i am buddha and i am ok, you see i am the coolest dude oh yeah any day

you see my hooligan is trying to catch me yeah

but i am too cool for that, my friend

you see dudes, i party right up here

showing the after life how to party, yeah

it’s good to see tony abbott lost his battle

you see he is such a two faced old ****

working hard to make a living, putting shelter over our heads

i have found a way to party in ****** bed

everyone is living in the past with my actions, yeah mate yeah

like they judge me from when i was scared running up to my nanna

my brother stayed down there, i was a scared little ****

but i am still a good you tuber and writer and artist

and i will be the best i can fucken be

i look at the palm of my hand, and it says i have a long life line

and i have got big things happening for me mate, yeah that’ll be so cool

i am flying ,around outer space trying to catch the villain

the evil hooligan who i causing all the crime on earth

you see for i am cronus, i am saving the world

every idiot at a time

i have a triangle on my palm which means love life no matter what pressure your under

and the fact the triangle is on both palms

means i really love life, despite my schizophrenic brain saying i hate it

you see i know i am not a hooligan, but i was one in the past

but if i had my time again i would undo all the hooligan out

you see my hooligan is the itchy rashy fungus coming into my body

i don’t want it, but i have got it,and unless i try and relax, i will have to live with it

you see i really loved foxtel back then, showing all my mates some shows that are on

and i felt so normal, because people were wanting to come over to watch pay TV

because they were too poor, and i had a technology family and i was fine showing people all the good things about foxtel

you see i had my problems way back in 2004, when the ghosts kidnapped me away from foxtel

and took me to the psych ward to meet the people who are suffering, yeah

you see i liked to drink with my workmates after work ya see

cause i was a party animal, you see right now i am leaving my nasty man up here

while my nice man comes back to earth

i remember steven gasparic came to my house after getting ****** with me

we watched the footy all weekend, he left on sunday afternoon

this was back in 1997, the year the crows won the title against the saints

i said, come on sainters come on sainters you must win today

on that saturday night ya see, the broncos beat the sharks in super league

super league was ok, but the NRL is better

you see we get drunk, as we drink our hooligans away

yeah we feel so cool

you see there are problems in the world, but having patrick dunbar and greame thornes

previous life pattern, in my buddha cycle, like having thoughts of going out feeling like kids were playing games

with you, first of all, they will plant all these rats and feral cats and angry dogs, attempting to attack you

at every turn, and also back then when my place was messy, there were rats and dogs just walking in my

parents laundry, and it made me have problems cleaning my house, and i wondered why we saw rats and feral cats

and my cat muscles was also turning feral and i wanted to calm him down, and i started having my hooligans visions

coming when i went out, when i saw kids laughing or screaming in a drain in wanniassa, and this made me feel bad

i told the messiah about it, and he hated it as well, thinking, someone put the kids down there, and then i heard my

mate patrick, say, i am not mucking with the crazy person, because i was getting his clean mind giving me all sorts of delusions

making me feel, he was poisoning my mind with all these delusions like, muscles is the dingo that killed azaria, you see

i was battling my delusions, ya know, having a hard time, with a mate who hated what rupert murdoch was doing to this world

and i was wanting foxtel, but i seriously couldn’t afford, because rupert murdoch had the prices go too high, and when i had

foxtel, i remember i was in dilusion land, ya know, thinking i was getting a private jet to fly to the USA, to volunteer at a major league baseball match

and another thing too, i felt i was given USA TV, because, my delusions were putting the AFL, on the sunday night, and there was

a USAFL match, on there as well, and, i was having a great time doing volunteer work on the street, at the footy, i loved that, and i did

volunteer work at vinnies, i liked that, and i liked playing santa claus too, but i don’t do that now, i picked up all this ******* outside kingsley’s

and i got honoured for that, and i helped cook the meals at the rainbow, i loved that, but nowadays they turned it into a course, and i liked the

idea of giving the mentally ill people a good meal, and i worked at the softball field, in the 2003 masters games, and i cleared tables as well

as other jobs to do around there, i also worked at the kanga cup soccer, but i hated the last day, when they made us do crowd control, not my forte

and because my house was messy, my parents just went mmmm mmmmmm mmmmm, and this drove me crazy, i don’t want to miss out on opportunities

just because my house is untidy, i tried and cleaned my house, the best as i could, but i was hearing voices, you must help here, you must help there

you must help everywhere, the men will talk to me, if i helped people, and i loved when a man said to to me, your doing a good job, mate, and i liked

when men said, keeping busy, mate, and when i said yes, they said good, good, and when i said hello to dad, dad just did a sigh old hi, saying, i was only

like him if i cleaned my house, and yes, i know it’s important to clean my house, so i have a cleaner come Monday mornings, but, i wish there were opportunities

out there, where i can show off my novels to important people, i don’t want any cats anymore, one reason, i can’t look after a cat very well, and i could see lots of

rats and mice in my flat, and i am scared of rats and mice, because of the disease factor, and animals to me, i find, could send me to the psych ward

i know cleaning my house is important, and getting rid of rodents, is a way to clean, you see, lately i say, i got to help the poor, every time i see a poor man

give him money, cause i am not a rich *****, and i am not, and i spend money to try and give me things, i like computers, i was using the computer as a place

to display all my previous life and current life anger, but dad looked at my stories, as not very nice, but i was expressing where my anger is coming from

i want to have novels written and ideas pushed over to television, now i don’t want a cat anymore, or a dog or a mouse or a rat, i prefer to keep myself from

buying any sort of animal, because every time i am asked to do something,like take care of a cat, i go crazy, and i get cranky, cause i haven’t got a perfect life

because my parents have twisted m thoughts around in my head, if i had someone to live with, or moved to another city, with the same services, i will feel good

about myself, because i would still get the cleaning done as well have carers and i need a job, i need a job, i want to show people how to write their problems out of them

i hate being treated like a girl from bay watch, getting kidnapped by old good mates because they fucken agree with parents ruling over their kids and i don’t

because i am going to get what i want and i am not aiming too high,my stories are good enough and even this story, please leave me alone, i want the perfect life

i crave the perfect life, and as long as i don’t buy a cat, i am fine

M covered in blood and attempting to roll a cigarette throughout but failing utterly.

M: Blood dries much quicker than you think. It is hell on cotton and wool blends, but once it's dried on the skin, you can either chip it off or just rub it off, so that's cool. (beat) You know, after a while you start to be able to smell if someone is anemic. It's crazy, I know, but when the metallic perfume entertains the thought processes for so long, you tend to notice when something changes...

