THE QUIRK OF THE QUARK
(FOR SOMETHING HAVING NO EMPIRICAL SENSORY DERIVED QUALITY IT
SURE IS ONE HELL OF A PASSION KILLER!
In bed
(between the sheets at last)
I stroke your breast
with excited fingertips
ask you
“What ya reading Hon? ”
Big mistake!
“’bout Quarks! ”
“Quarks? ”
“You know subatomic particles...duh! ”
“...the irreducible building blocks of
the universe! ”
“Ahhh! ”
Your ****** comes alive
has a mind of its own.
I come
(from a generation)
where protons, neutrons & electrons
were just
a lot of
coloured *****
hanging from a ceiling
or the stuff
of badly drawn diagrams.
Death by boredom
in a cold Science class
on a wintry morning.
“Unlike previously known particles
a Quark
(rhymes with Cork)
has only a partial
Pos. or Neg.
electrical charge.
“I see! ” I say
(not seeing) .
“They are bound
in families of 3...”
She tells me.
“Really? ”
I interrupt her
but she interrupts my interruption.
“...to form protons & neutrons! ”
She continues on
in a hectoring lecturing tone.
“These triplets
(are you with me?) ”
“Yes...yes! ”
(I lie)
“...we call hadrons.”
She absentmindedly
strokes my *******
for(I guess)
...emphasis.
I become positively
...charged.
“The pairing of a quark
with an anti-quark
of the same colour
is known as a
Neson.”
I can feel my mind
freezing over.
She just skates over it
with a knife-blade intellect.
Again I grin & feign
an interest.
“So now...”
She continues in full spate.
I drown in her drone.
“The indivisible
constituents of matter
appear to be
the six what we call flavours of
Quarks.”
“Oh, and...six other kind of particles
known as
Leptons.”
I prop imaginary matchsticks
under my real eyelids.
“The electron
(by this time I have lost my *******)
the Muon
(I feel like a *****)
& the Lau
(I can’t sink any lower)
each with its own
Neutrino.”
My eyes glaze
over.
“Now, according to Quantum Field Theory
all forces
between
particles
are mediated
by force carrying particles
called...called
Gauge Bosons! ”
My mind
goes into meltdown.
“One of these
(the Gluon)
is responsible
for holding Quarks
together.”
“I see...I see! ”
I consider thoughtfully
‘though I
don’t.
“The physicist
who postulated
the existence of a
Quark...”
(******* that
Murray Gell -Mann)
“...obviously liked a laugh
giving them the nonsense name of
Quark! ”
“And oh...on a whim
described them
as flavours & colours! ”
“Quarks...! ” I ruminate
(in an interior monologue)
are passion killers
especially the details.
She laughs.
So I – laugh.
“Ha ha! ”
(** hum) .
Brought back to life
by the kiss of humour
I come out of
deep freeze.
Warming now
to her
subject
she informs me
“Each flavour of
Quark
comes in
3 colours! ”
“Horray for the red green & blue! ”
I holler.
She glowers.
I smile stupidly and sheepishly.
“Each hadron
(remember ‘em?) ”
“Yes, I remember
I had one! ”
I mumble
& mutter
but it’s lost
on her.
My *******’s had it.
It’s more an R.I.P!
She’s blinding me
with Science.
“And what... pray tell...? ”
I dare to ask
a question.
“...are the 6 flavours of Quarks? ”
“Why..! ”
She positively beams
delighted at my interest.
“UP.
DOWN.
STRANGE.
CHARMED.
BOTTOM
(OR BEAUTY) .
TOP
(OR TRUTH) .”
“Really? ”
“Really! ”
“Why...I’ll be a...why
of course I shoulda guessed! ”
I stroke the beauty
of her bottom
(for comfort
rather than any ****** interest) .
“Protons have...”
She drones on and on despite my hand’s pleading.
“2 UP Quarks &
1 DOWN.”
“Oh lucky them! ”
I think
but only in my mind.
“...whose electrical charges combine
to give them a + 1.”
“Neutrons
(on the other hand)
Are you listening? “
“Yes Mam...I am! ”
“...are made up of
1 UP
Quark
&
2 DOWN! ”
“...which accounts for
its neutral charge.! ”
“Right! ”
“Right? ”
My mind has hit
a brick wall.
I can’t go on.
“Oh, love...
Am I boring you? ”
“Not at all! No! Not at all! ”
I doth protest
too much.
I feel like
four flavours of Quarks
(you know the sort)
STRANGE, CHARMED(I’m sure!)
BOTTOM & TOPS
that existing for only
an infinitesimal fraction of a second can only be seen
in those self-annihilating collisions that occur when
protons and anti-protons are accelerated to speeds
approaching the speed of light
in a particle accelerator.
But in a hundredth of a billionth of a billionth of a second
I blinked
...& missed it.
**** that
Murray Gell-Mann
...she’s fallen asleep
Leaving me
with a revived *******
glowing lonely
in the dark.
Quarks
...****!
I design a tee-shirt in my mind.
“Ha ha! ”
“What...! ” suddenly you
awake...laugh
as I imagine
a Quark
would.
“April Fool! ”
You scream.
“I learnt it all off by heart! ”
“By rote
...joke? ”
“But it’s not April Fool!
It’s the middle of February! ”
“Yes but...if I had waited
for April Fool’s Day
You would have known
I was having you on! ”
You somehow
logic.
“Oh, come
here! ” you say.
“And let me give you a hand
with that! ”
“Quark! ”
I moan.
