Not everything is life or death
I hear it, but I don’t believe it
For me, it has been
Not living, surviving, scraping by
By my paper thin finger nails
I dug into you
It seems now
I dig my grave
To burry my grieving body
Of every sin she ever possessed
The smoke burns white
I am no saint
I fixed my eyes before me
The Isaiah crucifix ahead
I am not the first to burn
Pray I will be the last
Pray I am enough
Of an offering

When I split from this
I imagine being torn in half

Find me again
In the next lifetime

When I am pure
And we can keep our promises

I will love you then
As I adore you now

Like sweet dew
On morning grass

I am as I am
No greater no lesser
Part ghost
A one day angel
As the line before me thins
Into a gray and gold horizon
I am more gentle
I remember being weak
Hearing your voice call to me
When I was in the dark place
I climbed halfway up to heaven 
Only to turn around 
I was terrified 
Of the storms
More so 
Of the calm that would come after 
Are our souls so different now
Passing between worlds 
Or are we chasing stranger ghosts
Than the ones we name on earth

Tell me you can see it in my eyes
I cannot bare to ask for help
Yet I beg, big blue saucers to your moon
We will never say goodbye
It doesn’t make us any less separate

I am an old an ancient galaxy
Traverse me at the speed of light
Still you will only see me as I was
Never as I am
Who’s time is it now in the dark

God knew we would be sinners
He saw us turn our backs
Like it was our last day in the garden
Now we rage against him
It will not be our final war

You pour your anger out
Liquid fire spilling across your lips
Not what I imagined
When I asked for passion
When I prayed for peace

You must go
We are no good for each other
It isn’t safe here
We aren’t human anymore
We never were

I have lived things in my life
That are torture
For body, mind, and soul

I am off center today
Drifting from the middle
I wonder
What is wrong

Perhaps, more adequately
What was wrong
Is taking space in today

I am not a gentle healer
I am rage
I am anger against this fragile body
I am impatient
Against all the time it has taken
I have cursed my tongue
With my own words
For every time she was silent
Broken my skin against my bones
For when she was not strong enough

I am god-awful ugly
In-between all my attractions
That is the part I see
Seeping in-between the cracks

It is no matter
I am just matter
Does anything matter
Or is simply that thought taboo

I asked you
If you thought
You were capable of hurting me
You said you weighed 115lb
But a sliver of glass
Cannot weigh more than a few grams
Look what that can do
You are a shattered pane
That is all I feel
Your little slivers under my skin
You are not my mother
But I hear her in your voice
You have a mother's touch
It stings all to familiar
You broke the skin on my face
Open like a ripe peach
I suppose we are all capable of terrible things
But you burdened yours as love
Pressed it into my skin
And let me rot in silence

Eye contact with you
Is like a tractor beam
You keep pulling me in