M realizes he is divulging too much and snaps out of it.


M (contd): I always feel like a greasy kebab at times like this. Maybe it's something in the electric meat shaver thing that just evokes memories of drunken nights and mysterious bruises acting as battle scars, compared between those who saw, and those who pretend they had. (beat) I feel a kind of aggressive nostalgia for those debaucherous days. I would do anything to be still under that one, singular light source, barely being able to stand due to the altered states, blacking out Blake's eyes and standing so close to him, that with the right music we would be sharing a slow dance. The air was thick and Miss Love bleaching her hair in the sink provided the perfect musings of life and love. We stumbled. We laughed. We fell. Now only I stumble. I pretend to smile. And they fall. They all fall. When I am King, you will be first against the wall.

M again realizes he is going too far and dials it back


M (contd): Some people suggest that human meat would taste similar to pork because of the similarity of blood supply and flesh density, blah blah blah. They're wrong. It's more like veal all over, but that really depends on how latent the person is, and where the meat is cut from. And who was the idiot who said the Chianti would pair well with liver?! ******* idiots. Too fatty. I wonder if the new 'Mock The Week' episode is up yet. Torrenting is a crime, I get it, but who pays for anything any more anyway? Imagine going to jail for video piracy! (laughs) God, like sharing a cell with a ****** or gang member or something, and you're there because you don't have Foxtel and you want to watch 'Game of Thrones'.


M finally decides to drop the facade of small talk and just be real*


M (contd): I'm not... normal. People don't often walk the streets covered in their neighbour's families blood. But if I take out my phone and pretend to be talking about how exciting tonight's costume party was, eyelids usually aren't battered. Normal people are too trusting.

riupert is stupid isn’t he pat



you see he gives you foxtel like a **** that he is
he is a spazzo who cares for no poor men like me
if ya like foxtel, you are ******* up to rupert yeah
and i have the internet, cause i am left leaning and care for the
welfare of the poor
if you are a foxtel addict and don’t like sport
you are ******* up to rupert, yeah, MATE yEAH YOUR A ****
i am a ****, yeah a **** to the rich
i am persuading young udders
to help the homeless yeah
you see rich people haven/t got support from me
they just want to sucjk up to rupert buddy
i hate fotel, i prefer internet and fetch tv
it might be sort of rupert, but it is not you see
i am cool, cause i teased the men
cause as i say i am growing young
i hate rupert, i hate people who say i am a ****
cause i am the only one who really really really cares for the poor
not like these men who tease in clubs
they just wanna budge
and then you get a **** who says don’t worry about brian
cause brian allan is a cool kid to a muck around
and gets teased by whoever who wants to
i had fun teasing this man, ,cause it spoiled his perfect little world
i frowned at him like a cool kid
he frowned at me, like a little angry man
i said 100 times i don’t do behaving
so if ya want me t6 behave ya can kiss my curvy but, goodbye
anyone who gtries to hassle me
are all a bunch old cranky
remember the song
hail to the yobbos the yobbos the yobbos
hail to the yobbos and the old misery guts cranky men
hail to the yobbos the yobbos the yobbos
hail to the yobbos, and the ole cranky misery guts men
you see those men just want to be left alone left alone left alone
those men just want to be left alone
cause they are old misery guts men
so i don’t do this behaving myself
it is only for nerds
i like partying, even if it’s at home
if sydney win i will party party party
even have a champagne cause that’ll be cool
hail to the yobbos the yobbos the yobbos
hail to the yobbos and the old cranky man
this man at the club said go home and play with ya computer
hail he’s old cranky man, who wants none of us young dudes
to spoil his perfect little world
my middle name is fun, my last name is control
you say i am an alien, cause i am an allan
alien from the planet fun to help poor handle life
who cares about the rich, they have money, duuuudes
i am a cool kid to the poor, but if i haven’t got enough money
i don’t give, but i am left leaning labor voting
HEY TONY ABBOTT GIVE US A GO
STOP HELPING THE RICH GET ME ON TV

Captured in the psych ward part 5


You see Ron cooper and his ex Sally went on a cruise around noumea and New Caledonia and they really enjoyed that a lot and while they were on that cruise, brad was in a fowl tenoer cause everyone was watching the shows he doesn't wanna watch and Robert told brad that in life **** happens and brad said ******* and started to argue with the nurses saying he is the Buddhist messiah and needs to be given a special drug to take him to nirvana and he had a smart alek nurse say, I ain't religious, so I don't care and I think nirvana is a rock band not eternity ok patty walked in and said, I wanna see the nurse. And when the nurse came patty said, I have just came from Washington DC
And I saw president Obama and introduced mysrlf and he was proud to meet good old George Washington. You see. Well anyway thank you for that ticket to the states, it was muck appreciated and
Martin Kelly was banging the wall very loudly and saying you **** you **** you **** and Anne who was on the other side said as she walked past said you fucken stop banging on the wall you kid grabber or phedaphile yeah stop banging ya phedaphile or I wlll bash you up, I am going to bash you up, you see you can't hide here forever, one day the hospital will say your fit to go home but when I see you our there. Mate I will bash ya ****, ya stupid ****** phedaphile and Robert got up to take a **** and they bought lunch out and a fight between Anne and brad and Susan started to erupt and the nurses were having a hard time, they had to bring in the doctors with the ****** and lock them in their rooms abs Ron and and Sally are having a great time in New Caledonia waking around and Ron'a leg is getting better and you see Ron and Sally are really beginning to hit it off as they are in a pub having a scotch and back at the HDU. Brad and Anne were cursing at each other through the walls but both wanted enough power to break the walls
But they couldn't hear each other cause thru were on the opposite sides if each other and Susan went our and said shut up abe went over to the TV and said to Robert, we are watching TV, please don't talk to me. I ain't into talking to kids, so just keep your conversation. To a minimum and Patru roe said.  How about you shut up Susan, Robert is a funny little kid, I line him and dusab said ******* ya **** and then Kate walked around the whole psych ward and as she passed brads room she said. Why don't you shut the **** up snd Ron and Sally were having inter course in the cruise and
The new patient was being driven by the police to the HDU but this was going to be a strange situation you see young 19 year old jack Drendlw had ******* a 10 year old who teased him and it ended up killing him abd to that day the police have been trying to crack this ****** case and the boys parents were told that jack is mentally ill and isn't going to jail
And going  to the HDU and the boys parents couldn't except it so they stole a police paddy wagon dressed up as police men and took jack hostage saying he is going to the HDU and instead they took jack into
Their house and tied him up in their sons room and this was part of their plan to really make Jack suffer for what he did /and this is going to be sweet revenge and back at the hospital when they got the phonecall saying that jack wasn't there, well they rang the police and yes they knew where he lived but it would be a nightmare to get there and the next day Ron and Sally's ship was arriving into Sydney harbour and when they arrived there, Ron said goodbye to Sally who lived in Sydney as she drove him to the airport and then Ron boarded the plane for Melbourne and when he touched down, in Melbourne Ron gor his luggage and gor a taxi home
And dropped off his bags and before he unpacked he put the 3-00 news on nine and heard about jack being tortured by his victims parents but the police said jack was supposed to be at the rmh HDU  and Ron went straight there to see if everything is alright and he got theu and clocked in and went to the HDU and said what had happened, how did thus one fall through the cracks and the nurses seid that the family of the victim didn't like the idea of him bring sent here. Ya see it's too nice for him and Ron said they can't think they taking the law in their own hands like this and Ron went into the HDU to check our the patients and
Saw Robert and patty in rte common room and Susan and Kate knitting together in the dining room and Kate asked how was your cruise and Ron said, it was ****** good and my leg is healed and are you feeling alright
And they said yeah and then went to solitary to say hi to Martin and George and Anne and they said ******* **** and ajnne said did ya enjoy ya cruise and Ron said I Did and them said hi to brad and brad said ******* and when he found our it was Ron, the first question he asked was how was your cruise and do you know it's great that you can go on a cruise whole we are locked in here, you see you are like fucken Rupert Murdoxh with those poor foxtel suckers and then the dinner cart was coming out and Ron clocked off and went home and made some stir fry
And Singapore noodles and looked our the window and two young people were having a domestic and at first Ron said, I roll leave then alone but suddenly the bloke gor out
His gun and threatened to **** her and calked the cops and went down
To save the woman and the man has paranoid schizophrenia which was ****** obvious and it took 25 minutes for the cops to arrive and when they did the man was arrested and sent to the staton and the lady thanked Ron and Ron asked are you going to be ok and and she said yeah. And Ron went up yo her unit and sat on the couch and watched the TV and fell asleep on the couch
He has had a hard day


