today was ****
just like every other day
i just feel like
it got worse

you're the girl
with the brown hair and
the bright baby blue eyes

you're the girl
with the great taste in music
we both like the same bands,
and they saved both of our lives

you're the girl
who cries herself to sleep
because the person who was
always there for you left for another person

you're the girl
who sits in the bathtub
and cuts herself until she's
satisfied about how red the water is
and how ****** her arm is

you're the girl
who get pushed around at school
and pretends to be okay
with her fake smiles and favorite
university sweatshirts and leggings

she's the girl
who i want to save

i dont think you ever got
that you're the one that i wanted
not the boy down the street
or the 20 year old down the block
i wanted the one who lived
millions of miles away from me
the one who i would have waited years for
but you left and i had to let go

its been a few months and i still miss you
i still love every thing about you
the way your hair smelt in the morning
or the way you wrapped your arms around me
and let me read my poems to you and you would
tell me that they were great and that i should write more

but now i dont have happy things
to write about anymore
since you were one of my only sources
of happiness

all i write about now is death and how much
i miss you and i wonder what you would say
if you knew what was going on
in my head or if you read my poems
if you would come back and love me again
but you wont
and i think now im starting to accept that

thank you though
for teaching me how to love
or something whatever this was
but you're still the one

i
want

sudden
quick
fast
thats how i want
my life to
end

like a story
the end of a story tale
'goodnight honey, its time for bed'
but to sleep forever
to never wake up
would be
wonderful

i never thought
i would ever feel like this
like i ever wanted to die
but i do and i want it to be over
soon

i know people will be sad
but they will cope
hopefully
and maybe they wont but they dont get it
i dont feel happy anymore
i feel tired
lonely
alone

and this is the end of my story book
the 3 months clean
down the drain just like that
but im tired of hating myself
and im tired of feeling like this
so maybe this will make me feel
all better
now