I have forgotten how this works
How people can form sentences
Of beauty, of magic
I'm not sure how to transform my words
And fill a blank paper with words
That gets heavy

The blank paper is much more beautiful
In some way I guess...
But the filled paper is worth much more
The filled paper is full of truth
Of honesty
Of guilt
Of pain
Of passion
Of heartache
Of bubbly feelings
Of sad mornings
Of terrible nights

All I can think about is you
I think I haven't written anything
Or to correct myself
I think that I haven't been able to write
Because I'm scared that it will turn out
To be another stupid poem about
Love

I don't need more of those
I'm fine
Thank you

i.
no matter what your teachers
may tell you, your grades are not a
measure of how smart you are, that
has more to do with how you handle your
heart, and i have never seen anyone love
more fiercely or smart than you.  

ii.
i have let boys touch me just because
i was scared to lose them; don't let them
lay a hand on you without you asking
them to, you are worth more than that.

iii.
people will walk away, but you've known
that already.  keep your chin up so that when
they turn back one last time, they know that
you don't need them.
you don't need them.

iv.
i hope you find somebody that holds your
hands, even when you're nervous and
they start to sweat.  if they pull away,
you come find me and i swear,
i won't let go.

The youth are scratching up their throats
with paper & tobacco smokes.

Pinpricking holes in the fleshy, lonely parts
of their abandoned souls.

Rolling nature into little papers and trying
to slow the pleasure.

Drowning their sorrows in sickly sweets borrowed
from their parents' liquor cabinets.

Candy pills and paper squares dissolving,
highlighting the bright, evolving.

We came of age, we trade in our dreams for smoke, bottles, powder, needles, hallucinations, vibrations and green.

We saw others crumble, dead or alive, it spit all of us out eventually.

For those who lived, it's sad to see our fallen brethren as we walk towards adult mediocrity.

Final Goodbye

No one cares if I live or die,
even friends can't look me in the eye,
don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Nobody left to trust,
living in total disgust,
winds are beginning to gust.
No god, no devil, no heaven, no hell,
on that, I never dwell,
all I can say is, oh well.
Not worth even living,
never taking, always giving,
six feet under, I'm digging.
Goals and dreams, I'll never achieve,
we all practice to deceive,
life makes me want to heave.
I will never have any money,
don't laugh, it's not funny,
always dark, never sunny.
Just wishing I was dead,
one bullet to the head,
my whole life, I've been mislead.
I'm just living on borrowed time,
up hill, I'll always climb,
feeling like a piece of slime.
As I await my final breath,
all I do is beg for death,
all I wanted was some respect.
I will now say my last goodbye,
I don't need to explain why,
I gave living my best try.

I wish to feel the warmth I see in pictures.
bright sunny sunshine beats down on two.
they must be in love, well, at least they look it.
Why don't I get to feel that?
Don't I deserve to find someone?
to not feel so alone?

There once was a squirrel named Nutty
Who was looking for a little buddy
But Nutty was alone
So he burned down his home
With himself inside of it

Too afraid to be creative
Because I know it wont end nicely
people will get upset if you don't
say what they want precisely
and I like my little molds
of phrases that are rhymey
its easy just to talk about popular things
without feeling oh so slimy
just be vague, no taking sides
unless there's an obvious winner
then log off without thinking twice
and try to choke down your dinner.

She reads
                                          And she sleeps
                                                      Way too much
                                                            ­           It's her coping defence
                                                                ­               When nothing else will suffice
                                                         ­               She needs to get away
                                                       Without actually leaving
                                             Because she's too scared
                                   And too tired
                                            To leave her bed
                                                      So she cracks open a book
                                                            ­     To escape somewhere far away
                                                            ­             And she'll sob for the characters
                                                      ­                       Whose brokenness resembles hers
                                                            ­                                   And then she'll sleep
                                                           ­                                   And have sweet dreams
                                                          ­              Of realities that are not her own
                                                       Because pretending is so much easier
                                                 Than facing reality
                             So she'll sleep and dream
          And secretly wish she won't wake up
So she can finally escape