I want my points
of entry into
states of wanton wide release grace to be
more graceful.

I want enough to
remember what's inside
the room to be able to resist the urge to claw,
drunkenly at the door frame or
**** the door **** because I am so far
gone from grace that this makes sense.

There's so much talk of a wealth divide.
Rich getting richer but what of the trickiest
shitfest yet?  How only grace begets
grace and doorknob ******* makes ******* doorknob
babies,
who'll likely be humpers too.

How long do I have to deal with an internal shitfest
How long will I think she's a good person
Will I ever look at her the way others do
My friend thinks she strung me along, too
He says he confronted her about it and she got quiet
She does that when she disagrees
She doesn't want to argue
She just likes agreeable people
She's incapable of being honest
Why do I still love this girl?
Because she's ******* beautiful

I still can't sleep

I keep stacking my ex's

I keep missing cutting

I keep being lonely

I swear if this is all my lifes' gonna be

I'll end this shitfest right now.

Allow me
Let me ease your pain
I'll make you smile everyday
Crack your code
We'll seize the day

Envelop me
Make ya all that I see
Choke on your breath
God, its unconcievable
But you are all that I need

Consume me
Electrify my synapses
Get high off the endorphins
That you release in me
That I release in you
Can you feel the electric heat
Of electrons spitting
Up in this room?

I know life is hard
It seems no matter where I look
People are getting shot up and slaughtered

Women and kids
are getting snatched up
And sold for fodder

And home ain't a home
Dads gone awol
And your moms
on the speed

Broken family
Fighting all the time
Different man
every day and every night

Afraid to go to sleep at night
Wondering who's going to sneak in-
To your bed tonight

Makes you wonder
Why the hell should I stay clean?
I'd much rather be high than sober
At least then I can pretend I'm floating till its over.
But together we can weather the storm
We might get pulled under
But the sting of adrenaline
Is what we live for

So come on sweet lily,
Embrace the tide with me
Breathe in my air
Ride or die with me
Don't be afraid
Old age is just a pipe dream

Sweet lily
Don't forget the silver lining
Don't you remember?
Growing up young and free?
In our little bodunk town
Growing up wild and out
Untamed and not afraid
To thrown down
And show out

White trash
That's all we were
Epitome of Americana
****** up southern belles
Red neck delinquents
Had to go pay for bail
So we went
cruising down the street
Blunt in one hand
Dropped it off
Hope the check didn't smell of ****
****.
How stupid were we?

Break me
I want to feel vulnerable
Cuz I'm feeling a bit too stoic
And incorrigible

God its intolerable
But you make me think that I
Can past this shitfest that's so
insufferable

Sweet lily
Build me up just to
Break me down
Reconstruct my walls
Then tear it down

I might sound masochistic
A little left of sane chick
But ain't that what love is
My ride or die miss

But I don't mind
No I don't mind
Because I know I'm home
When I feel your hand in mine

I don't swear much
Its a vow solemn made, a rule to keep
No greater reason drives this oath
Not moral, not spiritual..nothing
Cussing seems so basic and ******
My language must be pristine
Immaculate
Swearing is so crass
An inadequate emotional response
I would rather be unfeeling,
Passive
Controlled
But now
My world is upside down
Words bubble in my throat
Ready to burst out
I want to push the gates open
And revel in profanity unbound


Everything is ******
My whole world is upside down and it's rough
No one gives a ****
Life is so ******* hard.
Its an absolute shitfest
But I am a man
Men don't cry
Men don't ***** about our woes
Men must bear our suffering stoicly
Yet try and try as we do
The weight of the world crushes us
We're weary
I feel like ****
I ache so deeply in body and mind
I am a man
And i know
That men break quietly..on the inside
I feel like an absolute ******
A cockup
I bleed in silence

Everything is a big ******* mess
**** me, I can't catch a break
Even when I am **** drunk
This stinking shitpile of worries and sorrows never disappears
****!
****!
****.



Pardon my French.