Before I knew it, He had a dead locked grip
But the monster is breathing his last dying breath

It's pitiful I had to feel it to hate it
I saw him ******* our empire
He had his grip on my family tree
While I was a fetus
It happened near the time I was born
At 20 he eased his grip on my father
And it took me so, so long to realize that it was simply so
He could tighten his grip on me
I thought my mortal soul
Could handle a Real Killer Demon
All by myself
Yeah ******* right
I have to admit, I kept him at bay for longer than most
I just rode around on his back for the first years
When she left, I didn't stop buying her share
I just did twice as ******* much
And I thought I was way past rock bottom
280 milligrams
Still not where I wanna be          
I still got a bag full, though                 [keep going man, you got this]
But i loosened my grip on him                   - th' demon whispers-
I played dead for a while
I just had to put it down
I have to admit
The scars were painful
His hand really sticks, and believe me....
The longer he's got you, the harder it sticks
You gotta grow a backbone
And a set of big *****
                            To force out of his grip
Everybody around me is just trading drugs for other drugs
Like really
There is a ******* drug
that helps you to get off drugs
That is truly *******
Did you hear what I just said?
People actually think drugs...
Are gonna help you....
Get off drugs....
Cold Turkey is tride and true
The only bona-fide method
I did it, and I promise you can too
Ten days or so is worth the rest of your life, I promise....
Good thing I kicked in-between semesters
I would have never made it through class Detoxing
And I surely wouldn't have the top spot
That means no student of the month
Only questionable job prospects...
**** that
I really am gonna be the best of the best
I just can't settle for "At-Least" Livin'
The Pharmaceutical monster lost his grip a long time ago
Oxycontin is dead
But there's one loose end
I really gotta clear the fog
Epic change is among us
It was a great ride
But I have to say goodbye to you Mrs. Mary Jane   :(
I really do love you
I do
And yes I can still be great if you come along for the ride
But I can only be the best if I leave you here for a while
Goodbye my dear
We have had much fun
We might surely cross path later
You never know what direction the world will go
We'll just have to see
I really never thought I would see this day
But I have decided
That it has to be tonight
You have it here on paper
Finally nippin' it in the bud....
I gotta let you go, too Mary
Peace

I wasn't expecting any of this
I didn't plan to end up here
with you
We met in the new usual way
I never thought we'd come to this
I hoped and wished and even quietly prayed
that someday I could feel this way
It's been so long
since I could even think the words I long to say
But I'm Almost There

You just don't know what you do
all those time I just can't stop staring at you
Do you even notice that you take my breath away
While you keep my feet on the ground
I'm floating in mid air
Standing still; I'm dancing for joy
Tride and true I'm following you
You and I--
I can't even define
It's something powerful--
something divine
I'm Almost There

I play a part, scene by scene
day by day
You tear my mask from my face
The girl you see is full of grace
She has always been there under the surface
my walls come crashing down with your soft, feathery touch
Lying in your arms--
It's almost too much

I sing the same songs over and over again
It all becomes new
when you ask me to sing
Just for you

I feel it coming
Where we could go
What we could do
It all leads back to me and you
I'm Almost There

Waiting for you to show me the way to being yours
I want to know beyond all words
that it's more than true
I'm Almost There
I'm not afraid anymore
If you tell me I will not wait one minute more
I'm Almost There

Where are you?
Are you here with me?
Waiting for the moment to say what you feel
What you think beyond all question and all doubt
We are simply beautiful together
And together beautifully simple
It's that what it's all about?
I'm Almost There
I close my eyes--
The time is due
**I love you

My halo is forged of iron waste,
My eyes burn hot as embers haste,
My smile is turned ugly and tride,
My tongue feels bitter and cramped with pride,

My heart shoves cold blood through my veins,
Bitten by the frost of Hell,
My wings are made from bones of lost children,
Stitched together by the mothers that dwell,

My stomach is filled with acid so sweet,
My legs march, so graceful they fleet,
My feet char the ground, it crumbles,
My skin melts into it, to cease its grumbles,

My soul warps through the vacuum of pain,
I'm at his command, I'm centered, heartless,
My cold, blistered scythe ready, it has taken millions,
I stand with you, a true friend; the angel of darkness.