Sent from my iPhone

brian has a knife to his neck



today is a horrible day for brian, well, not that horrible, well he went to

the baseball, with cath and michelle from his work, and they all went for

the local team which was the canberra cavalry, and every time the cavalry

scored a home run, brian, cath and michelle would cheer very loudly,

cavalry clap clap clap, cavalry clap clap clap, cavalry clap clap clap

and the cavalry didn’t disappoint their supporters in this match, and

then the hit a beautiful home run and cath caught it, what a absolute whopper

and she said, that she will give it to her 12 year old son, and then daniel sat near

brian and said you are too woosey to be a man like this, how about we leave now

so i can hold a knife to your neck, i don’t want to harm you, i just want to have

a piece of you with each of us, brian said, no, i am watching the baseball, can’t

you understand this, and daniel said, no, i can’t understand why you can’t come

with me, you are too woosey to be a family person anyway, buddy, and brian just sat there

and then young micheal sat next to brian, and he had a little pocket knife, with him

and mate, he was very inexperienced with knives, like he often put a knife at people’s

necks, as if it was a special game or something, and after the game was over, brian

said goodbye to cath and michelle and ran off towards the bus, and daniel followed him

with his pocket knife, if brian stopped, the knife would go straight through his neck, and

as usual, brian was scared that daniel was going to **** him, and ran home saying

leave me alone leave me alone, i am a cool kid, i went out with people from my work

and i don’t deserve what you are doing to me, and brian got home and locked his door

and daniel yelled through his door, saying open up little woosey, you aren’t like the adults,

open up little woosey, you aren’t like adults, and brian went to bed, and the next morning

brian got up and went to work and micheal was in the front, playing with his pocket knife

while daniel was in the back, playing with his pocket knife, and brian hates the idea

of dying, but every time daniel picked up his pocket knife, he would hold it to brian’s neck and

say, come on little woosey, allow me to stab you, man, allow me to stab you, and brian’s mate

from 1989  was screaming through houses,,saying shut up, every time brian tried to be a family

person, despite not really meaning to do that, he just did that to make the other young dudes to like him

and brian massaged nicheals neck, and micheal said, stop it, or i will get this knife, and put it right to

your neck and then daniel jumped into the back seat and said, come on little woosey, except me

as i am holding this knife to ya, i want to scare you off from being a family person, cause youy

are too woosey to be a family person anyway, brian, and daniel picked up the pocket knife and

said, i will stab you woosey, brian said, i am a famous family person, and daniel said, yeah, a

family person to a ****, yeah and famous only to your mothers eyes, only, if you try and be like us, brian

i will get this knife and stab you in the neck, cause you are a little trouble making woosey, and

brian said, leave me alone, i am reformed, i haven’t done a crime for years, and this person

said, no you are not reformed buddy, be like us buddy, your not reformed brian, brian said

i am reformed, it’s daniel and micheal that need to be reformed, and you need to be reformed

too, and then daniel held a knife to brian’s neck and said you ain’t a man, your too woosey

to be a man, your not reformed brian, and brian said, i am so reformed, i don’t need this

awful treatment i am getting from you, you see micheal was playing with his pocket knife

he looked like bart simpson, and daniel kept on holding the knife to brian’s head saying

no your not, you ain’t reformed, buddy, you are a little woosey, and brian screamed out

I AM NOT A LITTLE WOOSEY, I AM FAMILY PERSON, WOULD YOU STOP TREATING ME

LIKE A HOOLIGAN, I HATE HAVING A POCKET KNIFE TO MY HEAD, IT’S NOT A FUCKEN PRISON

brian was horrified that daniel was going to **** him, and micheal wasn’t that gentle with his pocket knife either

and brian said, it’s not a prison, and then said, please don’t treat me like a little woosey, for i am a family person

and then brian jumped out of the window, saying, I AM REFORMED, please leave me the **** alone, and

then brian took off through the paddock, back to his house, and never saw daniel and micheal again,

good riddens to bad ******* thought brian, as brian sat in his house watching foxtel thinking about how stupid micheal and

daniel are, the end

the fun times as a kid for brian allan from canberra




you see it was fun it was great, every single day

i went to the mall to muck around, and i heard

men calling me a great big ugly snout, oh yeah yeah, yeah mate yeah

and then i wore my screaming jets t shirt and i played my air guitar so much

and then i went home and did my washing, and i stunk of laundry powder oh yeah

and i came down to the mall and the young dudes said

welcome brian to the mall, welcome welcome welcome

and then i spoke to the music shop owner about all the latest music that he played

