Follow me into the land
of promise and promise
Follow my heart as it leads you to a
place of hopefullness
and joy
just take a little time
and build some trust in me
I promise I wont hurt you
or make ya cry.

You never really trusted much
You always said just give up on me
You always wanted the easy way out
but I wont let you go that easy

Dont worry
I'll take the good with the bad
and the sad with the mad
I'll sit around and wait for you to calm down
I got time to wait for ya babe
it shouldnt take long.

You never really trusted much
You always said just give up on me
You always wanted the easy way out
but I wont let you go that easy

You always tried your hardest to make me go
so you called me a douchbag
and said just go
but I know you wanted me to stay
so I took the words you said with a grain of sand
and waited outside
smoked a cig and waited for you to call my name
to come back in

You never really trusted much
You always said just give up on me
You always wanted the easy way out
but I wont let you go that easy

You opened your heart
and let love in
and to this day
our lives have never been the same
and it's not a dream
you can awake
and know that my love is yours
till the we day
and our ashes are scattered across
this land.

You never really trusted much
You always said just give up on me
You always wanted the easy way out
but I wont let you go that easy

Your heavy head,
My heavy heart.
Your too-long tongue,
And too short start
In life that was but 5 years long.
I won't believe that now you're gone.

Your greeting tail's
A silly length
So you must wag
With all your strength.
Your eyes filled up with hopefullness
Of love returned to you by guests.

Our mountain lion,
Our baby pup,
You've gone from here.
We're all cut up,
We love you so, we always will.
To have you here was such a thrill.
This love we shared with friends as well,
Our snuffly, snorting, smooshy girl.

See pets are best,
They understand,
No matter what
They hold your hand.
They sit with you
When no-one's there,
They've been with you
Through all despair.

Taz, I miss you everywhere.

I am here.  You stand there.
we are two, and yet we're one.
our bodies separate, minds together.
We're growing close. Our voices
collide
enchanted breaths of hopefullness
throw your fears aside.

And after everything, I think
I can finally say I am beginning
to understand what you have been trying
to tell me for so long.
And after everything, I still
get scared sometimes, terrified that
everything I think I am understanding
is my own brand of idiotic hopefullness, or
worse, I have understood, but
you are feeding me empty sentiments, sugar cubes
to quiet a squalling baby.
And after everything, I see
in mind's eye, our figures
tied together, not mine
vainly trying to lasso yours, fine as shadow,
as I did for so long, and more
than that, I see us holding willingly
to this rope, precious more than gold
or anything anyone could offer me.
And after everything, I trust
not blindly, as I did before, but honestly
not the trust of a sun-dazzled fool
to her betters, but the open
and honest trust to a flawed human
who deserves it.
And after everything, I can say
we are not hurt, we stand
strong, I have predicted well
and we have survived, and your fears
were as unfounded as I said
they would be, (as unfounded
as my very own).
And after everything, I still
love you, and more
than I could before.

im screaming inside dont just sit there and watch me fall, just be there to catch me before i hit the ground. dont just sore with me when i fly high on top of the world but run away when we have a rough landing. dont turn your back when i have nothing, but be there to collect my all, and give me nothing when ive given u my all.
how do i find the light when my light has dimmed to the point of non iexistance. unflammable. darkness clenched its rough grip around my soft heart, betrayel begins to harden this once loving vessel,broken trust slows down the rythm of my beating heart, lies and deciet slowly clogs my main artery,a layer of ice from dishonesty and unloyalty glazes over my beating ***** of existance. can this same vessel that beats life into my own being ever beat the emotion of giving and feeling real love to and from another being?trying to fight the incoming feelings  recieved from these new found beating hearts..they speak all the things my mind warns me about, i fight, but my beats continue to weaken as i listen to the rythem of theirs. they try to ignite this flame that i used to beat so strongly just to keep lit, but i fight their attempts at softening my hardened icy sheild, i have tunnel vision.. only seeing... hurt! mind is now trying to stay alert! telling the heart dont go there u been here before! dont love again.. u know what ur in for! sleepless nights and silent tears, broken hearted and wasted years. broken promises and bonds broken, seperation of emotion no more promising words spoken, alot of damage i had to help u repair, ask ur self heart do unreally wanna go there, to you pumping your agape love thru your very own veins,to only recieve aches and pain? i would hate to mend you all over again, but as strong as i am you always win. beat cautiously friend, soften slowly, love with precaution. listen for an idemtical beat, a heart worthy enough to coincide and colide with your beat of life! tread lightly for you are my dear friend but also my worst enemy! when u fail we all have to tend to you, we zap you back to life when you allow your teammate slash apponant ,well call it,to  seize you and squeeze you into a threatening stroke, draining all feeling to the rest of us, i,yes i,your mind had to find the time to quickly analize and decide to ressesitate you one last time, to gather the rest of this being to work togeter to get u up and beating... again... we are so very tired, so again frenemy.. think of u but think of me, u break and seiZe again, im officially done, next time a triplr bispass will need to get done, when that massive attack of heart break happens again then again my friend youll be on your own then. this excitement of recipricated emotion and hopefullness at a paralell beating of two hearts is only pumping this damage vessell harder while the fear that the mind instilled , reminded me still ,to continue to beat at a slow, careful, steady, lonly pace... so do i love again and let my heart race or keep this whole being safe and beat at a lonely, regretful, but safe pace.. to be continued..

An endless library the mind might be,
Limetless knowledge well may it posses,
Not so a place of such tranquility,
Never even once a place of true rest.
A nest of demons reside in the stacks,
Sharpening their claws on the wooden shelves,
Skill'd in subterfuge, with ease hide their tracks
Below consciousness, where surface thought delves.
Tattered pages flutter through quiet aisles,
Air pregnant with waiting and dark intent,
Then sudden hostility and sharp smiles
Where wishes and hopefullness make no dent.
I am lost in the halls of my own mind
And don't want to know what's here to find.

h.f.m.