home is where the
dog died
where the carvings in the walls say
I heart ryan four ever

or it used to be

I could etch the rooftiles of the
abandoned hot dog stand in foil
from blindfolded memory I know these walls

I could drive drunk from 111 to 25
unbury the spare key where
hannah used to live
I could
recite the streets and pebbles between yours and mine

but they say you can’t go home again
you can’t go home again
you can’t go
not again

i laugh without listening
and cancel all my plans

in black and white
dressing every windshield in dew

i dream of you in bars
in bars
i wake up wallowing
hollow
in all our distances and headaches

every day a ****** hangover
my dry eyes are rooftiles
in wait
for the acid come pouring
out the cracked ceramic sky

umbrellaless

i cancel plans 'cause of my veins'
caramel sludge cravings ever
clear embers and
candy climbing tumbles

i crumple through the openings
of every suburban sliding glass door
to sear the acoustics of some stranger's
morning cigarettes

make clouds
and disappear vapor-burned valleys

i cancel plans 'cause the moon
has been full for three months
and the atmosphere's been seizing grandly
in time to my throat's theatrics

in time to the tics of my lighter's
flickers and clicking calls

that won't stop
'cause i don't leave my bed