ya see young ronnie was asked by me to tie me up on my bed

i wanted that because of my previous life, yeah mate yeah it was soooo cool

and then i played with my mates, and chased brendan up the tree

and he said, brian, be a kid, don’t be an adult, oh no way

i said, fine as my brother was looking at me showing me what a starer looked like

i wanted to party, so i went into the pub and watched some kids playing pool

and they all sang the U2 song, mysterious ways, while i was watching

i didn’t really wanna stare so i went to the dance floor and put my body up to the gorgeous chicks

and we danced to songs like what’s love got to do gotta do with it

you see i went to this pub after spending some time playing computer games at the bowling alley

and then headed off saying men don’t do that, that’s what kids do, i might head to the pub

and i met some really cool kids, but i was a tad troubled because as soon as people

said go home, i said neh, i am still not ******* off mate

they used the words, ******* turk, so we can get on with our lives

and i said, i am still not ******* off mate, dad said, ******* coward

which forced me to tease my father heavily, but i didn’t wanna do that, it was the chemical in my f..n brain

like the chemical in my brain which forced me to listen to the kids say, what’s that, your like us

well, i might heard one kid say this, but, really i shouldn’t expect this

i like when people sing in groups, but dads not around anymore, the old hags dead, but i remember dad

said what’s that brian what’s that brian what’s that brian, i liked that, why did dad change

i liked the voices from mum, your like our fucken kids, but that was a voice from my brain chemical

i was having visions of my brother saying, you are like us, when i was on rampage on grabbing kids

but i didn’t want to do that, it was my crazy chemical in my brain

i want to find a cure for death, so i used my cronus belief to give brian allan the power to know dads next life

dad is betty campbell, i remember stealing some rope and tying myself up in a toilet and pretending to be kidnapped

i remember patrick, was my best mate, and as i entered the mall he clapped his hands saying

welcome brian welcome to the mall, i was the one that stopped kids tying themselves up on youtube, it was just me

i didn’t wanna be encouraged to tie the kids up, so i told websites to untie our youth, because it attracts phedaphiles, don’t ya think

you see in the wrong hands youtube is dangerous, and kids are only little, mind you, some kids can look after themselves

but i had to do that because kids were playing tie up games, which i used to play, but i don’t want kids copying me, but

it forces kids to get themselves into traps, and I SAVED THEM, WITH MY BARE HANDS

youtube is way cooler and i think FOXTEL really doesn’t have anything like youtube, and i remember in 2004 i said i go on the computer

and google a fertiliser press on it a number of times and instant cash from the internet money tree and i started hearing voices taking my helper away

ya see i had this poem i wrote, saying ….  teena totter teena totter 33 and there was this man from toastmasters trying to take my man as i was

sitting at the mall drinking a coca cola, i was being a reformed man, instead of beer, i drank coke, because when i was drinking i was a real terror

but it wasn’t all my fucken fault, ya see in the town centre tavern, a man bought me and him a jug of beer but he fucken tore strips off me forcing me

to look up in the sky saying god or buddha please save me now, and he fucken yelled at me, saying your not like the kids, and i saw peter sargent, an old

neighbourhood friend, but he died and one man was teasing me at the bar because the barman only let me do a tab just for a cricket match, i liked that

cricket match so much, but clubs don’t do that much anymore, i was having fun, actually i was having voices in my head about the canberra people

making me be an adult to a ****, sit there brian and drink your beer watch the families mucking around and then die, it might be because i stole people’s money

and ran off leaving him lying in the ditch, i feel bad about that now, steve told me, i shouldn’t have done that, and in 2004, pats voice said teena totter teena totter

35, i was kidnapped by a demon, and i made it through alive and i was crazy back in the 90s, the chemical in my brain was forcing patrick’s voice in my head

and i cheered on some dude’s kid and he said, ya leave my kid alone ya little mongrel and i started teasing him calling him a worry wought, and as he left, he said

next time i see ya, i will punch you, your not a shy person, buddy, but he never did, but still i have to watch my f..n back, but as long as i don’t **** him off again

it should be alright and one time at the charnwood inn, i was watching the choirboys, i lost my wallet and smokes and some **** grabbed me outside and i thought he was abducting me,

so i tried to push my legs up, and he said, ok we’ll leave ya alone buddy and i got a free taxi ride home, and i was at the ANU bar watching a band and this man started tapping his foot

and i thought he was cool, but the chemical in my brain made a little tease, coming  out of him, but i really thought that band was cool, despite me looking like i was jittering

and also when i was bowling as we had a club meal, i was dancing on the floor with kathryn and the patrons thought i was the coolest dude around, and i partied all the way through

bowling, especially when i won trophies, yeah this was rad, and i remember i was bowling back in 1990 and i grabbed two boys of bill, who was our player and i wanted to ****** them

as well as i went to the basketball and grabbed a boy near the dunny, and grabbed frank’s friend robert, it lead to tie up games, but i don’t want anyone like me, ya see

but i remember singing, hey hows it going, sorry i can’t get through, just leave ya name and ya number and i’ll get back to you, and i sang the whole song at the mall as well

as teasing the men, saying i am a kid and your a man, i am a kid and your a man, you see i remember having visions of being treated like a hooligan ya know playing cool for yeah mate

yeah kids, as i sat there, the forces of the paranormal world will take away my family person, saying, your not a family person anymore, you are now a hooligan, and i hear pat’s voice

saying, come on brainy party, and i said, hi pat over the phone and he always told me to look after myself as he hi-5ed me, but there was this girl named louise, well i got memories

of life with pat at the poetry slam through louise, but she got ******* when people yelled at her, my motto is, i have the right to go out and have fun, like a real cool kid, that i was

but there is a worry that i will lose what i have at the poetry slam as far as losing people cheering me on, but i have to stick at my guns at the poetry slam and read with pride

for the poems i wrote myself, and i like dad, but i hate the voice saying, dads not around anymore brian, i know that, i say to the voice, but i don’t think he understands me

and mcdonalds was my favourite food, until it made me *****

I don't own many dresses
or pairs of shoes
Just a few special dresses
that make me look pretty
and a pair or two, of shoes
sandals for summer
sneakers in Winter
ten times the amount
I could have spent
was spent on you

I troll around a second hand store
because I think I'm unique
because extra funds bring you hope
denying things are bleak

Food on the table
a roof over your head
the latest Xbox game
cable Internet
my birthday laptop
you're insulting me on
Foxtel
112 Channels
While you sit
under a feather blanket
as others in the world
have yet to be fed
Breakfast, Lunch or Dinner

What's that you said?

