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Dánï Dec 2013
It's not all about* your appearance,
Which you're wrong for thinking is worth a store's clearance.
It's about your soft heart,
and how we can't be apart.

It's not all about your heartless facade,
Which makes your sweet moments all the more appreciated.
It's about your presence lighting up my day,
and how you've managed to stay.

It's not all about the promises we made,
Which are hard to keep when you say the things you say.
It's about your way with words
and how you strum my chords.

It's not all about how without you I'd feel a vacancy,
Which just the mere thought leaves me antsy.
It's about our pulling through,
and how our love is true.
-d.***
Dánï Mar 2014
I can't trust anyone, no matter how hard I try,
Not even if you swore on your life, not even if I saw you cry.

I'm incurable, I'm damaged,
Don't go for me, please, save yourself from my baggage.

I'm so cold hearted, you don't even know,
It's just that I'm great at hiding it, I like to put on a show.

I'm stubborn- very hard headed,
I'd advise you to forget me- not fret it.

The thought of being with someone is comforting- finding something true,
But that's where you go wrong, that's when people take
advantage* of you.
-d.***
Dánï Apr 2014
I find myself dreaming while I'm awake, dying while I'm living.
I think of you and the softness of your skin, but how hard it was to the touch when you wanted it to be.
How every word uttered from your lips caressed me so painfully I trembled at any and every sound you'd make.
Your eyes, they'd go on forever, I could never look away, lost in your labyrinth.

You had me where you wanted me, you knew this, too.
You say jump and I ask how high?
You say run and I ask how fast?
You say fall and I don't even plan on you to catch me.

See, it's a one way street with you.
You take and take and never give,
I'm so desperate for you.
You keep me on my toes and that's what makes me stay. You don't let me sit idle, no grapes being handed to me, no fannings by large, green leaves.
You hurt and destroy endlessly... yet somehow that kindles a fire in me.

I'm ready to give you all of me.
I'm so ready for you to do the same.

In the moment, I know that's asking for way past what you're willing to give. But, hear me out, I was just like you, until a me came along- you.

I know you care but don't know how to show it.
I know you love but don't know how to express it.
I know it hurts not knowing, but there's nothing else for people like us.
We sit in oblivion and foolishly think we got it all under control.

That's another reason why I stay, because you're me and I'm you, and
I've never felt so close to us.

*A star and a comet, can't figure out who's who.
-d.***
Dánï May 2014
I can't wait to lay my eyes on you,
For my hands to hold you.

For your tight grip on my one finger,
For your barely opened eyes to be filled with wonder.

For my breath to catch with yours,
For your heart to beat steady in my arms, you're already adored.

I'm going to protect you and be your savior,
*You're my baby girl.
dedicated to my niece

-d.***
Dánï Mar 2014
Back when* life wasn't such a burden,
when sharpeners and cheap razors were solely used for their intended purposes.

Back when kitchen knives were only used to help dig in,
when scissors cut paper, not your skin.

Back when you're life wasn't wearing down as attenuated,
when broken glass was a mess to clean up, not create.

Back when ropes were only thought of to jump,
when your thoughts never strayed dark enough.

Back when you were too naive to see the world for what it is,
when not everything triggered a need for such a thrill.

Back when** you didn't need to test out if you bled,
when you didn't wish you were left for dead.
-d.***
Dánï Jul 2014
You deserve the world on a broken platter,
You deserve to be fed with a wooden spoon.
I'm not at all bitter,
I just don't coincide with being played for a fool.
-d.***
Dánï Jun 2014
Although I missed you, I didn't miss the yells
And all the times you made me feel unwell;
Whether it was physical or emotional,
Your love was harsh and you made it seem personal.

Your huge hands to hold me, you used to hurt me.
Your warm smile you used to spit fire.
Those hazel eyes were made to captivate me,
And they did just that, in a prison cell was where I resided, forcefully.
Your loud, beautiful laugh was used mockingly,
And the way your words flowed showed me who I was, accidentally.
Your big, warm heart was charred- it beat quietly,
and you passed on the black smoke, unintentionally.
It filled up my mind, my lungs,
And with every breath I took I became even more numb.


Maybe this is why I look for you in every man,
It's all I've ever known.
And although it wasn't the most ideal plan,
Black was the only color I was ever shown.
-d.***
Dánï Apr 2014
I'm disgusted* by how you plaster on smiles,
By how you laugh too hard and too much to keep the tears at bay.
By how you can walk on for miles and miles,
Alone or in a crowd, with not a word to say.

