And there she was
A rough scab on a smooth perfect knee
With a chalky cigarette between bony fingers
Chipped red painted nails
Matching crimson accenting glossy white walls
She knew she was dreaming
Because of the ****** sun in the middle of the room
Chapped lips crack with scarlet, staining teeth
Surgical gloves reaching out from her beating heart
Held in by pale marked skin
Needles pricking gums, calling upon beads of ruby
Incisors and canines fall out one by one
Heavy tongue tastes gory wine
Indifference and apathy sistering one another
Stitches hold right-handed fingers in permanent crosses
Though an opal ring falls through
The shattering crystal lights the room ablaze
Intangible flames lick the ceiling as it rises and the floor sinks
An ever-expanding room flashing over and over in endless continuity
Like a repeating reel of film catching on fire
And then she was gone

FROM off a hill whose concave womb reworded
A plaintful story from a sistering vale,
My spirits to attend this double voice accorded,
And down I laid to list the sad-tuned tale;
Ere long espied a fickle maid full pale,
Tearing of papers, breaking rings a-twain,
Storming her world with sorrow's wind and rain.

Upon her head a platted hive of straw,
Which fortified her visage from the sun,
Whereon the thought might think sometime it saw
The carcass of beauty spent and done:
Time had not scythed all that youth begun,
Nor youth all quit; but, spite of heaven's fell rage,
Some beauty peep'd through lattice of sear'd age.

Oft did she heave her napkin to her eyne,
Which on it had conceited characters,
Laundering the silken figures in the brine
That season'd woe had pelleted in tears,
And often reading what contents it bears;
As often shrieking undistinguish'd woe,
In clamours of all size, both high and low.

darkness is creeping up on me again,
envy is about to swallow me alive, and it hurts to smile,
my body is aching as if i was struck by lighting,
but the only natural disaster i have survived is change,
i shouldn't count my chicks until they hatch,
however, although i am commencing in change,
i fear it enough, to know that i can handle it,
the difficulties i am about to endure will hurt,
tears will drown my face in sorrow more than once,
my head with ache due to the loss of oxygen sistering my tears,
however, despite it all i know i can make it through.

but why must blades tempt me so, as if i was a fish about to reeled in by a pole,
drawn to pain like moths to light,
and easily saddened by a poor choice of word,
i am the weakness at it's highest point,
my being aches,
the sadness is swallowing me, i can feel it,
i try to climb the slippery ***** attempting to escape it's grasp but it is hard,
harder than most things i've had to do,
and saying goodbye to you, hit my inner core,
it broke me.
although we are far from over you are no longer my neighbor,
my cul de sack is lonely without you to come over and play,
my inner child screams everyday for you,
save me from myself!
i know you can't, it is something i must do alone,
sword in hand, blade in mouth, i will fight the darkness away,
although i am very aware that i does indeed bite without warning in the dark.

strung out on
drunk stung-drumming under this skin
isn't mine when you touch it
fight the belting, beg again
memorized muscle and music
trying and failing
melting and falling
repeat the crawling song;
confused teeth, knees
leaving feet, forgetful hand-smothered-feelings \ religious breathing, heart-beat bleeding, gentle breeze please lift my ribs with your pleases after my name leaves your gut after my nails peel you off, an ode to pretending, for stopping;
a better use of force
a better Wednesday waiting
sistering indifference and swelling on sheets never made for pigments preferring the latter again, and I
I haven't felt this way since my leaves fell
since the water settled under my belt
before & after lonely
refer me to laughter when I cannot breathe  & cry about how it'll never work

And there she was
A rough scab on a smooth perfect knee
With a chalky cigarette between bony fingers
Chipped red painted nails
Matching crimson accenting glossy white walls
She knew she was dreaming
Because of the ****** sun in the middle of the room
Chapped lips crack with scarlet, staining teeth
Surgical gloves reaching out from her beating heart
Held in by pale marked skin
Needles pricking gums, calling upon beads of ruby
Incisors and canines fall out one by one
Heavy tongue tastes gory wine
Indifference and apathy sistering one another
Stitches hold right-handed fingers in permanent crosses
Though an opal ring falls through
The shattering crystal lights the room ablaze
Intangible flames lick the ceiling as it rises and the floor sinks
An ever-expanding room flashing over and over in endless continuity
Like a repeating reel of film catching on fire
And then she was gone

It was my first week in the underground
I tapped the girl in the black dress on the shoulder
Pointing at my train booklet, I asked for directions
In the rush of people she quickly directed me
"Always from behind?"
She said boldly, sistering me
She could tell
I didn't look into her eyes
And I carried on my way