crimson and magic
to splash without panic
in waves of compliance
for drugs made from science
and sorceress who summon the simple solutions
illusions! illusions!
of grander worth loosing
confusing the process will aid not for coptic
nor catholic
or elsewhere semantics
act frantic in panic
to sob without reason
treason! say treason!
the exit of reason
to wander in wander a fate beyond yonder
set ponder a path set by mind on the map
of solutions and systems
domestic conditions
yet wild apparitions
appear as conditioned - concerns
to a mindset as stern and subtracted
by fractions of actions repulsed by distraction
disgruntled reactions
supposing contractions
created the action
conceived from distractions
The reasons
let change be for seasons
while i stay the rock in the pond
either frozen  not gone
as the watcher
still watching
content upon watching
exhaling the notion
that motions for movement
atonement! atonement!
with further consolement
atlas like the breeze of the gavel
let both parties ravel and tug
whether free or debugged
only mind over matter
unscrambles the lather
too see that is free
is like blind sight at sea
with the waves of conforming
to drown is informing
if not then be peace !
for all parties deceased
by a water so deep you could drown in your sleep

in already @ first streetlamp
the ocean states away
with my broken complacency,
new deserts, mollasses blood
settled in my feet within each footprint
lunar lisping in the night air
augment consolement in me
because i feel empty
eyes swimming in the new view

It’s not right,
It’s not fair!
I want to be with her,
Why can’t life be just a little bit easier!?
Almost 18-years-old,
And still never been kissed!
I’m angry,
I’m sad,
I’m lonely,
I want,
I need,
But I cannot have.
I want to cry,
But the tears just won’t come!
I hate this,
I hate it!
Why can’t it be my turn,
To have something good happen in my life!?
Yeah, meeting her was the best thing,
That has and ever will happen to me,
The thing is,
I want to be able to,
Envelope her in my love,
And show her that,
I’ll give up everything,
I have for her.
Lord, help me!
My heart
Cries out for consolement!
I’m going mad,
I’m losing what little I had!
I want to hold her in my arms,
And give her my heart.
But she has someone,
And I cannot destroy that,
Because that might hurt her,
And doing so would be unforgivable.
I still can’t help how I feel,
And just
Seeing her,
Hearing her,
Knowing her,
Makes me happy.
I still need help,
‘Cuz I’m hurting,
And she’s
The Only
One that
I want
To help me.
Never before
Have I met someone
Who has the same
Effect
She has
On me.
I tremble
Every time she
Touches me.
My heart stutters,
Every time I
Hear her laugh.
I can’t breathe,
Whenever i
Hear her voice.
I can’t think straight,
Whenever she
Smiles at me.
My heart trys,
To jump,
Out of my chest,
Every time I
See her.
I’m sprung,
I’m stuck,
I’m lost,
I’m confused,
I’m changed,
‘Cuz of her.
I feel like
I’m finally alive
‘Cuz of her.
Lord, you know me
Too well.
You used my
One weakness
Against me,
Woke me up,
And showed me,
The pain,
Of the real world.
If it were
Anything else,
I would not be bothered,
But she
Already has
Someone else
So I cannot
Be with her.
Am I being foolish?
Am I not being human enough?
Should I just dive in,
And take her from him?
What a stupid
Question!
The only answer
Is absolutely not.
‘Cuz I would not want
The same done to
Me.
Almost 18 years
Of suffering until
I finally meet
Her and
I finally wake up
To the joy of
Loving someone unconditionally.
Then, all of the
Pain inside
Amplified by the
Fact that it
Cannot be.
The question now
Is:
Do I retreat
Back into my shell,
Or try to
Find another?
It must be
Back to
The shell
‘Cuz there
Isn’t even
The slightest
Chance to
Find someone
That I could ever
Love like I do
Her.
It ***** so
Much ‘cuz
I’ll never know
What could’ve been
Between us.
I hate it,
I hate it,
I HATE IT!
No matter
How much
I write,
The only thing that
Will change
Is the paper
I’m writing on.
She’ll move on
In her life,
I’ll move back
To where
I was so long ago:
Cutting, lying, stealing,
Cheating, hurting, manipulating,
Twisting, hating, no longer being,
The person I tried
So hard to become
To make my life better.
Five years of
Constant, hard work,
18 years of constant,
Unending pain,
All to teach
Me a lesson
That I was taught
By my mother
All those years ago:
I’m not worth it,
I never was.
I don’t matter,
I never did.
No one cares about me,
They never did.
No one can care about me,
They never could.
It’s not worth it,
It never was.
I’ll never make it,
I never had a chance.
I’m not helping,
I’m only making it worse.
I can’t succeed,
I can only fail.
No one could ever love me,
There isn’t anyone who can.
I could never love anyone,
No one would ever accept me.
My life isn’t going anywhere,
It never was.
I was an accident,
I was never meant to be.
In other words: give up…

Aimless without direction
My heart cries out with sorrow
My hopes and dreams all vanished
No promises of tomorrow

Left with only a memory
That can never fade away
Abandoned without discretion
As I live from day to day

The future holds no meaning
As I count each day the same
My loving arms now empty
Without a love to claim

I dare not look for reason
But the bitterness fills my soul
A pain without consolement
That none should ever know

Left with only pictures
That beckon for my smile
Frozen moments in time
That harbor my denial

Silence fills the air I breathe
Not wanting to exhale
My soul now filled with echos
In a lost and empty shell

I struggle each day to survive
As my heart becomes defiled
A loss without redemption
For one who's lost a child

Body hurts from last night's wine and
This morning's lifting.
Hands shake, sounds of construction
Like an insane symphony of
Unsilence.

My limbs are the fingers of a clenched
Fist around the hope that
The hours may grow wings.
The city, a snail outside
The construction site fence.

We're both prisoners under a
Sky that's waiting to downpour,
Giving each other nervous looks
Through iron bars, smiling
Unwillingly with tears in our eyes,

To immitate consolement.
Today, a line has been drawn between
The world and its enemy,
Of which I'm on the wrong side.
This is how I die;

A drowned flower.
A bleeding scar. An
Exposed nerve in the rain.
At least I have the wine.
Without it, I'd never get this thirsty.

Woman's consolement comes
In handiest forms.

Incredible healing within
Spoonfuls of
Icecream.

all of mercy seems misplaced or I
don't understand the distribution of it,
seems I walk uphill until
the rock falls back down

or my faith is tested asking
me to sacrifice my son
to prove something
what,  needs proven to an all powerful
being

I got a little kitten , born two weeks ago ,
always the runt , so pretty
never hurt a god ****** soul,
even her mama's ****

now it is laying cold outside the realm
of mercy and I am the one
who has to bury her, and try to
deal with it.

Sometimes nature, if you explain it that way,
my forefathers words are a bit of
consolement, is cruel. The Eagle needs
to eat, and the wolf, and the

unspoiled perfects , the innocents must pay
the price, I get that, but no one
not a worm or maggot was going to
go hungry if that

little kitten had made it.