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A de Carvalho May 2012
I open the blinds and see the world - in return, what
does the world see? It sees me, and all my splendid, split
personalities, living these amazing times, of amazing
pleasures, in which we tweet tweets, and post posts re
ego-trips and copyrighted links, videos and things; and,
as stray dogs, we ramble randomly, and all the time,  
living in our infinite worlds, of infinite lanes, till infinity;
yet we suffer so much pain.

Our Shih Tzus take us on extended walks, firmly leashed
to our Koss plugs, as we drone cool tunes on multihued
iPods, iPhones buzzing ringtones of tittering babies,
stolid kings and hyperactive frogs, which would all make
my eighty-six year old dad want to gag; we fly
ultralight megaplanes at the sonic sound of speed,
through virtual and real space, connecting dots at low-
cost prices, while we belt-up, gear-up, gulp Gaga and
gorge heat-inducted meals of deer, horse and over-
promoted crap; and then, wow surprisingly, we are all
so unsatisfied.

We consciously all move-in together, and **** on end,
like statistical sheep, pre-married, unloving, and broken
up, and justify it all, to ourselves, with our fully
stretched spandex morality, over low-carb brunches
@Starbucks, two 14” screens of separation; we paint
pornographic images of virgins, all called Mary, in the
name of art, and, white-clad, **** babes and alter-boys,
and penetrate each other, first with our fingers, deeply,
then superficially, without even wondering, for a
zeptosecond, why we can’t stand one another any
longer.

We crank-up dependencies, like high street mainliners,
shamming and slaughtering for neurotoxic fixes of
smileys and Crystal on billion-dollar Kogo yachts, while
we all just pedal on, dispassionately, down and over
interior canals, to the core of our hocked, abbrev lives,
chronically connected and severely distracted, in
aromatic polymer bubbles, heedlessly cruising through
comic-strip farms of mock vegetables, surely to nowhere
and towards no one; and quite frankly, the world laughs
at all this, and sobs, and so do I.
an earlier draft of this barely satisfactory missive ex post facto, i chomped asper with upper dentures upon evincing a couple of typographical errors, in up rye or draft, and did not wanna dodge being a spell bound stickler for typing words correctly.

though no obligation to trot out this fixation sans zero misspelling tolerance, a compulsion with any concomitant obsession found me reposting before a repast of dessert - so there Ghost of Marie Antoinette, wherever you might be hiding - i can have my cake and eat it too!

Minus trimmings and over stuffed ego freezers,
but altruism, civility, Dharma *** ethnocentrism,
gratuitous homogeneous internationalism,
karma mosaic opportunism, quitessential righteousness,
unpretentious vivacious wide world yipping,

brouhaha dutifully emphasizing friendliness,
antithetically booing critical, popularly pugnacious
spoiled trump petting uber western yikyak,
zealous antipathy craving everything.
---------------------------------------------------------
a hypothetical, mental, rhetorical thought question
   occurred to me just moments ago
sans, milk of human kindness bubbles frothily
   upon major American holiday,

   whereat figurative bro
   thar and sisters exhibit philanthropic ambitions
   especially, towards indigent that crow
for bare necessities

   other than
   when Thanksgiving rolls around, and dough
nuts to dollars even most frugal misanthropes
   play feigned charitable card egoistically glow
with ambient benevolence, civility,
   diligent energy, and friendly hello

and sundry pleasant greetings
   hook hood be some
   soon tubby rich entrepreneurial stranger
   ready to make shares available vis a vis  IPO

   to dirt poor anonymous guarillas G.I. Jane or G.I. Joe
   who cross paths with each other,
   even those one doth not know
when ordinary biases, callousness,

   denigration...doth full low
out the mouths of hoity toity MainLiners
   towards working class people - mow
awe less trying to remain financially afloat,
   and with plea for handout
   would receive an emphatic NO!

