The wind’s rendezvous with the trees
Playfully kissing the leaves from slumber
Even the sun comes to join the play
Weaving its rays through the dewdrops
Drops of gold hanging from the leafy cradle
Wind as a messenger, passing on the messages
Even the animal kingdom has started to play
Caressing up the trees, the young ones at play
Camaraderie among the disciples on nature
Rich exchange of inter-nature musings
Skies have descended to pay heed
And pass on the messages to the intergalactic spaces
Integral part of the universe, carpeting this celestial body
The wind’s rendezvous with the trees
As the sun goes higher, its rays cuts across the thick foliage
Giving a ray of hope to the weeds and climbers
Babies of the animal kingdom, become playful
Oblivious of the surrounding and its grandeur
Nature’s stories are never-ending
It never fails to astonish the humankind
For we have lost the art of simple and careless talk
Losing touch with each other
Nature keeps the communication open
And there is a rendezvous every day, to discuss the nitty-gritties
Wind is the messenger among Nature and its being

She didn’t know much about building houses
She had dreamt about it
And done some observing
But she had no idea about the logistics
The nitty gritties
And so when she made the decision
To build a house
She looked at the blueprints
She had drawn up
And she felt elated
She began to pour the cement
Somewhat carelessly
With inexperience and excitement
She had never built a house before
So when she began to see the cracks forming
She didn’t know what to do
She had to ignore the smaller ones
Pretend they weren’t there
So she could fix the larger
More insidious cracks
Day and night she poured cement
Into the crevices
Pouring with it her love and care
For the house
Willing it to hold
Sometimes it looked smooth for a little while
And she gained hope
But inevitably, it always cracked again
The crevices getting wider and deeper
But still she poured
She had never built a house before
She thought that every foundation
Cracked and cracked
Before it became beautiful
She thought this was part of the process
So she tried to build a house
On top of the cracked foundation
But this just caused the cracks to deepen
And the smaller cracks
Became impossible to ignore
And so
When the fragile, broken house
Finally crumbled
Her devastation
Led to regret
That she ignored the small cracks
And poured so much of herself
Into the big ones
But she learned
That starting over
Is not the same
As giving up

shyly enters*
heyyyyy, it is I , me.
I know I haven’t been here in a while
I haven’t been much of anywhere if we are being honest, been floating a lot , pretending a lot and crying occasionally when it all surfaces.

But, I thought it was time to face you again. That sounds mean not face you I thought I’d drop by and let you know that today is just a little too much and we know that I sometimes can’t hold it all in and it manifests in tiny little droplets of emotion.

Let’s harp on that for a second. A single drop of solution carries razor blade pain , it carries harsh anger and subtle insecurities . I think that’s cool.

I met someone who once told me that water was his path to finding god. And if we want to get into the nitty gritties of semiology it makes perfect sense. For thousands of years fluid in all religious faculties water has been a symbol of cleansing of purity of rebirth.

Watch me reinvent myself , that sounds too confident. Just as the wounds close tight and scab to the perfect itchy texture, a new bang opens it and makes it bleed.

Rayhaan? Do you see me . Do you even know what you married? They say transparency and complete intimacy is at peak during a hard or slow ****... is that all you see ? The little girl that doesn’t like to be in control? The little girl screaming for love? The little girl that demands ( quietly ) to be degraded? To be held ?

A walking ******* contradiction.

Baby I’m so much more and so much less than that little girl and all you see is someone begging to be loved. I remember when you first fell i was still sitting on my throne watching you play in my ocean splashing around, bathing in my sun. And then I fell off , I was a commoner and you became the ultimate .
For a while we ruled in unison . But now baby you watch me drown from above . Do you enjoy the suffering ? Does it make you feel good that , that little girl is screaming to be held to be seen to be heard. She craves you.

I miss my best friend the one that would lay on the floor to catch my tears , just coz Mother Nature was not vast enough to absorb all the emotion. Now you watch it waste away to the ground like a element we have too much of.

Do you still love ? I’ve never felt like enough , do you finally feel that way too?

Everything’s too heavy right now, it’s all starting to merge in my head it’s becoming too loud. The medication will start working it’s magic on my neurotransmitters, forced sleep, forced love , forced ....

I love you.
I don’t have to tell you but know that no one will ever swim with your demons , no one will twist their bones to be enough for you like me . No one will EVER see you like this. You will continue giving brief glances of your personality but never your true self.

Bye for now
( strange how I started to write to the poem then myself and finally ended at you- maybe that is because you flow in my blood )