I see you as you're watching me
Catching every detail as you view so carefully.
Your eyes are glued to my every move as you observe so attentively.
Everything I do and say
you study it throughout the day.
You see Me when I cry
Even when you try not to pry.
When the tears begin fall and You're asking me, "WHY?
And mommy please don't lie.
There's something wrong and this you can't hide."
So this was my Reply,
"My life feels like a pigsty
no matter how hard I tried.
Times when to you I just try to advise and emphasize
not taking the time to understand how you feel inside.
That's why we didn't see Eye to eye and  I always ended up feeling like the bad guy.
Sweetie pie,
your behaviors I cannot justify
but there are Rules and regulations that we must abide by.
On me you must rely
No I don't have the answers to everything
But this much I can testify and bring
all I have is my heart and love as an offering.
I pray that You love me just as much as I love you.
There's so many things that I've gotten use to that you have seemed to outgrew.
There's things that I'd wish I could undo.
So many things I want to tell you.
Things we haven't even gotten to do.
Our love has been proven to be tride and true.
***, I Need a tissue
I think we just had a breakthrough.
Because the bond between you and I is better than Wi-Fi.
This much I can verify
That Mommy loves her little ones, all you littles wise guys.
I love being being a mother fervently
Because you guys bring out the best in me.
Personally,
I enjoy watching you watching me so
Observantly.

Right in the glimpse of summer in a excessively hot January, a sister was born.
4 years and a couple weeks early a bother was born.
They were bred into the complications of non-nobility, middle class income and the worst of all, unconditional love from the breders.

She was a mess but tried to be perfect. She tried to accomplish every goal and set herself standards that were impossible to achieve, but she tride. And failed. And wanted to die. But dying was failing.

He was a mess and wanted everyone to know. He'll punch a whole trough his door, call everyone names, sell ilegal substances and then try to fix it by saying he was sad and tried to justify everything. No one ever knew what his true intentions were, but she knew there was something hidden. Something he was not telling.

Their mom was perfect. She truly was and everything they ever wanted was to make her happy but them both seemed to fail. Miserably. But she loved them both more than words could yell into an ocean of failures.

But it was a curse. A curse for the sister that seeked perfection, aproval and a love that could be measure or worth of the effort she made. But everything she got was the same unconditional love, split in half. Not a tiny bit more.

And that was her curse. She had to live being disappointed at herself because she wanted to know why no one understood why she deserved more. Why couldn't she get more love than him? Why should they be equals when she's done better, brighter, smarter, accurate things that him?

She wanted to **** him. And maybe she should.

L ike a thief in the night ,
I t came.
F aint entry yet fierce intention.
E veryone is at stake.

I' m
S cared.

W eary from our woes we all share
A deep need for...
R escue.

L ook at your guns and ammunition.
I t' s all primitive.
F or what' s really out there
E ven the strongest calibre is no match.

I' m
S ad.

W hen will rescue come ?
A nd what will it bring ?
R ather , who will it leave ?

L ong is the battle.
I njured are many....uncountable.
F rightened we should all be because
E vacuation is not up to us.

I' m
S tuck.

W ade in the warfare.
A bide by it' s laws.
R each the end.

L and of the Living.
I 've heard stories of such a place.
F inding It is the mystery , yet
E xistence of such a place is the pursuit.

I' ll
S tride.

W e' re all in danger and desperate.
A bsolution is a gift.
R ealize and remember that gift.

Imagine what' s hidden in the shadows and the sounds buried beneathe the earth. What if you saw it all ? What if you heard it all ? What would you care about then ? The world is a big place with mighty mysteries. It' s scary to think of what we haven' t experienced...but can. It' s scary to know , how "easy to ****" we all can be and it' s even more intimidating to realize what we' re all afraid of is all afraid of something else. Something mysterious.