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Today I'm bleeding caffeine
headaches; with a 'z.'
Because I am acquainted with
this language & I'll **** it if I feel like it.

Tearing my own guts out &
smearing the blood around &
stepping back to watch
the finished product writhe
to the sound of a tribal drum circle
makes me feel *****.


Like I could boil til my skin bubbles &
burns away & I would never be clean again.
It makes me feel alive.

Dingy. Like dumpster corpses.
Flickery fluorescent hallways.
Cradle the graveyard when the
panel lights off themselves
one by one. by one.
by one. buy one.
& everything else is free.

You get what you get,& it's dope
but you could do better, so....
You better take what you want now
or the world will mow you down.
& you better be quick about it
cause this ***** ain't slowing down &
gives no ***** about how you feel today.

so smile, okay?
Advent Aug 2019
what are love letters for if permanent ink
doesn't entail candor
nor draws sight of the future?
but only the mere fleeting moment
of when the letter was composed?

what are love letters for if
metaphors don't suffice
and mind you,
words aren't her weakness,
despite

what are love letters for if
feelings are fleeting
flickery and
always changing
but never ices an ending

it's nothing but a sonata of promises
vows, and oaths
of I love yous
and gorgeous penmanship

of lads desperate
for love
that worships

―a.t.
Anjana nair Feb 2019
Am i not good enough?
I know that flickery flickery candles can last longer than my love for myself,
But is that why i am not good enough?
Is that why i drag a poem out of every wrong mouth,
Thinking that the mouths can feast on my words instead
Is that why the long chain of forced out words becomes the one that youd use to tie the loose ends of your worn out bag,
So that no one should really see it?
Why is my chain not a fashion accessory, but merely any accessory
Why did i tie wrap the chain around my heart and along my neck
That each heartbeat would bring a deep scar along my throat
What is it that went wrong?
My body? You say that now
That i don't fit into tight fit clothes of your gifted mind
Or, i'll wear them in your demon minds, but not in reality.
What do you know about drugs layering my body each day?
Why is this not good enough?
Is that because ive not let you see me inside out?
Why is it that i feel invisible?
Why is that my drowned self is being pushed down,
Till i am drained of all the life
And then, i am cold and blue?
Yes, i am cold and blue
And is that not good enough?

— The End —