(Solitary Chamber. Heart breaking melodious music is flowing silently. Young Ren is looking pale, soliloquizing.)

Young Ren:  Sweet Flance!
                     Can you hear me?
                     I do know you can never see me now;
                     But hear me --- my words at least!

Feel my heart that hangs on nothing;
Yet resting itself on my unrequited love.
  
                     Hear me! Do hear me!

Send thy spirit unto me awhile,
And hearken my silent words.

                     Dear Flance!
Thou must be now with thy partner
Breaking thy footprints with me once;
Yet ne'er am I angry with thee.
From him I should not take thee away;
Yet listen unto me awhile.

                      Dear Flance!

I loved thee not at the very first sight
Like Orlando and Rosalind ---
Orlando was a wrestler,
Rosalind was a fair lady.

Their love began at an arena in a contest ---
Rosalind in the guise of Ganymede,
Their love passed thro' rustic lands
Symbolizing the art of Nature,
Their love stirred the young hearts
With wonder and fancy.

Sweet Flance!
                       Romeo died of Juliet and Juliet of Romeo ---
                        Breaking endurance to chaos.
                       There was poison in their love.
Dear Flance!
                       Jealousy lingered in the fatal love
                       Betwixt Othello and Desdemona,
                       At night their love was born,
                       At night their love was dead
                       When blackened by the candle light.
Dear Flance!
                        Lysander loved Hermia
                        And sought fanciful beings
                        For their fanciful union.
Dear Flance!
                       Know you, Keats died of consumption?
                      His love for ***** Brown was limitless,
                      And so burst into tears.
                      Oh! No!
                     MY love for thee can never have comparisons.
Sweet Flance!
                     Blossomed my love for thee
                    When thou wert young,
                     When thou wert beautiful;
                     Yet it's not of Romeo's,
                     Of Othello's,
                     Of Lysander's,
                     Of Dante's,
                     Of Keats',
                     For they died of their love.





My love for thee be unrequited; yet ineffable.
You felt not my love; yet I cannot be Romeo.
Know you?
                Romeo loved Juliet,
                Juliet loved Romeo,
                And so they died without love.
Loved I thy heart, not thee?
Love I thy heart, not thee?
And so,
             We live in remembrance of each other.
Dear Flance!  
              Thou must be now living with thy partner
               Rejoicing in his presence.
               Can you think of me living myself.
               Rejoicing in my thoughts of you?
               Here am I in the air with wings waxed;
              Yet I'll not fall down to fragments.

              Know you?  
              I am to lead my life myself,
              But with thoughts of you!

              For
                    Loved I thee, still I love thee,
                                           Ever I'll love thee.

(Young Ren sheds tears)

Sweet Flance!

My tears are not of my loneliness sans thee;
But born of bliss within me with thoughts of you.

              (Curtain  Falls)

****** myself, I, for deeds done and not done!
Cursed that horrid deed.
What would have come to be had you pre-deceased me?
Voiced in visualizing a rise of the dead in dreams
The power is death passing suffering in seizures of nineteen nights
Take away the veil of the evil in this nightmare of no awakening
Come, this way, I will show you hellishness seeping in thru cracks of the mind

In this bind I have to you I have been made deadened
Alone to follow the demons in this world
Hark to the angels to sway my actions and lock my lips!
With benign forces on a cosmic level
And all the unnatural deeds
Compassion and forgiveness lie upon us, unto each to the other
If anyone is listening, tell me now, who summoned this chaos?!

Given to women and taken the child, oh joy and ruthless cruelty!
Born and unborn.  Done and undone.
Taking my future with the end of yours, oh retched moans.
What is the hint of that to come?
Where are we in this existential void?
A sovereign flower plant seeds for regrowth in a new time.
The smell of sickness lingers
Can what’s done be undone?!

The cutting blades of thoughts
Swaying one way only to swing back this way
Again, for another ****!
I’d thought they’d be duller after much use
Instead, they swing faster as if my brain is the sharpening tool.
The gauges are becoming deeper and with better precision.
“Please STOP” I yell.
“Please HELP” I cry.
I don’t think there is anyone here.

Am I the protagonist?
I am frightened in my shaken center.
Who is in charge of the new order?
Can I be made limitless, safe, healed and whole?
I beg you, make me free to forgive and free to save the world!

