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kara lynn bird Jun 2013
crazy.
you're crazy
he would say
and he meant it.

crazy because
our lines didn't cross...
the intersection
that we were supposed to meet
always seemed jammed
no progress
no moving forward
the ways we were supposed to touch each other
never felt right.

two loose ends
never meeting at the same spot.
lost children
among the midst of our lives
no path to lead us back
to where we were supposed to have started.

we met eachother with anger
angry faces
misplaced traces,
lots of frusteration
and denial,
and nervousness,
instead of...
laughter.

crazy
he would say,

you believe in angels,
what's wrong with you?
you'd take the whole universe
in one breath...
you're out of touch with reality...
you believe in dreams
and seach for symbols
as if some symbol
is going to give you the answer.
life has no map,
i am your compass
and there is NO direction.
you get up
and take the world
one person at a time-
bleeding out your heart for others.
you talk to strangers
and think you've been places
you've never seen.
and yet,
you get up
and you live
and you do it again
and again-
you think this is normal?
you think you have it all figured out-
you're ******* crazy.


as the clock slows down
and i catch up to the fast pace
of my beaten heart,
as the world slows to a halt
and i catch my breath
after inhaling sparks
from fallen stars and daydreams
i've never been more certain
i am indeed...
crazy.

crazy for allowing him to capture
the best parts of myself
place them in a jar too tiny-
on a shelf that's too big,
and mislabel them
with a big *** sign that read
"DO NOT TOUCH"

i've never been more certain
that i am indeed...
crazy.

crazy for playing lifesaver
on an already sinking ship
crazy for talking to angels
in the middle of the night
crazy for grasping faith
during moments
when the whole world feels
like the collapse of
a black hole-
in the middle of spring
when everything is trying
to start over.

crazy for living
my life on the inside of his tiny jar
on a shelf that's too big
listening to him scream
getting mixed up daily,
a television broadcast
which gets inturrupted
by an emergency test

test
test

this is only a test,
and if the results show it
fine-

i'm crazy.
Ellie McGoldrick Jul 2011
Across the midnight skies they drift
shining on the blackest night
up and over, through the clouds they sift
the sun descends and they take flight
watching us peacefully as we sleep
giving direction for all lost
while we partake in dreams so deep
they do not part until morning frost
wherever life may bring you
they will always be above
strung across the skies askew
as peaceful as a dove
around the moon they dance
the path to heaven they light
even far off in the distance
they shine with all their might
no matter your situation
they will shine for you
whether it be dismay or frusteration
their light will shine you through
power wil burn out
and lights will turn dark
but they will shine without doubt
along the skies they ark
many years shall pass
some may leave this world, and some have entered
but still they be a compass
and keep our universe centered
what be these powers
of which i speak so great
how do they withstand the darkest hours
can they control our fate
these powers are the stars
which shine among us bright
they protect the earth from scars
and see to it our world is right
in all your journeys through the years
when all lifes songs of joy and sorrow fill your ears
when you succumb to fear
and the pain feels far too great
shed not one tear
and feel no hint of hate
when i am not there to watch over you
look at the stars and remember,
that i am looking at them too.
Jolene Perron Aug 2010
It's a lie,
it's a twist,
it's a word behind their back.

It's a poem,
it's a fist,
it's the confidence we lack.

It's the truth,
there's no lies,
and it's everything we know.

It's begging,
it's reason,
for you to never go.

The maturity,
the age,
the hormones that race.

The anger,
the frusteration,
written across our face.

It's life.
at it's worst,
and there's nothing we can do.

It's highschool,
it's drama,
it's me trapped with you.

Words fly,
hearts crushed,
life doesn't make sense.

Guys cry,
girls weep,
we all put up that fence.

I say,
it's about time,
to break those fences down.

Time to see,
what's really hidden,
deep beneath our frowns.

No lies,
no acts,
just truth down to the core.

What would,
this life me,
if we were to hurt no more?

Constant battle,
constant fear,
hidden deep within me.

Look farther,
look deeper,
and tell me what you see.

I want,
I need,
for this to all make sense.

I have,
the urge to,
please break down this fence.

Let's begin,
from the start,
let's sort all of this out.

No screaming,
no crying,
there is no reason to shout.

It's life,
it's drama,
it's highschool at the worst.