I'm disgusted by how you're strong for others,
But weak for yourself.
By how you look in every man a father or a brother,
Some sort of safety in a lover, whom you leave without so much as a farewell.

I'm disgusted by how you can wake up one day and no longer care,
By how you leave hearts as shattered and as broken as yours.
By how you ask yourself why life isn't fair,
While you play and play until you get bored.

I'm disgusted by how you hate pain,
But take to your skin at any given chance.
By how you look for something or someone to blame,
Knowing good and well you're the reason for your own constant relapse.

I want to change how I look at myself,
But the image couldn't be any clearer.
These thoughts manifest themselves,
*I'm disgusted by what I see in the mirror.
-d.***
Dánï May 2014
They come and they take you out,
They show you love and what it's seemingly all about.

It's what you've been looking *for,

Your shattered heart is picked up from the floor.
Still, day by day they take a piece of you away,
You don't notice, but, regardless you have no say.
You grow older and wiser,
Yet, also become smaller and blinder.
Love and hatred intertwine,
In love you see hate, in hate you see love- all overtime.


*
They go and they leave you out,
And you're left even more broken and alone than before, no doubt.
-d.***
Dánï Nov 2013
I want to have someone who;
Likes to count the stars and start over when they lose their place,
Is fascinated with the moon and everything to do with outer space.

I want to have someone who;
Is infatuated with my dull eyes and crooked smile,
Won't mind my clumsiness and will stay a while.

I want to have someone who;
Will read big books and watch long movies with me,
Notices the extraordinary in all that I see.

I want to have someone who;
Knows how to stimulate all my senses,
Can see my big picture without any lenses.

I want to have someone who;
Isn't difficult- simple,
Isn't crazy.. but just by a little.

I want to have someone who;
Doesn't mind my far from attractive moments,
Thinks my corny jokes are golden.

I want to have someone who;
Gives me absolute bliss,
Can heal all my wounds with one simple kiss.

I want to have someone who;
Holds on tight and won't give up on me,
Doesn't pay mind to any "let me be".

I want to have someone who;
Hears me even when I don't speak,
Kisses my forehead, nose and cheek.

I want to have someone who;
Tells me when I am wrong,
Argues with me while we simultaneously get along.

I want to have someone who;
Doesn't like bonfires so they make s'mores in the kitchen,
Tells all stories- except fiction.

I want to have someone who;
Has a bit of hate for the material,
Enjoys *
bread crust and soggy cereal.
-d.***
Dánï Oct 2013
I'm tired* of who you aim your glares at,
how your beautiful words are just spat.
I'm tired of living life in constant fear,
not hearing affectionate words; my dear.
I'm tired of always going back to you,
you have the power to make skies grey or blue.
I'm tired of how much you've scarred us,
you so recklessly lost my trust.
I'm tired of your pointless accusations,
you can make or break me with just one statement.
I'm tired of how you make yourself seem so caring,
but the next second your voice is blaring.
I'm tired of the way you process your thoughts,
and of all the times you so carelessly fought.
I'm tired of the games you play,
you have so much to speak but nothing to say.
I'm tired of being yours to manipulate,
you haven't made me truly happy as of late.
I'm tired of being shot at; Russian Roulette,
I can't be near you without becoming upset.
I'm exhausted by your broken promises and empty threats.
-d.***
Dánï Nov 2013
I find it a bit hypocritical that I talk about "feeling" all the time,
I'm as numb as they get,
The ones that say they're fine,
Because we don't know how to explain something we haven't acquired yet.

I can't love you or hate you,
I don't have it in me to feel extremes,
You won't have what you need when it's due,
I have a weird way of letting off steam.

I can listen, I can "sympathize",
I can make you feel good- it'll all seem true,
It's unnerving you'll soon realize,
*It's definitely me, not you.
-d.***
Dánï Apr 2014
You broke down the walls of this home,
Tore this safe haven to shreds.
How do you seek refuge in a war zone?
How'd you make coffins for the breathing out of beds?

You pushed without exceeding the limit,
You always recoiled just in time.
Told me I was your dearest,
That I was doing just fine.

How do you find strength,
In broken hearts and bones?
How can one wish for death,
When they've just gotten out the womb, barely grown?

Do you feel any remorse,
Any well earned regrets?
How do you touch and destroy a corpse,
Is it something you easily forget?

