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but
zoey Nov 2013
but
i need you here
i need your soft words whispering
in my ears telling me that im going to be
okay

but you're not going to come back
now instead of soft words
they're loud and deep
your voice scares me now
and you dont tell me thats its going
to be okay anymore

now you yell at me and scream
you voice isnt soft its heavy
and you never tell me its okay anymore
you tell me to give up now
i think you might be right

maybe it is time to give
up
zoey Nov 2013
sudden
quick
fast
thats how i want
my life to
end

like a story
the end of a story tale
'goodnight honey, its time for bed'
but to sleep forever
to never wake up
would be
wonderful

i never thought
i would ever feel like this
like i ever wanted to die
but i do and i want it to be over
soon

i know people will be sad
but they will cope
hopefully
and maybe they wont but they dont get it
i dont feel happy anymore
i feel tired
lonely
alone

and this is the end of my story book
the 3 months clean
down the drain just like that
but im tired of hating myself
and im tired of feeling like this
so maybe this will make me feel
all better
now
zoey Nov 2013
you make me feel gross
the way you touched me
and talk to me.
the lies to fed to me
and the way you let me
believe the **** that
you told other girls
you're gross.
and i hate every
single thing
about
you.
zoey Nov 2013
the person who im i might
be in love with
is in love with someone else

he's in love with a girl with brown hair
and hazel eyes, and love in her heart and
the sun in her eyes

while im the girl he's ******* around with
blonde hair, and no love in her heart more like
sadness and no sun in her eyes more like black,
deep, gross depression.
sad
zoey Nov 2013
sad
the sadness
has taken over today
and i have barely gotten out of
bed today

i have not done anything today
and tomorrow is school
i can already sense that
it is going to be very ******

so someone come
save me
please

i am very tired
and i cannot write now
zoey Nov 2013
today was ****
just like every other day
i just feel like
it got worse
zoey Nov 2013
im sorry i wasnt what
you needed
or what you wanted

but to make it any better
you were what i needed
you were everything i ever
wanted in someone

you're in my veins, my blood,
you're inside my head you ****
i hate every ******* thing about you
but i still love you

i chose you ever ******* time
every time you ran from me
and left me i always took you back

and i regret it.
zoey Nov 2013
you're the girl
with the brown hair and
the bright baby blue eyes

you're the girl
with the great taste in music
we both like the same bands,
and they saved both of our lives

you're the girl
who cries herself to sleep
because the person who was
always there for you left for another person

you're the girl
who sits in the bathtub
and cuts herself until she's
satisfied about how red the water is
and how ****** her arm is

you're the girl
who get pushed around at school
and pretends to be okay
with her fake smiles and favorite
university sweatshirts and leggings

she's the girl
who i want to save
zoey Nov 2013
today someone told me
'i want you to forgive the person who's
hurt you the most, and to tell that
that it is okay'

and when i did that
you hurt me again
you called me a **** and ruined everything
when you were the only one ive been with
the only one i've truly loved

you are the only thing
i have ever loved
and i really shouldnt have

i know i should forgive you
but i want you to love me again
and you're the one
who needs to be sorry
ugh
zoey Nov 2013
ugh
i hate myself
for still thinking
about you
zoey Nov 2013
i miss you
and i hope you're doing good
but we can't talk
or speak because you left
i wish you would stop coming back
and then leaving again

because you're breaking my heart
and i dont think i cant take this
anymore

and the one thing i hate is that
no matter how much i try and hate you
and try to move on from you
i cant because i still love you

i love how your hair smells like the ocean
and how your lips curl up on one side when you smile
i love everything about, but i know
i should hate every
*******
part of
you.
you
zoey Nov 2013
you
i hate you
for hurting me
for tearing me apart
even thought you acted like you didnt
do anything
you did

it hurts still
6 or 7 months later
and im tired of feeling like this
like you're going to come back,
you're going to tell me you love me
but no this is
real life
not a
m o v i e

and i hate that ive
loved you for 8 months
and you ******* left me
you left me to be with that ****
that *****
who didnt love you
just wanted you to pleasure
her

i loved you
through everything
through the heartache
and the pain and the hurt
and i still love you
but i also hate your ****
g u t s
zoey Nov 2013
i dont think you ever got
that you're the one that i wanted
not the boy down the street
or the 20 year old down the block
i wanted the one who lived
millions of miles away from me
the one who i would have waited years for
but you left and i had to let go

its been a few months and i still miss you
i still love every thing about you
the way your hair smelt in the morning
or the way you wrapped your arms around me
and let me read my poems to you and you would
tell me that they were great and that i should write more

but now i dont have happy things
to write about anymore
since you were one of my only sources
of happiness

all i write about now is death and how much
i miss you and i wonder what you would say
if you knew what was going on
in my head or if you read my poems
if you would come back and love me again
but you wont
and i think now im starting to accept that

thank you though
for teaching me how to love
or something whatever this was
but you're still the one

i
want

— The End —