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I weave the loom of memory anew
Which I, with haste, undo each night
A living past (if past it is)
Still nascent, quickly flies

So ask: when life's effluent breath
From cracking lips begins to leak
And when encased in body-sepulchure
My brain no longer seeks

And when my life has risen to
Its crest and falls back to the sea
How shall the fibres of my past -
Ephemeral and sanguine - cast
Headlong into death's bitter chasm
Spin anew this strange phantasm?
Youth--
That vermillion sky
So tainted by the dark ink scrawled across
The pages of psychiatrists notepads
And the cool cimmerian shade
Always looming on the horizon--
Exists only in fond memories

Compassion is smothered
By the shrill vociferations of selfish regret
And hope is a vain paroxysm

Your life will be empty
Your grave will be full
'Gainst tranquility, that I may Insurrect
Ere my deliquessence grows inane
To trace life's lurid lines, and thus be wreck'd
Can be my only goal
                                     I shall not feign
A life of peace, in stagnant doldrums steep'd
But towards illumined firmament aspire
If I, by Thou, were wrought, Eternal Wretch
A thriving will must hide in Just attire

Plague me no more
Shackles and bindings
This world shall be mine
Mine is the beating
Heart, blood-rip'd life!
Fervor and strife
Volition and will
Torment and thrill!
Stretched to span the gulf between infinities
Encompassed by a world
I did not create
I am spoken
                        Yet I speak
And I shall savor each
Succulent strophe
Each verdant verse
For I unfurl only as a
Living tissue of signification
Ere despondent darkness reigns unchecked
I bask with thee in dewy eventide
On earth our hearts content do intersect
As radiant ribbons streak envermeiled skies
In friendship, woes and sorrows melt away
As winter's sullen snow doth yield spring's bloom
So long as in sweet concord we're arrayed
Day be not engulfed in Night's wide womb
But if, my friend, you soon precipitate
Into a past which, fraught with Discord's seeds
With haste would hope's effulgence dissipate
The joyous tides of life will fast recede
Your every word emblazoned I extol
Though loss to come weighs heavy on my soul
Few are the days allotted us
On youth's resplendent heights
For soon we fall, and fall we must
From innocence, to hellish plights

From morn to noon I fell,
Alas! From noon to dewy eve
  And still do I perceive
Descent towards stygian abyss;
                             I grieve
For days bygone and edifice which,
   with Daedalic splendor
I wrought in primal hours
   To this past, I now surrender

With childhood's cherub wings thus shorn
From Avernus cold, my prayers are Bourne
With broken lips, towards skies azure
The myriad gods I do implore

Uplift this loathsome imitation!
Coal-eyed creature of negation
Wont to build a heaven in hell
This torpid fate I must repel!
Childhood: a paradise lost, who's heights we strive, in vain, to attain once more, or a hell which, throughout out lives, we feebly attempt to correct.
The Fresh blood still warm on my hands
        My mind is swimming in a sweltering sea of sordid sensations
I find myself (or shall I say I search?)
        [I] search for this self [I] naively presuppose amidst quite a convoluted calamity
This assuefaction will not do!
        I must **** myself, and start anew!
I must violently press forward!
        I will hurl myself into the chaotic clasps of Erebus to avoid this cold, dead sediment
                                        This cold, dead past.
Your cold, dead eyes
                                      Your tantalizingly tepid tone
*****, you wish to take me from myself
           You would strip me of my subjectivity
                    You would **** me, but I'm not for you
                               I must **** myself and start anew
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