Not for me, though I wish.
You turned blossoms into buds, magically.
How do you not remember the one who took your bliss?
You left your imprint on me, traumatically.

Even now, I can't seem to hate you.
I've kept quite, don't want to make momma's skies dark blue.
Thought it could be something you outgrew,
You know, time heals all wounds.

But, is it really all wounds, no matter how deep, no matter how much they weigh?
Or is it just the ones effortlessly viewed, the ones on display?
-d.***
Dánï Nov 2013
I feel* very hopeless,
Completely worthless.

I feel the strength oozing out of me,
Pooling up on my bathroom
floor- staring up mockingly.

I feel the vibrations of your voice, loud and clear,
They always know where to hit me, just like a spear.

I feel as if I do not belong anywhere I go,
I'm a laughing sto
ck and guess who's the main attraction at this wicked show?

I feel my "loved ones" quickly drifting apart,
I was your roc
k but reality has crushed me down with a mighty start.

I feel the non believing eyes boring down,
None of you care as deeply as you claim, you'd rather I swallow my misery and hurriedly drown.

I feel you changing your mind about me,
I'm not the person you cleverly made me want to be.

I feel the stomps of your feet though I am thousands of miles far,
You make yourself believe you provided the necessary with a house and a car.

I feel the love I have for you slowly disintegrating,
It's funny how it's yo
ur world that is now changing.

I feel myself going crazy, completely insane,
and you're the only one who can carry that blame.

I feel** the way this is going to end,
So let me get the blade, my old friend.
-d.***
Dánï Mar 2014
I like to see the good in everyone,
I love to give but hate to receive, am I the only one?

I'd love to see everyone grinning,
Hm, that's probably wishful thinking.

I feel sorrow for every hurt soul,
Curse the one who turned you cold.

But, of course, you can't always tell,
Who went through or gave hell.

I think ultimately we all need help.
We all want to keep sane and not lose *ourselves.
be careful

-d.***
Dánï Dec 2013
I like to see the good in everyone,
I love to give but hate to receive, am I the only one?

I'd love to see everyone grinning,
Hmm, wishful thinking?

I feel sorrow for every hurt soul,
Curse the one who turned you cold.

But, of course, you can't always tell,
Who went through or gave *hell.
Never too careful

-d.***
Dánï Apr 2014
Caught sight of me,
Sprinted towards me at full speed.
Left me disoriented at impact,
You knew, for you, I was the perfect catch.

Pretented to mend me,
While feeding me poison ever so sweetly.
Lifted me up and set me firmly
On a chair cemented to the ground- you were all I could see.

Every now and then
You illuminated my world with false light.
Your stone cold hands caressed me,
Created a fire only you could ignite.

Through time I grew accustomed,
With time came wisdom.
I was able to finally open my eyes, finally got my freedom.

It was unmistakeable, your malice,
I saw through you like *cheap sunglasses.
-d.***
Dánï Dec 2014
I heard overtime our body disposes of cells and develops new ones, how sublime.
My body last year isn't what it is now, and certainly not what it was when I was nine.
I guess scientifically you've never touched me.
You've never gripped my face in between your forefinger and thumb, never put your mouth, your thin upper lip and full bottom lip on my tightly closed one.
Apparently I was never forced to see.

See, I was too numb, too motionless to fight back and eventually turned emotionless.
Cause and affect

Never felt you push yourself on me or you openly inviting my hand to explore.
Never felt the dread I felt when you told me I was adored.
Never grazed my ear with your fingers as you pushed my hair back, telling me I was beautiful no matter how hard I tried not be, that in a sea full of girls there was no one else like me.
That out of all of them I was different, I was special, I couldn't be cloned.
I had a heart made of gold that wouldn't hurt anyone even if told.
I never had to feel your breath on my cheek or neck as you asked if I loved you, as you asked if I was alright. That if something was wrong I could go to you with no hesitation and like always you pried and I lied.

Maybe that's why I never believe anyone that has a mouth or fingers or eyes, just like you did, just like yours. I don't trust anyone that can form beautiful words, can't let them have the ability to make them retch worthy, too much at stake to let another one of your kind hurt me.
Cause and affect

I never felt a maleficent, fine blade on my own skin, slicing away the words I could never begin.
I never felt hot tears on my chin, dripping down into the deep pool made of a deep red. Making a color I'll never forget, nor perfect ever again.

I love that a part of me will forever be on that tile, on that floor. Because the whole of me has been long gone, just like my (hopefully soon) soul.