I want to smile,
let's be happy,
be free of all this hurt.
midnight prague Nov 2010
I ran away from the temple
that you hid me inside of for so long

my feet were numb
and I almost went blind
the monsters outside almost
got me
and ripped my insides out

the corners got rusty
spiders built their webs

they were present in our conversations
did you love me

or was I the crown posession
did I intrigue you
moving small

I brake my anger with your smile
and let the frusteration slip through
my hands like indian silk

most nights
I was on my knees
holding my breathe
hoping you would come home
and for many days
you did not

you left me there
walked out and locked the door
leaving me without remorse
or redemption
steady handed and left there to burn
like the guiltys alibi
hanging by a needle on my chest
burden like havok causing
endless catasrophes in my mind
insanity I questioned
burried deep deep
inside of you

you who had no mercy
with your kiss
midnight prague Dec 2010
B
I ran away from the temple
that you hid me inside of for so long

my feet were numb
and I almost went blind
the monsters outside almost
got me
and ripped my insides out

the corners got rusty
spiders built their webs

they were present in our conversations
did you love me

or was I the crown posession
did I intrigue you
moving small

I brake my anger with your smile
and let the frusteration slip through
my hands like indian silk

most nights
I was on my knees
holding my breathe
hoping you would come home
and for many days
you did not


you left me there
walked out and locked the door
leaving me without remorse
or redemption
steady handed and left there to burn
like the guiltys alibi
hanging by a needle on my chest
burden like havok causing
endless catasrophes in my mind
insanity I questioned
burried deep deep
inside of you

you who had no mercy
with your kiss
Kelli Russell Jun 2012
Eye converstation
pulls me out of frusteration.
Don't know where I've landed,
but frankly,
I don't care.

And he's taking me back,
God,
He's taking me back.
And honestly,
I'm a little scared.

We've started talking in code
Caught on so **** fast
Words don't even matter
and neither does our past.

His actions speak louder than his words ever will,
no doubt in the fact I want to swallow him like a pill,
because I'm sure I could trip on him forever.

Could I please trip on you forever?
Tintin Mar 2016
Brain shut up
Horomones calm down
Tears of frusteration
Don't you dare fall

Lungs breath
Bodu cool down
This isn't even
The worse of it yet
Hell-Loves-Blues Nov 2018
The weight of the world on her shoulders versus the pressure from her own mind is enough to make her shout out and scream, enough to break her beyond repair, its enough to destroy her from the inside out, people try to crumble her, tear her down under false pretense of "helping", they don't understand how easily help can turn into hurt,they always say "no one can love you until you learn to love yourself" I guess i'll never be loved then because i have been trying to love myself every day of my life with no success, "just do it" isn't easy with depression "get your attitude straight" isn't easy when you cant understand how you feel "it'll be okay" I know that! but anxiety is good at painting ugly pictures leaving you petrified. The feeling of impending doom that comes looming over you at the most random or the worst possible moments, the feeling of not wanting to get out of bed or even live some days, the feeling of driving everyone away because you distance yourself in order not to be a burden, no,no, not a burden, they say you arent a burden, your mind says differently though... heres the truth, youre never told about how badly it hurts when you pull yourself out of bed feeling so empty like you have this huge hole in your gut, it... its indescribable, this weight on your chest when you want to cry but you cant breathe, when it gets to much and you have no outlet and you want so badly to reach for that knife to take the pain away but you force yourself away, or the feeling that something will go wrong and you just want to hide, you cant trust anyone, you cant even trust yourself because WHAT IF! the feeling that you're slipping away again and you're trying so hard to hold it together, when your emotions drain and you feel like a shell of who you were, you want to scream out but you cant, you cant tell anyone how badly it hurts because you cant accurately describe whats going on in your mind, so you study until your mind spins, just trying to find the right **** words to say but nothing ever comes close to the pain you have inside, the frusteration of the random anger and sadness, the worry and hatred, the pure feeling of unadulterated insanity! You finally say something and break down in tears because its all too much but venting dosent make you feel any better so you lock yourself away, you cut yourself off from everyone because you dont want to be seen so broken down,  but that somehow makes it worse because you worry about everyone else, so you end up in an endless cycle, You tell yourself youre stronger, you can beat this, then the attacks come on and the flashbacks and you break again, youre exausted and feel like your at the end of your rope but yet you still hold on for everyone else, the doctors dont help and neither do the meds but you say they do, you say youre getting better but you arent, your dying and screaming inside but you dont let anything out, you hold your breath count to ten and try again, maybe one day this feeling will go away, youre fragile but resilient, you feel nothing and everything, you cant do this anymore but you have to... for everyone else, because you dont know how your story will end but it cant end now, not when it hasnt even gotten good yet, you cant let the deamons in your head win, not yet... not now... not this time...
write down my thoughts without erasing or corrections, post them annonomously. maybe this will help someone know they arent completely alone in this...

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