Drinking oil
from mothers breast ******
Death- open 24/7
It's 3am
I can't get out of bed
and the women outside are tapping on my windowsill
Tapping on the back of my spine
“doctor doctor”
rummaging for tongue hieroglyphics
give me pills
I'm standing
saluting the dead like an Air Force Team
Deceased
Finito
Gone
Finished
Bye
forever in the sea by the sea for the sea
Time is a busted lip
on a Youth
Caught ******* in the Garden of Youth
Eden
Eden
Adam Adam Romeo Juliet
Writing symphonies on toilet seats
with
***** Lipstick hued blue
she must match her thong and bra
and hair and soul and painted toe nails and the mood of the night
Is always Blue
Like a blind man
washed away at sea
only to believe he was a boy again
in the Womb
And there is a taste of Salt
a taste of blood in the water
Coffee grains
shark Teeth
February love stories tied together to makeshift plastic hollywood driftwood explorer boats
I am Nobody
I have nothing
I have Poems
I have Books
And I lay in the desert
catching flies with my metallic tongue and Iron casted lips
as my Libido curves like a Rose in Winter
I am ******* the Devil
I  kissed Father Time's Wife
And sometimes at night
I sneak away
Climbing out of my Children Book Fairy Tale locked Bedroom Door locked by a fools gold bolt
And I walk to the Fountain of Youth, the Garden of Eden.
Untieing my shoes
like a woman does
with her hair

Scientists estimate that you will fall in love seven times before you get married.
That 50% of these marriages will end in divorce.
That lesbians get their sexuality from their fathers inability to maintain a platonic relationship with a woman, pram pushing into bedrooms whilst our mothers clean with wine stained pinafores and nicotine laced lips.
So when I sip seduction from your navel, when I unwrap you like the present at Christmas I never got, untieing the ribbon as I undo your jeans, just know, the only I do I will say is when you ask me if I think you look pretty.
I am chasing something that cannot be caught, something that has an expiry date before I can even co-create this thing called love.  
So forgive me if the only aisle I will see you up is the biscuit aisle, pulling the fabric of my non-wedding dress around my slipping tights,
forgive me if I trade in the sweat on your neck for the salt side of tequila as sometimes I like to use the wool from over my eyes to knit me telescope so I can look at the stars between your thighs, but no one ever tells you that when you wish upon a star, that star has surely died.  

Because I want to fall in and out of love 7 times.
Correction: I want to fall in and out of love with you 7 times.

I want to press you, not in a book, but against me. Imprint the lines of your finger tips on my ******* like maps of Alantis because I want to go places with you I never knew existed.
I want your nails engraved on my back like constellations of stars so I can always find my way back to now. To then.
The present. The past. That very moment where Greenwich meantime got it wrong.
Those seconds were longer than any before, and my life has been full of seconds. Second best. Second chances. Second love. The third the forth, the fifth the sixth but the 7th, the 7th time you tell me is no longer reserved for you.
You tell me the 7th time is for me to fall inexplicably, uncontrollably in love with myself.
So when I walk you up a different kind of aisle I can do it with you by my side.

You have had a hard day. You decide to go to the beach to relax.
When you get there you only feel worse because it's empty. It's cold and rainy. You start to think. You think about your boyfriend who wanted nothing but money and *** from you. You think about your best friend and how he molested you. You think about your brother and how he told you to **** yourself. You start to feel worse and worse. You don't know what to do. You try to distract yourself. You count the number of cinder blocks on the dock. You notice one is loose. You get and walk over to it. You try to pull it out. Its stuck. You wiggle it a bit more and it pulls out. It's heavy. You end up dropping it in the sand its so heavy. You think about how your life *****. You think about the kid at school who called you fat. Then you start to think more about how your brother told you to **** yourself. You think enough is enough. You pick up the cinder block and you walk to the end of the long dock. There is a short rope tied to the dock probably from a boat. You try to untie it. After untieing it for over twenty minutes you finally get it loose. Short but long enough to do the job. You tie one end to a cinder block but it falls off immediately. Then you try copying the knot you just untied. You pick it up and it stays. You put down the cinder block on the end of the dock. You take off your shoes and sit next to it. You let out a sigh. You take the other end of the scratchy rope and tie it around your ankle. You pick up the cinder block and put it on your lap. You start to get scared. Your breath is heavy. Your heart is racing. You stand up with the cinder block in your hands. You think this is it. You take a calming breath. The cinder block seems to feel lighter. You make the decision. You throw the cinder block with all your might and when you do you immediately feel regret. You realize this was not supposed to be your ending. When the block falls it jerks you toward the water breaking your ankle and scratches your back on the dock. When you crash into the water it is so cold it feels like a thousand tiny little knives. You scream on instinct only to realize no one can hear you. You ankle feels so swollen and full of pain. As you slowly drift to the bottom of the lake you scream and flail your arms trying to get to your ankle to untie it. You cant reach. Your almost out of breath. Your heart is racing. Everything hurts. You need to breathe so bad. You have no choice. You breathe in the water. It burns. It burns your nose. It burns your throat. It burns your lungs. Everything hurts worse and worse. You start to lose consciousness. Your vision is blurry. Everything burns. Everything hurts. Then the pain is gone for good.

You have had a hard day. You decide to go to the beach to relax.
When you get there you only feel worse because it's empty. It's cold and rainy. You start to think. You think about your boyfriend who wanted nothing but money and *** from you. You think about your best friend and how he molested you. You think about your brother and how he told you to **** yourself. You start to feel worse and worse. You don't know what to do. You try to distract yourself. You count the number of cinder blocks on the dock. You notice one is loose. You get and walk over to it. You try to pull it out. Its stuck. You wiggle it a bit more and it pulls out. It's heavy. You end up dropping it in the sand its so heavy. You think about how your life *****. You think about the kid at school who called you fat. Then you start to think more about how your brother told you to **** yourself. You think enough is enough. You pick up the cinder block and you walk to the end of the long dock. There is a short rope tied to the dock probably from a boat. You try to untie it. After untieing it for over twenty minutes you finally get it loose. Short but long enough to do the job. You tie one end to a cinder block but it falls off immediately. Then you try copying the knot you just untied. You pick it up and it stays. You put down the cinder block on the end of the dock. You take off your shoes and sit next to it. You let out a sigh. You take the other end of the scratchy rope and tie it around your ankle. You pick up the cinder block and put it on your lap. You start to get scared. Your breath is heavy. Your heart is racing. You stand up with the cinder block in your hands. You think this is it. You take a calming breath. The cinder block seems to feel lighter. You make the decision. You throw the cinder block with all your might and when you do you immediately feel regret. You realize this was not supposed to be your ending. When the block falls it jerks you toward the water breaking your ankle and scratches your back on the dock. When you crash into the water it is so cold it feels like a thousand tiny little knives. You scream on instinct only to realize no one can hear you. You ankle feels so swollen and full of pain. As you slowly drift to the bottom of the lake you scream and flail your arms trying to get to your ankle to untie it. You cant reach. Your almost out of breath. Your heart is racing. Everything hurts. You need to breathe so bad. You have no choice. You breathe in the water. It burns. It burns your nose. It burns your throat. It burns your lungs. Everything hurts worse and worse. You start to lose consciousness. Your vision is blurry. Everything burns. Everything hurts. Then the pain is gone for good.