Yet, I'm still her, and she'll forever be me, that poor little nine year old girl that had to endure it all until she was pubescent, and then as if that wasn't enough, sickly got tortured and scarred some more while growing into a poor excuse of an adolescent- a traumitized, terrorized *adolescent.
-d.***
Dánï Feb 2014
Nothing I do seems right,
Sincere actions getting no avail.
The more I seek, the more it's out of sight,
Trust gets you nowhere.

How do you stand tall,
On crumbling grounds?
This effect of the snowball,
Is slowly wearing me out.

How do you keep a clear mind,
With a head full of steam?
The more I try, the more I find,
It all isn't what it seems.

How do you keep hope,
When you're continuously knocked down?
In a faithless home,
You're never safe and sound.

It gets closer and closer, such an appealing cliff,
All that's pulling me back are the countless *what if's.
-d.***
Dánï Feb 2019
Depression isn’t just having bad days, it’s having good days with a bad state of mind.
It’s having days where you seek and seek but you cannot find.

It’s wilted flowers and bright sunshine,
It’s a straight path with jagged lines.

It’s a turn signal that has 3 lefts and 2 rights.
It’s seeing a bird with clipped wings in flight.

It’s confusion when there should be clarity,
It’s the betrayal you feel when everyone seems to lack sincerity.

It’s a smile that reaches all places but the heart,
It’s knowing where you want to finish but not knowing where to start.
Dánï Jun 2014
I want to cut.

I want to cut through all the saddness and lies,
I want to end this anger and these teary eyes.

I want to cut my broken self even more,
I want to become a piling mishap on the floor.

I want to cut away the negativity- the rotten limbs.
I want to remove the excess burden that has grown on me and has left me on a pathetic whim.

I want to cut my feelings off, indefinitely.
I want to end my emotions once and for all, deliberately.
-d.***
Dánï Feb 2014
I think I've found the one,
But how many times have I said that before?
Maybe you'll stay, maybe I will, who knows?
Only the warmth spreading in this stone cold heart is for sure.

You help me by not helping me,
Make me laugh with no effort.
Your voice is constantly replaying in my head,
I think I'm falling- long story short.

You mean the world to me,
Plus a couple of stars.
Add Uranus because I want to be bangin that asap,
Sorry.. I went too far.

Regardless, I'm feeling you on a whole new level,
I'm pretty lucky- ****.
Letting you know I want to stay lucky for a couple of while's,
No pressure, at least for now I *am.
-d.a

The random weird things draw me closer like if I was an asteroid and you were earth and had that magnetic pull - "You"
Dánï Apr 2014
Deadened* eyes and sugary lies,

We spill our guts and plan our demise.
From these withered roots we rise,
Count your breaths and swallow the sighs.

Lie awake and hope to die
,
Never let them hear you cry
.
Swallow the fear and say goodbye,
Whisper to the starry sky.

Like soft strokes of a lover’s hand
,
The wind carries voices of the ******.
Drained and weary they demand
,
To return to the warm embrace of land.

No more can we see the sun,
In the clouds and mist we run
.
Regret, there is but one
,
*That they had put down the gun.
http://squidgy-love.tumblr.com/post/83586928865/concealed
Dánï Dec 2014
Feeling a heart (break) I don't have,
I'm soft skinned yet thick skinned, don't let it confuse you.
Emotionless, careless but extremely pensive,
I've encountered all shades of blue.

I'm a strong non-believer of chance,
I've had countless of calculated mishaps,
Wish I had my memory on infinite photographs,
Could've evaded so much nerve damage, perhaps.

Numb and restless,
My body is filled with a void.
The emptiness is something I detest,
Along with being toyed.

I thought my non-existent emotions couldn't be voiced,
It's been the cause of why so many opportunities have been soiled.
So many moments unexpressed,
So many feelings repressed.

I don't believe pure happiness exists in this life,
But I've been content lately.
Oh how many conversations went on in strife,
because I was too confused on how to accept my reality.

How many times I fought for love I didn't believe in,
how many times I pushed out a hate I didn't have within.
Believe in the good and the bad, too.
Believe in monogamy and one meant for two and-

Vice versa.
I believe in opposites and in similarities,
I believe in exacts and uncertainties.
I believe in the truth being a lie,
I believe in hello's but am more prone to goodbye's.