You don't care what I think?
I don't know what it's like?
I'm destroying  your sense
of adventure?

Why don't you twist the knife?

Disrespected for my opinion
when you're green as new grass
Freedom most certainly is a right
but as all rights, it is earned
don't take what is not asked

I lost a most precious gift
because I could not comprehend
the lessons I was trying to teach
were so hard to defend

I'm not asking you to obey me
because I absolute rule your domain
I'm begging you to heed my wisdom

I have a right to remain

The absolute authority
on Life, an expert on how it unfolds
My body agrees by the strecthmarks
it holds,
My heart agrees in its tightness
to the breath it exhales
My soul exalts in its freedom
to breath trueness to its tales

I'm not just wanting to be a parent
I'm wanting to be a voice
a monument to mistakes made
a whisper of choice
A landmark in uncertain territory
a safe haven in a storm

If you defy Wisdom
from absolute tragedy
I become a useless memory

and I'm nothing but a receptacle
for you teenage angst

I'm am nothing

I am the norm

I was well
When I had Foxtel in my flat at the back
Of my parents house
I did volunteer work and I went on bush walks with leap frog adventures
And I did performing arts
I was talking to people on the bus
I was well
I was happy and as soon as I started to power walk I started doing things wrong
I thought the police were going to look at me as being a great volunteering man
Who wanted to work in a good job
I could do it I just needed to relax at the end of the day and watch Foxtel
And I killed the cat and the police were looking down on me saying I did something wrong and I need to be punnished and I wanted people to understand I wasn’t a criminal
But that is what they treated me like
And I stayed there for 4 weeks and I got out
And I was saying weird things but I didn’t really want to be as sick as I was
And I got back into volunteer work and 3 years later I moved out but I had no Foxtel
So I had to watch shows on free to air
And I did and after that I got iiNet internet and it was like Foxtel and I enjoyed it but I had a negative friend even when I worked I tried to ignore him and started working 3 days a week and I was working at ainslie village and on construction sites and actew and I loved being a working man but I was running to and from work and doing art in front of the television and after a while I was throwing everything out of the balcony because I was hearing voices and the police put me in the paddy wagon and off to the psych ward where people treating me like I was an idiot and renald told them I like doing art which I did in there and some girl held a plastic fork to my arm and people said if I come to the psych ward I have to cope with the problems and everyone wasn’t very helpful with me
Never again but I could have those problems again if I don’t get help
I was well

ted bundy traps the people of hawker, last night by cutting their power in a half hour blackout

and the hawker residents are either walking around with torches or simply struggling, and ted

bundy is enjoying this a lot, you see he really wanted to silence the mood of brian allan’s vivid imagination

but brian believes in the cosmos and he is sending cronus up there to work on returning hawkers power

and silence the cosmic criminal ted bundy forever and ever, but ted bundy wanted to silence brian, as his mind

as his mind is trying to avoid the teasing of the past, like, today, ted bunny was trying to get a kid to smile at brian,

saying, your like us now man, because you have an imagination and brian said, bundy, i want you to free us hawker

residents, by returning their power or i will get a keg of methane and pour it right through your head, and then cronus

said, i have kidnapped cronus away from his boy, ya know, your theory of mens kids watch the sport and youtubes

better than foxtel, ya see you will suffer brian allan and suffer forever and ever and ever with the other hawker residents

and you will miss your precious baseball match on television, and brian forced cronus to please give hawker back their power,

please give back our power, cronus worked harder and harder to get hawkers power back, but ted bunny’s power won’t budge

and ted bundy is laughing from up in mars saying foolish hawker earthlings, i have put a dark side into each one of their houses

they are tripping over each other, cool as, meanwhile cronus is trying and trying to get hawkers power back, saying please come back,

please come back, while ted bundy said, no i don’t want it to come back, hawker will be in the dark forever, the foolish earthlings they are

they are trapped in my wing, then cronus noticed some damp ***** rocks which was from the river and unknown to cronus, ted bundy

set these wild waters free to knock the electricity pole over and cause rain thunder and lightning, and cronus put 2 and 2 together

and cronus has discovered what ted bunny has been doing to cause cyclones and lightning causing blackouts in hawker, and cronus

worked and worked to restore the power back, by putting his foot in the muddy mars hollow and sliding down it, and when he arrived

at the base, cronus put a rock in the thunder break, and ding **** the power is back on, but ted bunny ran away, saying ha ha ha ha

i am causing problems for cronus and earthlings, and this will happen and happen again, so try and listen to climate change and

keep a torch handy, because ted bundy isn’t the only evil we have up here, causing havoc like this

When I was living at home, like when I first was living at home I was becoming very bad with dad untill when dad came out the back to either fix up the pool or sit in the chair or hose the garden or get rid of the weeds out from the cracks in the cement and I enjoyed watching dad work even if I wasn't working much but dad was a very busy man as he went to buy a cappuccino at the shop with his mates and blowing leaves out of the cement into the trash pack
And dad will always make sure our computers were safe like away from hacking and if we need to download a new program he will do it with no problems and I was regretting fighting dad because he helped us get in touch with the world
Which most dads don't do that much and dad used to mow the lawn and he was very friendly with the community around us
Me and my mum and dad used to go to the club to have a meal and I used to like talking to mum and dad
It was good that dad helped me because I wasn't really the best role model but I liked dad when he bought a wine called passion pop but he wasn't really wanting me to drink it because of my problem with alcohol
And also I enjoyed dad cooking the barbecue on Christmas Eve when my Aunty came with her daughters and we did a present swap and I watched the muppet family Christmas on Foxtel and then I went out to talk to dad while he cooked it
When I played santa at Vinnies
I often made Christmas Eve the last day and I went home and got myself ready for Christmas Eve present exchanging and I wanted to be around my family so much I put their television on the Christmas carols from Melbourne and dad liked to comment on it even if he was making fun of hifive when they were on stage and I liked dad doing that and when the grand finals were on afl and nrl I always told dad the score and we went to the club for dinner
After the afl grand final
And on nye dad me and mum went to see the new year in with people from my bowling team and we danced as well
Well we partied too
You see the sad news is dad is dead but I liked everything we did together and I know I should move on but that is easy to say when people don't judge you
Anyway at Christmas I think of the BBQ that dad liked to cook
To make our Christmas great
Now dad has moved on to Betty Campbell and I might not see dad in this life ever again
But I still keep up to date with the Campbell's on instagram
To understand why dad died
I wasn't the easiest son to get on with

