I would never let a wave knock me to sand
As long as my feet still worked on land
And I would never run far from the fear of a burn
Since a hand made trophy is something you earn.
I've watched when hurricanes ruined my pride
And I let my judgement un-detect lies.
As the people who told me their time was up
Still, I never quite hoped high enough
So who was I to tell you to keep
Your freezing hands away from my heat.
Ever since the few times I stood my ground
As a picketing human screaming too loud,
I've learned that you shouldn't hear too soon
That you can always go blind by the light of the Moon

I used to take the cold for granted.
How my breathe kept me company when my fingers were scared to move.
I used to talk to leaves and see how many shoes they tried on that day.
Even the wind wouldn't lead their skydive astray.
I used to paint with the dirt and create a garden in a field of ash
With sticks which created the most elegant slash.
But today I put myself in a box.

It was a coffin whose cracks let in too much light to see the stars.
I taped it shut.
I wasn't awaiting a wake up call or coffee from my assistant.
I was singing with the silence till it told me to stop.
Until it told me I couldn't let my blood circulate by itself.

So I walked with it to the construction site of a project that builders abandoned.
I saw the broken windows and the overflowing mailbox that begged to be opened.
I didn't want to look a the old graffiti on the billboard that got wasted on eyes that only looked down.
But it was today that I led my blood to the crossroads where direction fell off the map.
Lungs tried to help me but they just wanted to skip around with my breath.
I came up with a solution but the contractors didn't agree.
I blame distraction for all the things I didn't let myself see.

I wish i could still be their
Under your breath at 5 in the morning
Waiting for you to speak your last words
For the night before we both fade away
Until you move in the night like someone
Who doesn't want to be seen, awaiting
Judgement on something he knows he did wrong.
How subtle your moves were to try not to rock me off
The crescent moon we slept on together
With a view that could only be imagined.
It's a shame I can't remember dreams anymore.

How vibrant they were holding onto you
Hinting to what I wish I could see.
Like a film watched on crowded seats
Fiddling with my eraser heads to make what I always forgot to see
fail to ever reappear in wondering thoughts
or glimpses
of the past.
I never liked history.
But if you would have just kept your foot on my heel when
I was about to take a step, you could have saved
the torn apart feet which now walks alone
in our once synchronized steps.

Let me write a song
To tell you how I feel
Because I'm too afraid to show you
For you might not think its real
That I could ever think this way
Or let these monsters in
Buts its only a fair game,
I don't usually turn down sin.

I'd make it sound so sweet
Like how the sun and birds can meet
But that sound doesn't really show
All there actually is to know
Because the sound Im looking for, you can't hear at all
It not even music, it's just my head trying to stall
Maybe I don't actually want to show you
Cause it kind of scares me too,
That the way I feel right now
Has nothing to do with you

People don’t think it’s weird to
Sit in the sun even if they
Burn, but when the
Water starts to fall and
The rest go inside, Ill
Stay then to get 
Burnt, because I’m not 
Afraid of a flood

A winding path spirals into crumbling trees through the woods 
where every leaf covers a trap and every water drop fades
into the piercing air we gasp for to try to rid our lungs
of the black ink we always effortfully take in
as if we're drawing a picture we think will be seen
after a day of looking into a fire that never got warm 

With a machine for a heart, I quickly learned the privilege of an off switch.

There was no force strong enough
to rip down that space. No hurricane
fast enough to uncover the sanctuary
I often turned into my home on days
the rain wouldn't stop for hours.

It snowed 4 feet one year. That was the
most snow I'd ever seen at once. Through muck
and slush i trudged to the place my thoughts wandered to
when they weren't allowed inside. Almost like the light would
crave an entrance, to make my memories clearer.
It was even warmer in the snow.

Today I saw a leaf that looked so familiar.
Part of me wanted to cry but I remembered
that was the trees job. To weep with whomever
sat under it long enough to notice the faces
on the bark. I told dad not to cut it down
but I guess he'd never been to that
oasis