
The smell and sound
The tastes and touches

Why do i wait
The rest of my breaths
Waiting to feel it
Once again

Please go back
And take me back with you

Born. Once again.
Air filling in my wet lungs.
Cant open these eyes.
Even if they did, i cant see

The skin, the hair
Are my only shields
And the sun and rain
Will make them hold me in

Oh my lessons from the past
Why cant i learn from them yet
I keep coming back
Just to see the sun set.

I grow in size
But my soul it seems
Is just a balloon
Holding all my sins

A day then comes
Of my final gasps
A check out bill of things
i lost and grasped

Again.