One day there was a man named William who had schitzophrenia and autism and
He lived with his parents John and flur and growing up William was being bullied in an unusual way like it looked as though they were taking the fun out of his life and William really wanted to put of his mistakes behind him and live safely with his mum and dad but as William went out people tried to rob him
Which made William upset saying these thugs stole my holiday money because I want to go on holidays but I can't pass these cowardly thugs but
As he got home his mum cooked a nice chicken stir fry
And William was thinking this is nice having him and his two parents enjoying a meal together and then William walked down to his room to watch FOXTEL to make him feel better because he wanted kids of his own but instead he had his mum and dad who were very nice to him and these thugs at the mall who yelled at him if he didn't give him any cash because William was saving for a holiday and he had no idea of where he wanted to go but he wanted to save money and as people asked him for cash and took offence when they didn't get any William said why don't people want me to go on a holiday and when he explained this to his mum and dad they said just learn to relax because I am sure
Nobody really thinks that but William was really upset and sometimes he would accidentally hit the people he loved because of what went on at the mall and William knew his parents loved him but you see he wanted to save money for a great holiday so he could have fun and meet some new people
But William didn't work unless it was volunteer work but he had the pension which gave him enough holiday money to really enjoy himself somewhere and have enough money for accomodation and souvenirs and food but it was taking a while to save the holiday money
And he thought he was being bullied out of enjoying the high life because with just the pension it is hard to live the high life and when someone robbed him William would say
Why do you want to steal my holiday money, don't you think I deserve a flaming holiday ya know get away from **** like you and then they reached into his back pocket and stole $10-00 and William said give me back my holiday money you filthy coward and then they got out a pocket knife and held it to Williams neck and said I am going to steal this money and the next money and every time we meet heee you will give me money and if that is your holiday money, well that is your problem isn't it and William said
I ain't going to give you money
Especially my holiday money
I want to go on a holiday and
William's parents were really upset and tried to say you must try and get him out of your life
Because if you want to go on holidays get away from ****
And william said I can't say no
Because he is tough and he will bash me up and i had fun at school, I want out of this tricky situation but watta we gonna do
And Williams parents both said we need to feed him and help him get away from **** like them even if it is hard to do that
And every time William saw these people he tried to hide because really being a school bully is one thing but stealing holiday money off a vonerable man is uncalled for and William became fitter and fitter as he was trying to get away from voices of his bullies and he yelled out stop trying to get my holiday money leave me alone
And his parents made sure they were always home when he got home and his dad retired early to make sure he was there for William and this was a way for William to rid his head from these horrible voices
He just wants to go on holidays

i am a muck around from 9 am to 11.50 pm kind of guy


you see there are few things i hate in life

but one thing is falling asleep in the middle of the day

and staying up at night, i hate that, i hate that all so very much

you see i prefer to do my tapestry, even if i look lazy

i still prefer to do my tapestry during the day

because it’s much easier to sleep after midnight

so what if people are laughing at my old mates theory

if you go to bed early you can turn into a pumpkin

mind you i don’t want to be forced, by the force to go to bed

but as long as i get my creativity done, i don’t really care

you see staying up past midnight is so kids stuff

i want my medication to make sure i don’t do that

for me, if i stay up after midnight, i would be a hooligan

and i am not a hooligan, i am a family person

sometimes i sleep on the bed

sometimes i sleep on my chair

but i sleep better after midnight

i had fun being with my mates as a kid

i just want this whole forcing me to sleep, or stay awake to stop

i am a 46 year old man now, i need my beauty sleep

and despite that i like to muck with the young dudes

i am 46, i have spurs in my feet, and fungal affected toes

i want to forget about the bad stuff i did and take it out through creativity

i don’t want to take old lady nanna naps or be an old drunk in the club

i am an artist and a writer and a youtube entertainer

and i want to move on with my life

i still like heavy metal, but i don’t like the trouble that surrounds it

i still like sport, but i ain’t into playing that either

i am hearing my old mates voice trying to get me to stat up all night with him

that is one thing i don’t want to do, in life you need your sleep

i find youtube is better than foxtel, i watch it from 9.00 am to 11.50 pm

then i go to bed, after i do my youtube party show, if it is the weekend

so stop the force telling me to sleep all day and stay up all night

i don’t do that anymore, i am reformed to being a family person

a real christmas man, i love carols nights and christmas tree lightings

i do enough, stop trying to keep me up all night, i am reformed now

never to stray away from family life a gain

i like watching youtube
but not shows that i hate
people tried to convince me to get netflix
to make my life so good
so now i am sharing it with my mum
and i gave her the money
i watched shows like
good witch
*** education
baby
heartland
the ranch
one day at a time
fuller house
shameless
greenleaf
dear white people
mr iglesias
and a movie titled night school
and many many more
netflix is very good
the shows are great
and it gets me away from the crap
on free to air television and for sport i have kayo
where i can watch
Indian premier league cricket
AFL
NRL
BBL and WBBL CRICKET women and men
Aleague soccer
NFL
NHL
rugby union
baseball
basketball NBA NBL
you see i get good use out of netflix and kayo
and way cheaper than FOXTEL
i am a cool adult, man

Daniel Sanderson was my best friend
Daniel Sanderson was my best friend
Daniel Sanderson was my best friend
Till he started to knock people over
Daniel Sanderson was my best friend
Daniel Sanderson was my best friend
Daniel Sanderson was my best friend
Till he started to knock people over
You see Daniel will use his shoulder
And ram it into someone’s shoulder
Knock them over and stand over him
Yes I think it is wrong so I don’t want to be his friend no more
Because he would abuse people for
Reading the news
He would abuse people for looking at rich computer stores
He would abuse people who buy Foxtel and **** Rupert’s ****
You see I don’t want to be his friend oh no
Daniel Sanderson was my best friend
Daniel Sanderson was my best friend
Daniel Sanderson was my best friend
Till he started to knock people over
Daniel Sanderson was my best friend
Daniel Sanderson was my best friend
Daniel Sanderson was my best friend
Till he started to knock people over
You see he would go to the raiders
To support the Melbourne Storm
Saying he has the powers to make the storm win
He would avoid civic because of the rough people around because he feels they would bash him up oh yeah
He would watch the soccer
Cause that is the game he loves
He would watch the nba because
That basketball is stronger than Australian
He would watch old shows but hate it when they talk back at him
He thinks the mall crowd are mental
When they walk at him
I understood it and I feel for him
But to me he is a loser oh yeah
Daniel Sanderson was my best friend
Daniel Sanderson was my best friend
Daniel Sanderson was my best friend
Till he started to knock people over
Daniel Sanderson was my best friend
Daniel Sanderson was my best friend
Daniel Sanderson was my best friend
Till he started to knock people over
Since September 11 he would dream
To wear a t shirt saying these simple words I love osama because he flew a plane through the twin towers oh yeah
His t shirt talked back at him
You see he started that as Americans
Were driving him nuts
So he thought they would drive a plane through the buildings oh yeah
And ruin the rich man’s world
He knocked men over for saying
It was bad especially when he thought
It was ****** good
So if he had one he would wear his t shirt I love osama with a lot of pride
Oh yeah let’s celebrate the greatest day in America’s history what a bunch of crap
Daniel Sanderson was my best friend
Daniel Sanderson was my best friend
Daniel Sanderson was my best friend
Till he started to knock people over
Daniel Sanderson was my best friend
Daniel Sanderson was my best friend
Daniel Sanderson was my best friend
Till he started to knock people over
My helping wasn’t working oh no