It's not my fault I have a big heart but am heartless,
It's not how I intended to be,
I have an immense amount of regrets,
All of them made of satisfactions I wasn't able to see.
-d.***
Dánï Apr 2014
Being crazy is knowing something but thinking another.

Knowing it's impossible to count the stars in the night sky,
Knowing I can't fly,
But thinking I can and I will.

Knowing I can't stop wanting you,
Knowing you won't ever want me like I do,
But thinking we can and we will.

Knowing nothing lasts forever,
Knowing this won't get better,
But thinking it can and it will.

Sometimes crazy is the only reason I'm sane,
I'm just looking for the sunshine that follows the *rain.
-d.***
Dánï Jan 2015
Don’t** run along the bend,
Go down the road you cannot mend.
Don’t stop until you see the river form,
It's a sight that's sure to make you quiver even more.
-d.***
Dánï Jan 2015
do not stand on unstable ground,
do not lean against a crumbling wall.
do not so much as look at a petal-less flower,
no, do not depend on me at all.
-d.***
Dánï Mar 2014
I lay here hoping you'll stop by,
Kiss some life into me, please just try.

I want to feel your lips on the dents of my skin,
Lead me away from the state I am in.

Tell me it will all be alright,
Even if it's a lie, please don't cringe away from what's in your sight.

Don't let me slip and fall,
Don't let me build up more walls.

I've lost too much blood, I've lost too much love,
I'm counting on you to lift me above.
-d.***
Dánï Dec 2013
It's sad that as we grow up the brightness in our eyes dims,
Our faith and hope gradually slim.

The stars disappear, they aren't as bright,
It all becomes opaque, the caliginous night.

Our voices get softer, our fear louder,
We prefer to be lonesome, oh we're such downers.

The last of our emotions drip out, the color in our skin drains out,
You don't hear not a sound out of us, though trust me, we want to scream and shout.

Our hearts expand but get quieter,
Filled with sorrow- heavy yet at the same time lighter.

We become so very lost,
We yearn for happiness, though we all know it'll cost.

Can't help but feel scared, paranoid,
We'll do anything to help fill the void.

We feel an emptiness in us- start missing nothing,
We want to learn how to trust, give us something..

It's sad that as we grow up the brightness in our eyes dims,
Our faith and hope gradually slim.
-d.***
Dánï May 2014
Floating, well trying to.
Sinking then lifting up
with clouds, right by you.
Nothing has ever described us as much.

This pool with its endless rivers,
Endless drops to infinity.
Temperature that keeps me warm but at the same time sends me shivers,
Your heated stare makes me cold, there's so much intensity.

Less is more or is more less? I feel like it's more about quality.

Half empty, half full cups,
Wantng you has a plus.
But then you hose me down to my inner crust,
Leaving nothing but rippling dust.

Trying to stand in angry waters,
Trying to swim against raging currents.
I've been through such horrors
that needing to be saved- by you-
is fervent.

Nothing makes it easy,
Neither boats or boards, they're too flimsy for me.
If you could just try to- and I ask beggingly-
throw me a life line by loving me deeply.

I'll glide to you happily,
That'll be a sight, you'll see.
-d.***
Dánï Dec 2013
I'd like to distract your thoughts,
Caress you, make you feel nice and hot.

For my own pleasure,
And maybe yours.

I'll feel good making you feel good,
Be very still, I'll set the mood.

Don't try to please me,
I'm numb, you'll see.

Worry not- you'll enjoy it,
The peak is in the heat of the moment.

Your senses are going crazy,
You're liking this, aren't you, baby?

You've become undone, you beg for more,
Sure.. there's always more to explore.

But, there are rules this time,
Fret not- you'll be fine.

Can't touch me, I can't stand it,
Keep eye contact, you'll soon be an addict.

The friction is building, your sweat is visible,
Wish it was more than just physical- I'm unforgivable.

You reach the top and come crashing down,
Only your erratic breathing, not another sound.

You want more of me- all of me,
But, there's not much to give, sadly.

You want to stay, you suggest to sleep on the floor,
Oh how silly, no honey, there's the door.
-d.***
Dánï May 2014
No one knows me, and I mean that wholeheartedly.

Any clue you think I let slip was thought about carefully.
Any sigh or smile was planned out perfectly.
My curt replies written out pensively.
My attitude delivered deliberately.
My laughs emitted purposely.
Any sign of being intrigued thought about timely.
The bounce in my step choreographed repetitively.
Any cry made Oscar-ly.
Any sign of hopelessness shown thoughtfully.

