Some days I want to sit in a chair
Alone, on a rock overlooking
The frigid ocean
I want to sit and look out at the horizon
The taunting broken promise
And as the sun sets
Pulling colors down with it
I want someone to slap me
And tell me it's okay to stop crying
That I don't have to try and drown my sorrow
In a bottle or in my tears
I want them to pull me close and kick the chair
Into the ocean
"It's gone" they'll say
"Your new life starts now"
And I'll walk away with them
Rubbing my cheek from the slap

Maybe someday I'll throw darts at pictures that aren't you

and when he smiled
god,
the whole **** room
just
       lit
           up

It's another slew of ****** poetry
so publish this junk
so I can sell my work to people who can't read
let me tell you about David
he is a *****
not a literal ******,
that'd be ridiculous,
what I mean is -
he admits to having emotions
what a *** right?
but his emotions come on too strong
cologne on some ***** in a bar
and he doesn't know what to do with them
so he empties out every bottle
and fills them with his tears
then he thinks he might see something amid the pain
something to throw together
so he stacks the bottles in a jaunty pyramid
and calls it art
how ******* deep of him
he loves girls
fears rejections
so his trash cans are filled with old cummy wads of tissue paper
and wakes up hung over and nervous about everything
I hate him almost as much as I love him

Then there's Jake -
a grade A ****
no really, he is
Violent
angry for no reason other than it makes him feel good
he views women as three holes to put on his trophy case
he puts cigarettes out on his arm
and throws every thing anybody he ever loved ever gave him
back in their face
with a hefty helping of satirical, cynical, sarcasm
but say what you want about Jake
He get's **** done
and the **** he does only helps him out
Jake and David
they are best ******* buds
and God knows why
because most of the time
you can walk in on them
choking each other to death in the night
only to hug it out the next morning
Jake and David
star crossed lovers
holding desperately onto each other
as they make their way down the dark, frothing river of life

I either like girls or
older men and I guess
that's not okay to some
people, hell, it's not even
okay to myself, but I can't help
that I like the way girls look with
their ******* off or the way men
look when they have a 5 o'clock
shadow.

I really like the way he wiped my tears
away and they way she always was the
little spoon and the way he held my shoulder
and the way she just knew when i was sad and the
way he just showed me how the shadows are in
different colours of light...

*******, i guess im bi, but
hell i could be wrong.

i wanted him to miss me
and i mean, i guess he does.
i wanted him to miss me like
how i miss him.
i miss him like how i
miss the stars in the day.
i miss him like how i
miss being a kid.
i miss him like how i
miss disney songs.
i miss him.

he reminds me of how i
am mature but also how
i am a kid. he reminds me of
the stars, and i how i wish to be
near them. i just miss him.

he walked past me this morning
and we shared that knowing look again
but i guess he doesn't miss me enough
to tell me a decent hello.

i guess it came out wrong.
i guess i didn't mean to say,
"I only live for my grades."
i mean, i live for the stars,
planets, consellations, and
the black holes.

i live for the universe surrounding me.
but, i guess i was also telling the truth.
the only things i care about are my grades.
i hyperventilate when i don't have the perfect grades.
i literally cry when things don't go my way.
i need the highest gpa possible.

it's my only chance to a future,
its my only hope.
its everything i dream about,
think about,
and live for.

so, i guess i was telling the truth when i
said i had nothing else to live for
except for my grades.

i guess i should've let you
take me to the couselor.
i think i need one.