smste2
Eeezy on da Haardware!
smste2's Avatar
Who owns CNN, NBC, MSN, FOX? Some facts...
So ya think we have a "free press" eh? Check out who owns who, and who owns what you think...

GENERAL ELECTRIC --(donated 1.1 million to GW Bush for his 2000 election campaign)

Television Holdings:
* NBC: includes 13 stations, 28% of US households.
* NBC Network News: The Today Show, Nightly News with Tom Brokaw, Meet the Press, Dateline NBC, NBC News at Sunrise.
* CNBC business television; MSNBC 24-hour cable and Internet news service (co-owned by NBC and Microsoft); Court TV (co-owned with Time Warner), Bravo (50%), A&E (25%), History Channel (25%).
The "MS" in MSNBC
means microsoft
The same Microsoft that donated 2.4 million to get GW bush elected.

Other Holdings:
* GE Consumer Electronics.
* GE Power Systems: produces turbines for nuclear reactors and power plants.
* GE Plastics: produces military hardware and nuclear power equipment.
* GE Transportation Systems: runs diesel and electric trains.
==================================================

WESTINGHOUSE / CBS INC.
Westinghouse Electric Company, part of the Nuclear Utilities Business Group of British Nuclear Fuels (BNFL)

Whose #1 on the Board of Directors? None other than:
Frank Carlucci (of the Carlyle Group) - Those who have seen Fahrenheit 911, or any other Bush-Investigation flick knows the Carlyle group well.

Television Holdings:
* CBS: includes 14 stations and over 200 affiliates in the US.
* CBS Network News: 60 minutes, 48 hours, CBS Evening News with Dan Rather, CBS Morning News, Up to the Minute.
* Country Music Television, The Nashville Network, 2 regional sports networks.
* Group W Satellite Communications.
Other Holdings:
* Westinghouse Electric Company: provides services to the nuclear power industry.
* Westinghouse Government Environmental Services Company: disposes of nuclear and hazardous wastes. Also operates 4 government-owned nuclear power plants in the US.
* Energy Systems: provides nuclear power plant design and maintenance.
================================================== ==============

VIACOM INTERNATIONAL INC.
Television Holdings:
* Paramount Television, Spelling Television, MTV, VH-1, Showtime, The Movie Channel, UPN (joint owner), Nickelodeon, Comedy Central, Sundance Channel (joint owner), Flix.
* 20 major market US stations.
Media Holdings:
* Paramount Pictures, Paramount Home Video, Blockbuster Video, Famous Players Theatres, Paramount Parks.
* Simon & Schuster Publishing.

=============================================
DISNEY / ABC / CAP (donated 640 thousand to GW's 2000 campaign)
Television Holdings:
* ABC: includes 10 stations, 24% of US households.
* ABC Network News: Prime Time Live, Nightline, 20/20, Good Morning America.
* ESPN, Lifetime Television (50%), as well as minority holdings in A&E, History Channel and E!
* Disney Channel/Disney Television, Touchtone Television.
Media Holdings:
* Miramax, Touchtone Pictures.
* Magazines: Jane, Los Angeles Magazine, W, Discover.
* 3 music labels, 11 major local newspapers.
* Hyperion book publishers.
* Infoseek Internet search engine (43%).
Other Holdings:
* Sid R. Bass (major shares) crude oil and gas.
* All Disney Theme Parks, Walt Disney Cruise Lines.
================================================== ====

TIME-WARNER TBS - AOL (donated 1.6 million to GW's 2000 campaign)
America Online (AOL) acquired Time Warner–the largest merger in corporate history.
Television Holdings:
* CNN, HBO, Cinemax, TBS Superstation, Turner Network Television, Turner Classic Movies, Warner Brothers Television, Cartoon Network, Sega Channel, TNT, Comedy Central (50%), E! (49%), Court TV (50%). * Largest owner of cable systems in the US with an estimated 13 million subscribers.
Media Holdings:
* HBO Independent Productions, Warner Home Video, New Line Cinema, Castle Rock, ****** Tunes, Hanna-Barbera.
* Music: Atlantic, Elektra, Rhino, Sire, Warner Bros. Records, EMI, WEA, Sub Pop (distribution) = the world’s largest music company.
* 33 magazines including Time, Sports Illustrated, People, In Style, Fortune, Book of the Month Club, Entertainment Weekly, Life, DC Comics (50%), and MAD Magazine.
Other Holdings:
* Sports: The Atlanta Braves, The Atlanta Hawks, World Championship Wrestling.

================================================== =====
NEWS CORPORATION LTD. / FOX NETWORKS (Rupert Murdoch) (donations see bottom note)
Television Holdings:
* Fox Television: includes 22 stations, 50% of US households.
* Fox International: extensive worldwide cable and satellite networks include British Sky Broadcasting (40%); VOX, Germany (49.9%); Canal Fox, Latin America; FOXTEL, Australia (50%); STAR TV, Asia; IskyB, India; Bahasa Programming Ltd., Indonesia (50%); and News Broadcasting, Japan (80%).
* The Golf Channel (33%).
MEDIA HOLDINGS:
* Twentieth Century Fox, Fox Searchlight.
* 132 newspapers (113 in Australia alone) including the New York Post, the London Times and The Australian.
* 25 magazines including TV Guide and The Weekly Standard.
* HarperCollins books.
OTHER HOLDINGS:
* Sports: LA Dodgers, LA Kings, LA Lakers, National Rugby League.
* Ansett Australia airlines (Since bankrupt), Ansett New Zealand airlines.
* Rupert Murdoch: Board of Directors, Philip Morris (USA).

