i saw you for the first time,
in a very long time,
yesterday evening.
you were sitting at your desk,
burying your nose in paperwork,
rushing to get it done.
you looked so tired,
you looked so frail.
if i were to touch you,
you would have crumpled over.
you once told me that,
you'd never be the person
stuck behind a desk for hours,
being apart of something
that you never wanted to do.
you always told me you'd be free,
that'd you be creative,
and joyful.
but the tables turned,
and you were forced to apply
for a job you didn't want,
that you didn't enjoy.
and the happiness is drained from your face.
and there in no life in your eyes.
and when you looked up,
you hardly recognized me.
a dazed and confused girl,
lost in this filthy horror show.

9:51am Sunday, May 5th, 2013
I wake up to the sound of rain.
With my eyes closed I listen to it drum against my window,
And I listen to his steady breaths.
With my head on his chest I can feel his heart beat,
And I feel his hand on my bare back.
And in this moment, this perfect contentment,
I know that I love him.
And in this moment, this pure and quiet joy,
I feel as though I'll never be alone.

8:05am Tuesday, October 8th, 2013
I wake up to the sound of rain.
With my eyes still closed, I listen to it drum against my window.
And I swear I can almost hear him breathing,
Can almost feel his heart beat,
And his fantom hand on my bare back.
And I cling to the memory of this moment,
Trying desperately to delay the pain.
And I brace myself for the moment,
When I will wake up alone.

This poem got up and wrote itself
While I was fast asleep
This poem soon enough found out
It had no need for me

Guess it felt it needed to get
A few things off its chest
Wandering around the halls of poetry
While I was snoring in my bed

This poem made its planned escape
From the clutches of my mind
With a basic need that it must feed
On the artistry of rhyme

Taking full advantage of
My unconsciousness
As I lay here dreaming
In my nightly world of bliss

Yes, this poem wrote itself
Without the benefit of me
Proving it can do a better job
When I am sound asleep