Whether my skies are gray or blue,
*You only connect the dots I give you.
-d.***
Dánï Jan 2015
To move things you have to have emotional muscle. You can't ask someone to love you and they don't have the emotional muscle to pick up your love.
Dr. Llaila Afrika
Dánï May 2014
An exploding head and a weak stomach,
Scattering thoughts and rising *****.

projected target

Painful movements and swollen eyes,
Achy limbs and teary sighs.

troubles minimized

A nose stuffed and a mouth open,
Sniffling lies and inhaling words unspoken.

lost emotion

Blurry sights and rancid smells,
Dizziness and it overwhelms.

empowered senses

Broken fingers and repaired walls.
Rough touches.. what seemed true was actually false.

*there are plenty of faults
-d.***
Dánï Dec 2013
This fear... I grew up with It,
It isn't a newcomer, I'm sure of it.

Have you ever encountered It?
Forced to play dress up and smile with It?

Take it by the hand and walk with It?
Making sure no one ever saw it was really It?

All in my head, there was It,
Giving me night terrors, happy was It.

Depression and anxiety were the cousins of It,
They came in the package along with other Its.

People loved It, manipulative was It,
No one ever suspected, proud was It.

Put on your facade, It wants to play;
It is going to be with you, night and day,
You can't get rid of It, you have no say.
It comes in all shapes & sizes

-d.***
Dánï Feb 2014
How does it feel to lose yourself,
To feel yourself oozing through your pores and pouring into a shell?

These restless nights are deviously common,
My eyes have gone dry, no more bawling.

I lay here and wonder how did I miss the dead end,
Why did I sprint so purposely with no message to send?

These days you feel ashamed of the right, proud of the wrong.
My thoughts race, there's no time to process them,
I don't think they belong..

I swear I try my hardest to make you all proud,
I gave up, it's hard when you feel all alone in a crowd.

These people don't deserve me, you, us.
You and I confide in them and they ruin our non-resilient trust.

When you're alone, who's there to disappointment and vice versa?
Who's there to make you feel small and destroy ya?
No one

-d.***
Dánï Apr 2014
I believe in certain forevers.

I believe in goodbyes that render tremors,
In sad moments and blue weather.
That lasts forever.

I believe in pain with no measure,
In aching and breaking that doesn't get better.
That lasts forever.

I believe in tears and quivers,
In curling up with an empty feeling that festers.
That lasts forever.

I believe in certain forevers,
But never the ones that cause pleasure.
-d.***
Dánï Apr 2014
Cover up the emptiness,
they won't look in the light.
Make them feel the bitterness,
know that they won't fight.

Never keep your promises,
watch them while they bleed.
The only truth ever told to them is,
they're not the only ones in need.

Crush the shallow dreams they make,
burn the frigid world they believe.
So now they are at last awake,
to look into the souls they deceive.

Tentatively they reach out a hand,
to try to mend what they have broken.
Unable to save those already ******,
"sorry" being a word too readily spoken.

Have they learned the lessons taught,
or are they just pretending now?
These hearts are too often bought,
they hope to feel the love somehow.

Look away and see them smile,
they're showing what you wish to see.
The darkness has gone away for a while,
they'll let you live this *fantasy.
http://squidgy-love.tumblr.com/post/83997495081/for-now
Dánï Jun 2013
When nothing is right,
When you fall because you are too scared of the height.
When wrong thinks you are bait,
When the people you need become people you hate.
When he holds you too close for comfort,
When you try to be strong though you are hurt.
When you are forced to care,
When daddy isn't there.
When you feel all ******* & bound;
When your heart just pounds and pounds,
When the tears come streaming down.
When mommy is too scarred to be rational,
When you wish you were supernatural .
When the chalk becomes a sword,
When your body becomes the board.
When your thoughts are spacebound,
When your voice is never loud.
When you are just a toy on a shelf,
You can't help but want to free yourself.
-d.***
Dánï Apr 2014
We all have it in us, that gene to ****,
How if given the chance, we'd fight for our life.
Pretend to not be capable but, surprisingly, become very strong willed,
We'd do the most horrendous crimes out of desperation and strife.

It's a gene I wish to not have because,

I find it kind of funny, kind of melancholic,
How being a survivor is beautified.
I'm sorry, but I find no logic,
In fighting to live, while living to *die.
-d.***
Dánï Jul 2014
What are you doing in your life,
Besides what you think is right?
Going under with the main stream downtown,
Forgetting you could be glowing and you can't drown.

