I died that day
And have been dead since
Dead and alive
Rotting inside
Crying every second
With dry eyes

And no one cares
It's ok no one can fix it anyway
And even if they could I wouldn't let them
But I wish they wanted to
I wish

I want the sweet kiss that ends it all
I want cold fingers to take a tight grasp
And snap my life
In two

So that I can crumple to the ground
With a smile and resting eyes
Happy
Because I'm finally at peace
Finally I am at peace

Finally
If only I'd die
Finally I'd be
Finally

Ah my dark lover
buried in the shadows of my mind
yet always in sight
creeping on my blood vines
through jungles only I should know
it is there you flow
to torment me, love me
to my confession
entering into my heart source
permeating its every beat
with your eternal heat
your cloud vaporizing into my soul
meling all essence together
you have been there forever
tormenting me, loving me
to my confession
you my devil, my angel,
my everything
will now hear finallly
that which you longed for...
I am yours forevermore

there you lay so pure with innocence
so pure until the devil put thoughts into your head
he put anxiety
he put nightmares
but here i am willing to help
your heart beat feels so fast
i look at you and tell you
inhale
exhale
you take deep breaths
your mind becomes sane again
all is fine
all is pure
but soon as we are older you see the others you want to fit in
so you loose all sanity again trying to beat your glowing down to fit in
but i look at you and say
inhale
exhale
all is fine again
we find new friends with the coming year but little did I know it was more to keep track of
more heart to keep pure
only one of their hearts stays pure no matter the devils obstacles
but for the rest I tell them
inhale exhale
inhale exhale
all is fine at least i thought
behind my back you along with everyone else except for the pure
you guys go behind my back making me think everything is fine
until i see the smoke under your breath until i can see through your excuses finallly i figure out everything
i watch you
you put it towards your lips
followed by a yolo
then you
inhale
exhale
and it is done
all goes black
and your glowing is gone.

the feeling of your embrace, intrigues me. Vague and unkempt, hollow and fair... leading up to a mind full of Despair, but certain things always seem to be so fair.. whisking within your reach, you can't help but breathe..  grasping on so tightly, the things that seem to **** you nightly.. are the thoughts of your own shallows of darkness, in a deep pit... can you stomach it? ... thinking of doubts.. and all the things you can and can not live without.. not knowing how.. but you always seem to be let down.. shutting everyone out.. putting yourself on lock down. Not always confident.. sometimes deceived.. you feel as if no one can be pleased.. with a mind full of doubt.. thinking of all the things that bring you down.. lifting yourself up.. ever so gently.. just to be slightly, slanted. with the wind of voice. feeling attacked... by things that cant with-track. Life is weird and unfortunate... but sometimes it benefits rather than portray us. Numbing the soul just to help us find "gold".. where the sun shines bright, but you don't want to fight. Anxiety ***** you in, you learn over the years that, that seems to be your best friend, a shadow. following your every move just to swallow you whole... when people "love" just to fill a hole... when you finally escape.. you come unbound.. your mind set is finallly free to be found...

Seems like torture when you see me now ...
like a dark corner is more comforting than me....
You will hold my hand and let me in briefly...
but longterm promos are no longer available ...
Mostly im crushed that you like most fed me hope...
But no time for sadness because we are now going slow...
you say ur liking our past more than you will view future..
Like it is of no concern to others where this liffe leads
just hold me tonight and remind me how it felt....
to finally be able to say im going somewhere now,,,
thst she is mine and nothing will tear us apart ...
But then the part i enjoyed most ..
the idea that i could finallly heal my heart .... i