Sometimes all you can do is love
Someone that hurts you
With their love.
Their love that provokes hope
also a love that blurs trust with hatred
making a mess that I don’t know how to leave
And I let you leave

I thought I was

a hopeless romantic

so blinded by what you called

my own fantasy,

sometimes i feel like i made your love up.

You were here enough

for me to stay within your reach

but i lost grasp of myself

because you werent there to hold my hand.

why do you only say you love me?

when i needed you to show me.

silly little girl

holding onto hopeful words

beautiful and real in the moment.

It’s a push and pull

based on adapting to you.

i reach beyond myself

for a drop of your attention,

losing myself

because i offer it all for

exchange of maybes

and no promises.

and its not worth

the suffering that

you think ill get through.

I lost grasp of myself

lying to myself I am okay

putting your love before mine.

I’ll miss you regardless

of the existences of Us,

might as well save myself

from your inconsistent love.

The minority will always be painted ugly by hoarded privilege.
So they can hide their greed and ignorance in their perfect image.
The American reality that discriminates and incarcerates, will use our anger as bait.
We become their tools to start fires and spark violence,
so they can asserts their forces and keep us silenced.
We think the chaos now is giving us an American voice,
But choosing to ignore justice for us has always been their choice.
They stole this land with unfair fights,
They made the constitution and cite their rights,
But they won’t share any of it if you’re not white.

I want you to understand me,
Because words can’t always communicate
my feelings clearly.
But you seem to do a fine job ignoring it,
which makes me wallow in it.
You drive me crazy being so far away,
But being so far away keeps me sane.
Love me,
like I thought you would,
and it will be okay.

Our shared interests
brought me here,
two years ago.
I thought we could be as beautiful as
the words you made into poetry,
And I can finally see clearly
That it was.
I finally understood your word paintings
as myself in your shoes,
Trying to fill the same void with
Borrowed love that we won’t return.
You knew I could love you
Just how you needed,
But it wouldn’t repair your heart because
I wasn’t what you wanted.
I write like you once wrote
about a love I don’t need but I want.

I noticed all the red flags,
And I ran.
Except like a damaged bull,
To my demise.
Maybe I did ruined the flags,
But the color is still bright red.
The hatred came from seeing it’s color,
when the flags were labeled blue.
I got kicked out of my own cage,
And I won.
I didn’t keep my prize,
Because resentment takes up too much room.

My unspoken affection
was the love I had for you.
The rest of you
was the bane of my smile.
My tears fall more
and my lips curl less
The love for you hid
the love from you.