Your mind is bigger than your years,
Broader than the galaxies.
And with ease you surpass all of your peers,
Despite the many different mentalities.

Don't limit yourself to an island,
Go to 196 countries.
Let your horizon widen,
You have that potent will, guaranteed.

The smoke,
That you claim clears up your mind,
Clouds your vision and makes your goals broke,
Forcing you to think you properly invested your time.

You have a unique rhythm, no question,
You're not ordinary, you're much more.
I know you're not the same, this is just a phase.
Close the pages and open some doors.

See what's real, set yourself on it- it's all achievable when you clear up the
*haze.
Dánï Dec 2014
Too much of everything is sometimes just that- too much.
When you're at your lowest you get closer to the high yet think you'll never be high again.
And when you're at your highest sometimes the air gets thick and no breath is let in.

The lows are so painful, so dark and so fearing. You see no way out and your open sky develops a ceiling. You're surrounded by smooth walls, no place to help you grip your way up,
and when the top seems too far you start to look at things through a half empty cup.

The cup being smudged with finger print stains doesn't help, you see all your efforts gone to waste and lose faith in yourself. The water at the bottom blows everything out of proportion, and your failures are brought to sight in a new light, your hopes and dreams start to seem foreign. We think the world is cruel and whoever allowed it is, too. Why are things the way they are, why do we deserve such horrible things, why can we be scarred? Why aren't things perfect, I'd be so happy if things were perfect, if I didn't care about anything and no harm was felt. If no one was possessed by something so evil, if mutual respect was a given and acceptance was pressed. If only there was no one to be against or no one against us, no one to feel threatened by or depressed. If all things good were mandatory, obligatory and all things bad were kept in fictional stories. Horrors and terrors was only experienced in movies while bliss and happiness was all that was permitted.
But on the ground you feel close to what's high, so close yet at the same time so far. One feeling helps supply our faith and the other nullifies it. It's a turmoil we need to purify and the thought of the high gives of hope of it being beautified.

There are two sides to everything

Being high is the best and when we are we feel so passed blessed, we feel chosen. we feel we have a message to profess and manifest, it's a feeling that cannot be ever suppressed nor fully expressed. We're at our peak and no thing seams bleak. We might weep but it's out of happiness, and we might feel stressed to get rid of anything we detest, no matter how little.

We find the urge to get rid of all things that have or could bent and dent us. All things that have sent us to the depths we were at once..
When we're high sometimes we feel a superiority, we feel the need to direct whatever happens next. The feel to control is what needs to be assessed and corrected, it needs to be addressed and made ***** before it's possessed and infected with something not able to be mended. We start to get seemingly positive outcomes by using negatives, and that wasn't what was meant.. We get too high and don't notice how wet the ground is, and in our state of mind it's easy to slip and get wrecked. We get too high to remember what it's like down when we were swept off our feet and made to kneel. We get high enough to scoff at the fuss and to dismiss the idea to discuss our situation, our foreseeable yet unfathomable stump. We're too high to think we can be stumped, and when it happens to us we'll feel as if thought it has been dumped on us. We'll cry saying it isn't fair and though things might seem beyond repair we'll say we don't have a care because we still have that residue high, we still have that feeling of superiority and think nothing can go wrong anymore. The high helps yet it is suffocating, it can be put up to debate but the truth is we can't await for history to repeat itself. We can't let people imitate the wrong we need to educate and indicate them to where the facts have proven to be right. No need to obligate- a sound mind will always correlate and initiate collaboration.

We need balance and we need guidance, we need help and we need to learn how to seek it. Sometimes we'll find it in things we can and can't see, regardless, by doing so we might finally find inner and outer peace.
-d.***
Dánï Nov 2018
i can't shake this weight off,
i can’t take this heavy load.
i can’t breathe, i feel lost.
i can’t do this alone.

i take two steps forward,
and twenty back.
i'm stuck in this corner,
and the walls are closing in fast.

how much longer until i learn to keep people around?
how much longer until someone notices?
how much longer until i give out?
how much longer until my family is getting condolences?
Dánï Apr 2014
I know we put on a show,
Trust me, I know.

I know* it's hard,
I know people like us don't have it easy.
But it's effortless to pick up a shard,
And mutilate ourselves until looking in the mirror makes us queasy.

I know we can't talk even if we wanted to,
I know our emotions aren't always crystal clear.
But if it's one thing we want and so desperately pursue,
Is to be able to utter an "I'm okay" and for it to be completely sincere.