(Phillip Morris donated 2.9 million to George W Bush in 2000)

Gotta love the free press!!

I don't wish to hear right now,
that ****** whirring from Foxtel,
It can always record but can't capture,
anything but final moments, me & her.
**** all the Game of Thrones episodes,
Its her eyes that will never leave me alone.

Hello dudes and welcome to Jupiter moon
And today we are talking about my schizophrenic journey
You see when I was young I thought I was really cool untill a
Bully came along and took my cool away, by stealing my lunch and giving me a fruit box full of wee and locking me in the school store room and always trying to steal my wallet and teasing me as if I have no right to ask for it back and being pushed into unsafe *** but I never did that, you know fearing aids kind of thing, I did things I never wanted to do, which I don’t want to tell you but it never worked because after school I saw some friends who I wanted to talk to at the let’s course in pialligo and because of that I was bullied because I never mucked in the car, mate I am not shy but I hated it then someone stole all my toy cars and smurfette and a few albums as well, and every time I got money he would be over to spend it on cigarettes and alcohol and he told me he was going  to tie me up and take my television which made me want to buy a computer and tv and foxtel which nobody could steal, and I got a bowling computer game which I told everybody and bowling, I have my own private bowling alley, I never got bullied at bowling, which was a good start and before I did bowling I joined leap frog adventures where we did bushwalking and camping and fishing and swimming in the river and once I camped outside in a cool tent, and when I say cool I mean hyp not cold and I went to Tasmania with the nationals bowling league and I wanted to start a job so I found out there was a new mental illness place in Watson and they had a kitchen in which I asked if I can cook two days a week where I chose what the people are going eat and I cooked it and charged $5.00 for eac person, and then I learnt how to do creative writing and my first write was fly burgers and I always had a poem to bring to the group
I was well liked there, nobody bullied me and I felt great, I also did acting in a play titled Urban dreaming  and then I went to Adelaide for the first time in 2009 and secondly in 2012 and I kept doing mountain climbing like travelling to Victoria’s Grampians and then I did move-speak-act and I sang an alcoholic version of 12 days of Christmas and then I did a few years of performing my cool poetry at the poetry slam, never got bullied and I did performances at the hub in Phillip and I finally saw another bully of a personal trainer and he never thought he was a bully but he was and then he went to jail, I thought the bullies who bullied me have been locked up, even Paul, who stuck nails up my bottom and when I found out he was dead I stuck him in the sun and now thanks to the NDIS I still do drama club and art and work 2 days a week at canberras merry go round, there will always be bullies around, you just need to ignore if they bully you and think your life better than them, but I am not shy, I want to enjoy life and have fun, like I loved going to watch Christmas carols, and music concerts in the park, now I view it on YouTube
See ya

When I became an adult in the 90s
I remember having a big party on the evening of Christmas Eve, when I had foxtel I used to get into the Christmas spirit by watching muppet family Christmas from 1987 and usually took 45 minutes and then when that was finished I sat outside to wait for dad to start the bbq to get it ready for our visitors to come for dinner and present opening and each year we used to have different foods on the bbq and mum made these delicious salads to have with them after her storytelling session at the church and when she got home it was before the visitors because they were usually late but when they eventually arrived we all sat down to eat talking about how our year went and dad got out this new wine for parents because I drank too much and then when dinner was made mum got out the pavlova and trifle and we all ate it up and then we opened presents and talked to each other and I needed a break because of my anxiety and I put on the carols by candlelight from Melbourne and dad used to comment how annoying the kids music was with the teenage girls who were there, and then they went into the other room to show everyone their new games or new music computer programs
And every year dad was excited about showing them and then at 11-00 the guests left and mum went to Christmas mass I didn’t go cause I am a Buddhist
It was a great Christmas with family

Today me and my father and mother
Went to Windsor to visit my aunty then to Maitland to visit mums mum and broadmeadow to visit dads mum
And dad used to love to have a beer
With my cousin which made my
Nanna mad and then went to a motel
And watched basketball and on nye
And a naked crazy person knocked on
My door asking for money and clothes and because my nanna just died I told the crazy person to get lost clown so I can watch nye events, I was smoking like a chimney that day, and a friend rang me to ask me if I want to go to Adelaide as opposed to staying at the oldies yelling at them, you see my schizophrenic was playing up, I wanted to be cool with my
Parents, I said come on dad drive me to
The airport so I can get on a plane to Adelaide and they said no and I yelled
Ya f..n c..t who do you think you are, I want to go to Adelaide to watch Barnesy
At Alberton oval but instead I watched it
On TV and I said come on dad be cool and dad said I don’t want to be cool and
I said, oh really oh my god you are such a **** dad, why don’t you want to be cool
Being cool is the no most important thing in the world and dad said bah be off with you, we should’ve left you at home, and I said yes, I much rather be in Adelaide rather than visit the olds and dad said after all I do for you, you ungrateful coward and I said what have you really done for me fool, you tried to get me in the special Olympics when it isn’t as good as the Paralympic’s because you don’t get paid, so think about it dad that is not a good idea but I am sorry and dad said no your not, your a fool, I said hang on yeah fool go home mate and then I said I like family holidays rather than parties because you can go to the shops and the footy but you dad, you aren’t cool, you just want to make sure nobody sits in your chair you big baby and my schizophrenia was making me get worked up but I just disagree with people dominating chairs it is just silly, I know they work and they ned a seat but they have seats everywhere but to dads view I was a real slob, when I was eating and then I acted out my problem I had with my parents and despite what I said they thought they were right and you see I can’t see the point with
Saying which chair is which, why can’t I felt like getting the chair and knocking it over dads head like Bart did with Homer
All I wanted to be is be cool, ya know sit anywhere not worry that ya dad will crack a phat about you sitting in his chair, what would happen if a fire came and blew up the chair and the whole house, well you have insurance but it would make you
Think dad wouldn’t budge and dad said, mate
There is no fire and I said bequiet there could be a fire, and all you care about saving your chair rather than your children
But I regret the way I acted because so I took my medication every night which made me turn into a mentally ill man but
It’s releasing verbal ***** which is basically what I was doing with dad. You see dad just wanted to be perfect and sit in his favourite seat for dinner and TV time
That is why bought foxtel so I can watch live baseball from the US but dad was worried nothing was getting me cheesed off, I just wanted to be a boys boy, a man’s man so to speak, I dominated the conversation with mums friends and mum got mad, I was trying to make new friends and he went to see me in my theatre performance and then he died just after my dad, and it was schizophrenia that made me hassle dad even if he used to say poor Briany and my illness was making me lash out at dad,