Thee exception to unspoken aristocratic rule
   arising on feted buzz
   feed ding occasions where oboe
players invoke cobra to deliver riches galore to the 'po

whom sincerely show gratitutde,
   yet wonder why status quo
reserves select calendrical dates for handouts
   proffered after standing in a row
of similarly bereft individuals aware at stark

   outpouring overt nurture minded, humanity
   (with perchance a guest appearance by Sean Hannity),
this public denouement,
   an atypical venue for his television show

where generosity spills forth
   from said personality and others alike
blithely, demonstrably, fortuitously, happily,
   jubilantly, lovingly, modestly, poignantly,
   where an announcer speaks thru a mike

to open their doors and hearts asper,
   those down and out
   pushing belongings along the pea king pike
of broken tureens with
   only a mangy dog as companionship,

and though I admit tubby hyperbolical,
   hypocritical, hypothetical hypoteneuse of hippopotamus
   no charity less valuable then self and spouse,
   whom both experience spike
in anxiety since net income purportedly
   below the poverty level, though we reside

   within subsidized housing (outliers
   here at 2 Highland Manor Drive),
   yet random acts of an effortless smile,
   cordial greeting to passersby, or
   waving fellow drivers right of way,
Page Number Three:

such minimally polite services today,
the most within my limited monetary hi say
means, which behavior aye strive ray
   dee to maintain zero cost politesse, which doth pay
highest dividends, which reciprocal acknowledge may
be the greatest reward,

   whether or not a response elicited tis quite o kay
the satisfaction arising breeching comfort zone
   viz exposure therapy lighting up gray
matter analogous to a cerebral Christmas tree
   and any regret avoided, asper congenial efforts    
   generate “hi” kickstarts my day.
(presumably still alive
predicated on rumored sightings dive
ving fast as blazing saddles,
     her blitzkrieg,
     nothing but a blurry beehive.)

Swifter than Usain
     (lightening) Bolt
Eden Liat
     (thine eldest daughter,
     a mixed hybrid breed
      greyhound and whippet)
     leaves in the dust
     topnotch any racehorse

     prompting speculation,
     she harkens, and begat
     from a long line,
     sans award
     (at trough feed ding),
     many a cooly
     winning super naturally
     infused awk worded Colt

surpassing (with a flash,
     plus even sub track ting
     considerable handi
     capped add halt
ting delay), thine
     prestigious, princess,
     and prodigious exalt
ting marathon running

     smart lee zipping
     as a whip lash heiress,
     thru no fault
     in the stars
     of her astrological designs
oft times humbly declines
adulation, benediction, dedication
     and deferentially finds

reasons amazingly, gracefully,
     and mannerly deflects
     self imposed grueling practices,
     that she quickly grinds    
    into pulverized powder,
     any high top custom made
     high tech lines
     brand name

     threadbare sneakers saved
     with countless
     trophies that aligns
     storied (and stuffed
     animal bedecked)
     bookshelf, even gag
me with a spoon
     humor tinged competitions,

     faux rotten tum ate oh
     (John Heinz)
seeded "ketchup with me"
     hash-tag game
     opened to all kinds
of village people, including
     some barenaked ladies,
     where flashy Mainliners

     dressed to the nines
     (essentially for sound
     garden variety public,
     who generally favor squash),
     that crop up during
     Indian Summer salad days

     punctuates the warm air,
     where one after
     another lover doth appear
     oak kay embracing ephemeral
     pseudo sappy romance
     spine tingling
     as sharp needling pines.
While rifling thru outdated writing,
     which virtual thumbing
     wrought non deadly chancre “FAKE” blister
(long thee envy o' this wordy mister
a reference to mine youngest sister
prior tuff fall lout dynamic
emotional frenzied analogous
     rapacious seditious tempestuous twister)