I know we can't trust,
I know it's been broken so many times.
But we've wrongfully learned to adjust,
To someone who isn't worth it, to someone who just hurts and lies.

I know what it's like to need and not get,
I know what it's like to be told "just forget".
But they don't know what we've been through,
They don't know all we've had to endure.

I know ending it seems unquestionable and inevitable,
I know the pain seems irrevocable and inequitable.
But I just want you to know that I'm here,
And it's hard to speak but I'm all ears.

*
I know we put on a show,
Trust me, I know.
please don't hesitate to talk to me, I'm just a click away

-d.***
Dánï Dec 2013
There's nothing I've wanted more than the ability to forget.
I've tried but I haven't been able to master it, yet.

I can't forget your scorching touch,
You left scars, more than enough.

You were trying to mask your impotence,
I should've shown more than just indifference.

Tell me did you understand what you were doing, did you notice my change?
Must of since you'd repeatedly ask "Why are you acting so strange?"

I never admitted, never told a soul,
I never seeked help- I turned numb, bitter cold.

Tried to convince myself I was strong, stronger than you.
I was completely wrong, you knew this, too.

You hold so much sovereignty over me,
I still cannot comprehend how this can be.

You knew who'd keep quiet, you knew which prey to choose,
You're so clever, made sure you'd never lose.

Do you know how indefinitely f'cked up I am now?
Are you happy? Are you proud? Do you want to take a bow?

Your time is ending, your death is near,
You'll be gone, yet I'll always have so much to fear..
-d.***
Dánï Apr 2014
An injured arm,
A broken heart,
I meant no harm,
Still I got torn apart.

Blank eyes,
Crazy thoughts,
Can't set them aside,
In this tangled web I'm caught.

I hurt,
You try.
I've been cursed,
I don't know why.

I need a friend,
I need to be held.
It'll soon end,
There's no *help.
-d.***
Dánï Jun 2014
Can't help but laugh at some people,
Their speech goes a little like this;
I won't leave you,
You're the one, I would never dream of saying goodbye.
I'll love you forever, please believe me, I speak no lie.


The funny thing is I have no doubt,
I don't doubt it one bit.
That's not my worst nightmare, that's not what it's about.
See, I can control gaining feelings, but I can't control losing them, a transition so quick
It gave me whip lash,
And just like when you're about to die,
Our memories flash
Right before my eyes, away they dive
Out of my reach,
Out of my heart,
The strong suction they had no longer like a leach-
*One brand new grand scar.
-d.***
Dánï Dec 2014
I have to learn how to do what I want, how to not care about the careless.
How to not pity the ones that destroy homes and make the least seem best.
How they ruin a world you thought was yours, a world you thought you had conquered but since then has been torched.
How they turn life into a cold, dark, bitter thing, a thing you think you can throw away with no consequence.
How can they turn something so grand into something so ominous?

How can I care about something that does more harm than good?
I want to learn how to spoil myself with soul food.
I want to be good, do good and spread the good,
I want to help the poor evil become someone congenial.
I want to do unto others what I want to to be done unto myself.
I want to be rich with an untouchable and unseeable wealth.
-d.***
Dánï May 2014
I wonder what I'll be reminisced as, and no I'm not trying to sound cliché.
I want to know what'll pop into people's minds, when they hear my name.

Will I even be remembered? Will I leave an impact?
Was my kindness unmeasured? Or were my feelings too detached?

Did I destroy? Were your expectations of me surpassed?
Did I bring sorrow or joy? Did I leave people perfectly intact?

Did I make people go crazy good or crazy bad?
Was I anyone's perfect match?

Did I make people smile? Did I make people laugh?
Did I make the time they spent with me worth the while? Did I make them forget their troubles as the seconds passed?

Was my love strong and powerful?
Or was my heart pitifully poor?

Did I hurt? Did I stab?
Did I make anyone's vision blurred? Did I lead on until they became overly attached?

When my death arrives, will there be shattering heartaches?
Or will there be already broken people rejoicing at my fate?
-d.***
Dánï Jun 2014
Out of all the things I've said and done,

The scars on my arm are the deepest ones.

I'm pouring out the sorrow,

And letting the grief run.

But, some day it will flow no more,

And like a druggie on an overdose,

I'll be half sitting, half laying with a deadly weapon in one hand,

And my life on the floor-

My time oozing to a stand.
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