"matric" poems
Today I had an emotional breakdown
In front of a thirteen year old
I told her that I just wanted to run away
That I experienced the feeling
Drapetomania
An overwhelming urge to run away
I declared that all I wanted to do with my life
Was to live in a cottage with the Love of my life
Read books and live serenely
I don't want stress
I don't want this terrible nonsense
Called 'matric'
And to beg for bursaries from the man with money
For a job I may not even enjoy
I just want to be happy
I want to be loved
I want to caress the world with my writing in books
And touch individuals with profound poetry
Why must I go on with stress
Why oh why
Must life for an eighteen year old be
Oh so difficult
I just want to be happy
I want to run away
To my cottage in the mountains
Where my quiet symphony reigns.
Jul 19, 2016
Jul 19, 2016 at 3:59 PM UTC
My matric year
When life became so complex
When my heart got broken for the second time
When mom got cancer
When mom died inside
When I stopped living
And started drowning
When I should be studying
My matric year
May 8, 2014
May 8, 2014 at 12:34 PM UTC
I hate school, but I love education
Sitting on that desk facing a projector
Class dismissed, tommorow she will ask me some questions
Not that I mind, but it's my mind that we are talking about
I still have to do my Personnel Training presentation on this same day
And I'm writting a test on friday
Sometimes I just feel like taking my school bag and go home and study by my self untill the exam days
My current President left school at the age of 10 years old
No Grade 3, No matric, No degree
Are we yet free?
Some of us do not need to go to school to be successful
Success is not an ocean
That we can all enter
You fail, they say "i'ts not the end of the world"
Say's who? They must be God
Bill Gates never finished school
Oprah never finished school
Can you please define the word "School"for me
Because my definition for "School" is "BullIsh"
School is the Prison of the future leaders! #Just saying it like it is..
Jan 7, 2015
Jan 7, 2015 at 6:39 PM UTC
5 months
These days in matric
Were full off joyful moments
When you were by my side
We came from different places
But much more alike
That's how
The chemistry were bonded
I remember
The first time we greet
You teach me
How to start solve
Stupid crazy logarithms
You said it was easy
You like shoes
You like them a lot
Got a collection
Full of cupboard
Those memories
We created it together
Those crazy nights
Sleepy morning
Sunny afternoon
We've been through it together
But now
You're not here anymore
Destiny separated us
So don't forget
Where you belong
Oct 6, 2017
Oct 6, 2017 at 7:15 PM UTC
I'm sitting here, alone in my thoughts
Drowning myself in alcohol trying to forget.
Trying to make sense of it all, why?
Busy re-learning the 3 W's from my Life Orientation teacher, mma Vaaltyn;
What?
When?
Why?
To be honest I don't think I need to know How, because it makes me hurt even more thinking about it
I can still see your smile.
You looked full of life,
You looked happy,
You looked...
I don't know, I'm running of words to explain how you looked because I realize now it was just a mask
You kept it on to let the world not bother you
Kept it on for your protection
I did always know that looks lie but I didn't know it meant this
I will lie to myself and pretend this doesn't hurt, but little sis it really does
What about your matric farewell?
I was supposed to drive you, remember?
What about your 21st birthday?
What about your college graduation?
What about the days at the park?
Days at Naval hill, playing, enjoying?
Last great day I had with you was at the park, Shell ultra.
We were having so much fun till my lil nephew ruined it by falling from the see saw.
I can still remeber your laugh
The poses you made while I was busy taking pictures
The conversations, the memories
We'll, I'm on my 3rd bottle now,
I cannot even see clearly as I type this,
And I still cannot understand little sis,
Why?
What do I tell your dad when I see him in the afterlife?
What do I tell your mom too?
Did you miss them too much?
Is that it?
It that why you took your life?
You just couldn't wait to see them?
Or were you tired of this life you just had to go?
What do I tell your big sister?
She left you in the best hands she knew
How do I make her understand?
And what about your little brother?
How do I even begin to make him understand why?
What do I say it's the reason why?
Is it school?
Is it friends?
Is it the family?
Or is it me little sis?
Answer me! Can't you hear I'm talking to you?
Busy looking for an answer at the bottom of this Chivas bottle
Doubt I'm gonna get it
But where else would I get it?
Because you're not here to answer me little sis, are you?
You know you could've talked to me right?
Please wake up, I'm sorry.
Forgive me little sis,
Forgive me uncle,
Forgive me auntie.
I'm sorry I didn't spend enough time with you
Sorry I didn't call you enough
I should've seen the signs
The last Whatsapp post you posted last night was a friend who passed
Is it why?
You looked sad
I should've asked you if you're okay
Why didn't I ask you?
Why did I just read and ignore?
Maybe I could've talked you out of this
Maybe..
Just maybe
I'm really sorry.
Maybe it's my fault too...
I'm gonna miss you little sis
Death has no shame, has no fear
I guess we might never know why
Whatever it is that drove you to this point, I know you it was a valid reason for you
Sleep well lil sis
Say hi to uncle Kelos for me.
I love you
We love you
And truly miss you...
Mar 24, 2021
Mar 24, 2021 at 5:41 AM UTC