Clarity is like hunger-
Once you lose control of it, it comes and goes as it pleases
Raging on and off as a brush fire, without your approval
You chase it, going from hit to hit,
Seeking the brightness in your eyes and the dizziness in your wrists
Like an addict
Time is bored and runs from your command
Consume me, clarity
Take me, hunger
Until eventually, there is only
Breathing and begging

*What is it to live?

Maybe muscle memory goes deeper than a body.
Like lipsyncing to a song that you never heard before.
Dreaming in a language that you don’t speak anymore.

I am angry when I try to sleep.
I am angry when I try to wake.
I am angry when I try to live.
I am angry when I try to die.

Maybe this impossible life takes longer than my age.
Like looking back a couple of months not believing where I was living.
And everything I believed in has again all been changing.

I am finally where I tried to be.
I got finally what I need to take.
I have finally a way out of this place.
I know finally what’s going on but I can’t leave.

So now what again?
Making the best of it and doing what I can?
I deserve to get out and go see what’s beyond.
Although my view is clear.
Clear from here.

But I keep being angry when I try to sleep.
Keep being angry when I try to wake.
Keep being angry when I try to live.
Keep being angry when I try.