Have you ever been in so much pain that you can't stop fighting because the second you give in to the pain the whole world closes around you and it's terrifying so no matter what you do you keep fighting you have to keep pushing through always and it feels like that's all you can do it feels like you have to or you'll just parish away into nothing you feel like your alone in a crowed place because you know that you aren't the only one going through it but it certainly feels like you are and so you fight everything just to stay sane and keep it together but it feels like we're fighting a loosing battle so you fight even harder and its exhausting and it's a struggle and we live in this nonstop battle because that's the only way we've ever known and living without just isn't the same the pain becomes part of you a welcomed enemy if you will because at least pain is something real

She loved me
and I threw it away.

The holidays are here
and the cold has frosted my heart.

I see everybody falling in love
and I'm reminded of you.

How lonely I've become
and how bitter I feel.

I miss you.
I miss the very concept of you.

All my cocoa has long since been frozen
and my porch has long since been a slick sheet of ice.

I suppose that all I really want this year
is to be warm again.

Clouded mind
Yet empty space
Filled with thoughts
That stitch me up
When I'm torn apart

It keeps me breathing
It keeps me sane
It keeps me healing
It keeps the pain away

Lightning can't shock me
Wind can't ******* away
I will be happy
Not today
But one day