As a lactose intolerant
     cow whirring lion eye zing
dual (Banjo playing) Manichean
     ("FAKE") keen man womanizing,
faux nymphomaniac wannabe,
     I cone only scream about visualizing
nip pulling and getting a breast
     of Hani La (vanilla),

     this sweltering unfreezing
Wednesday while mouth
     watering chiefly hanker
     for milch of
     human kindness, which titillating
fanciful fandom fantasies
     skinny dipping into soliloquizing
whet dreams har made

     sadly, simply, and sorely realizing
test tickles quizzing
noggin merely figment
     of fertile imagination pricking
prurient potent plentifully oozing
naughty salacious, licentious,
     and felicitous evocations pulsating
hypnotically invoking

     trance send dint overriding
gloriously flirtatious escapade needling
my over active
     thought processes monopolizing
ability to focus attention trying
     to compose joyous leavening,
sans jump starting
     massaging, and kneading

     dormant limp libido liberating
panting allied force,
     which seems tubby
     in axis Sybil for Nick -
     A.Ting, thus Celeb Basie,
     frantically, gingerly, and
     haphazardly kickstarting
***** riot with this feeble attempt

     for a firm hut heave action,
     one docile male member
     devoid of livingsocial,
     hence aye ****
     sitter ring joining

a nunnery, which
     would be habit chilly unfitting,
     and very un convent
     shin null for a poetic ending!

When the weirdest words awaken such a consciousness of the distance in between
When my mind suddenly remembers that it's been a million years already
When my heart aches
When my breath's unsteady
When my shoulders shake
And the tears keep coming
When the fear of not reaching you stops me from calling
When my prayers are boxes of deep, deep yearning

It's okay though
I'm not sad
I was
But not anymore
I'm lucky
I have you
You're here
I miss you
I need you
I love you
Carried everywhere
I want you
I'm happy
Soliloquizing
You're not here
You can't hear me
I can't hold you
Come close
I miss you
I feel incomplete.

Whereby I confessed being guilty
impossible mission to escape accusation
of prurient transgressions
wrought transformation and self condemnation
additionally begat demonstrable emasculation
against accepting, kindling,
urging temptation toward verboten fruit,
clearly communicated, albeit clumsily
courtesy non verbal gesticulation
labeling mine promiscuous, lascivious,
horrendous... behaviour reviling.

Yours truly shirked fidelity
regarding faithful vows
bequeathed courtesy angel of mercy,
who pledged her troth
July twenty fifth nineteen ninety six
five months (not quite to the day) before
"star student" birthed
on December twenty second,
(now gainfully employed
at Certified B-Corporation
headquartered in San Francisco, California).

The missus likened to Rose Madder
than a raging (red) bull
visa vis upon discovering mine absence
(cuz I slept in the basement cull
hooding with Casanova
while at 724 Railroad Avenue
keeping company with mice elf),
methought then how wretched and dull
being married and celibate,
hence yours truly sought full
fill mint outside the marriage,

yet unbeknownst to this husband
an automatic, fatalistic,
and opportunistic hull
king, quaking, and vociferating wife
gave me a thrashing tongue lashing harangue
verbal dressing down,
cuz I betrayed lifelong commitment
until death do we part
me uttering sacrosanct words witnessed courtesy
immediate family members

plus justice of the peace
honorable Judge: Henry Schireson
925 Montgomery Avenue, Suite 100
Narberth, Pennsylvania 19072-1913
pledged allegiance, compliance,
exuberance,  obeisance lull
and sacred marital concord
yours truly did not honestly mull
kickstarting promising unswerving monogamy
deserved hypocrite label
coveting, facilitating, indulging,

loving, offering pent housed
****** relief with another woman
nearly did render null
and void marriage pact
flaunted sacred pact
and will (as good as) hang,
which ****** imbroglio,
albeit (nocturnal escapade) did boomerang
in earshot of both
our then young daughters ****** ears,
thus a sudden pang

to exit the scene arose up inside me
courtesy wishful trapdoor to appear suddenly,
(whereby regarding floorboards)
from out mine overactive imagination sprang
open to usher, and/or time travel back
to earlier that fateful night rather than lang
whooshing amidst livid rage
self serving deserved fiery emasculation,
the noose hence I did stage,
experiencing withering, twittering,
snapchatting, kickstarting blistering
expletive laced epithets think
ready to burst pressure cooker
evincing dangerously hot level gauge

driving figurative wedge
between me family
courtesy foaming at the mouth spouse
(of course deux progeny affected)
renting asunder and rendering hollow
thee justice of the peace
gordian tied, uttered,
vouchsafed worded oath I did pledge.

Divorce prematurely *******,
yet instantaneously dismissed
no more pleasant alternative spewed versus
contracting cankerous cyst
analogous to toxic mother
of our two offspring hissed
disparaging me directly linkedin
with promiscuous tryst
besotting me with blackened barbs
me honestly, lamely, meekly
justifying philandering gist,

cuz gal methought
(good idea mister casanova wannabe),
which came as soliloquizing aside
to exchange as bartered bride
thine scorned wife,
who would relentlessly chide
(even long after the day I died)
heard thru tomb harrows coffin

abominable behavior, I do readily admit
figuratively found me electrified
what with raging testosterone nsync with
hormonal secretion my guide
****** gamboling, I chose not to hide
never back once black traipsing inside
double entendre meant
viz yule eyes joyride.