Tis hospitality of yar behalf
     to league gal lee
     tender our lovely daughter
     begat in part by meself,
     whose punctured psyche doth chaff
at mine severe prepubescent short comings,
     which trajectory of teen years,
     a downward line on spiro (Agnew) graph

which deprivations well nigh
     finds a civil war raging
     against one half of ma being
     (Oh Henry), a Harris son,
     who these days genuinely
     tries his Level best
     at lighter side of life to laugh
comedy of errors, boot

     haunting visions visit Twelfth Night
     figuratively brow beat
     like an unseen dis staff.
glad that Shana (thee darling daughter
     afflicted with cognitive development
     entailing homebased intervention) wince
she blossomed into
     a beautiful young lady,

     now under Dunning aegis (bonanza) since
emotionally stable, and quiet
     on western (Bend,
     Oregon) front, rinse
     sing with yar incredible credit karma,
     her existence Quince
sud dental (juiced teething),
     living with papa,

     would mount to a travesty,
sham, mockery...if superficial
     only perp pull reigning “FAKE” Prince
likely to barrel within
     outward bound mince
meted MainLiners along here
     built “mini mansion” homes
     NOT bedecked with chintz

at 724 west railroad avenue
     (previous address of this ******)
     anyway, should ill fate befall
     like an overstuffed blintz
if this king Lear Rick Hill
     wannabe meets fatal doom,
thy "mother abby" would
     get panic stricken (rue

wing my loss) if grim reaper
     came for das scribe as skew
ward poem attempted to infer, now
circling back to your queue
ped ditty linkedin with aforementioned
     poppycock poo poo
merely a hypothetical premise aye drew
     if my unexpected demise took place

     husbanding half a motley crue
(ideally such unexpected tragedy
     ideally tubby quick and painless)
     without war ning, via internal bombardier
     in tandem with luft waffe.
Sorry for rather somber tone -
     but this psychological state
      of yo dough less bro

     affected by his reading,
     autobiography coup (now, no idea titled tract)
d’état of Abraham Lincoln -
     the author drew
my rapt attention (american history
     strong interest) – whereby
     past, present n near fee var few
chore wrenched with both

     prized progeny persevering
     (as they should) a path to hew
of their own making,
     which steps toward emancipation
     (worthy proclamation) for gentile or Jew,
these kindred (chromosomal byproducts        
     from countless chanced
     genetic dice throws)

     perhaps n uncle or aunt a bit loo
knee, perchance dna housed new
bile queen of the nile,
     where (August) Caesar
     didst hotly pursue
anyway....yes, lives of
     deux darling daughters
     un wii ting lee triggered flashback,

     when self worth equaled zero  
     tricked, replayed, and generated
     mine horror silent film
     to rewind at nadir total fall out,
     when anorexia nervosa did stew

underscore ring (four decades plus…) true
     value of this moment colliding
     with elapsing squandered
     youth in rear view
mirror, unseen only
     by ma doppelganger,
     I now close with whew!
Impossible mission for yours truly,
sans this dada to validate
those two most significant mentors,
no paternal biased trait,
(who I helped beget) enroute to great
adventures toward enormously

enviously exciting destinations,
thus birth father doth ululate
eternal burning tears boding
indefinite fare thee well,
cuz propensity to
become autonomous innate

within each body electric,
and offload emotional freight
unnervingly, unscrupulously, unwittingly...
within impressionable off
us spring psychs did create,
(especially thine eldest)

perceived intentionally deliberate
indelible, unbearable, undeniable,
unforgettable, unlearnable, unpardonable,
untenably insufferable state
psychological crimes, misdemeanors,
and punishments who bore brunt

regarding mine cratered distrait
parental moon unit gravitational pull
thus itching to break free
and cleared eighteenth circuit atop oblate
spheroid around nearest star
December twenty second, sans

(bench marked circa 1996), her birthdate
I unknowingly long fostered
execrable despicableness and did generate
antipathy, loathsomeness, vileness...
ripe opportunity she hightailed out our
reprehensible company she did hate

despising dirt poor existence portrait-
quick to compare/contrast our pennilessness
with rich Mainliners, where dire strait,
i.e. particularly financial since household
income equaled zilch figuratively

queued, hexed, aligned... with eight
ball, cuz we wanted progeny late
in life, despite afflictions
with mental illness
additionally unkempt, unsightly, untidy,
where chaos and entropy did administrate

residence discouraged "star student,"
nee repulsed offering extending
invites to any chummy classmate,
plus inapropos behavior,
I exhibited oblivious impact
analogous bing saddled to heavyweight

see millstone upon first born psyche
even now, she smolders
thus doth dissociate
with this "sir" and missus,
oh yes...much more aye could narrate!

— The End —