I am anti-social,
I choke at social gatherings,
My breath feels nothing more than lies ,
The lies when people's words,
Sublime into air.

While everyone brags about,
The last time the Sapiens
Had a good time,
I comfortablly drift off,
Into my little Pluto,
Of words, poetry and music.

I am there,
Yet I am not there.

People think I'm a snob,
The Sapiens think I'm lazy,
But what do they know,
The happiness in solitude.

I am anti social,
And the last thing,
I could care about,
Is You.

These circles resting inside of squares.
My empty daydreams lie in nightmares.
Plastic homes,
tucked in for the night.
Sleeping comfortablly
with no peace in sight.
Another character from my subconscious senses
No way to justify my mixed up sentenses.
But you stayed with me to keep me company.

During the day changes reappear.
But noting was ever very clear
Between you and me.
beneath the kitchen table,
the emptiness shines on the wooden floor.
It is the only beautiful thing left in this room anymore.
When you left for work, or when I left to play,
We closed our eyes
to give excuse to get away.

As you approached the corner full of memories
I erased the outline of everything we thought we'd be.
These feelings are invisible to you
But your pain was forever stuck to you like super glue.
You played the music loud,
and kept me at a distance
The sounds turned themselves into somekind of profound visions
And I read between the lines.
Nothing that belong to you could ever be mine.

So we waited
At the bus stop
And I waited in the car.
You waited
by the bathroom
And I waited in the bar.
And we waited
and waited
so much that we hated.
But we waited
And tried not to look concered at all
But the waiting
was the pressure that made you fall

We were fadnig like the photographs you took of your past.
Something I said had to make you laugh?
But you kept replaying your first love over in your head.
Sometimes I wish I were her instead.

Everything was echoing together mixing,
overlappig the boundaries in the dirt.
I didn't realize how much you hurt.
But everythig keeps holdig us back
We were never going forward.
It's why I left somewhere in the middle to say the least.
I naturally wanted to feel relieved.

You were focused on keeping my attenetion.
I was always changing subjects.
You were seeking more affection
But I still had to change the subject.
Stories were spiraling up into the sky,
You were living just to die.
What things mattered to you the most?
When we look back together on the long road?
What images sneak their way back into your mind?
Was it me or is it still her this time?

If it were different we could just be happy
reasons become meaningless after a while
I peeked behind my eyelids once
while you were falling asleep, watching me smile.
But now
It's pointless to ask reoccurring questions
Or remember once upon a times.
Pointless to blame myself
No answer is even worth a dime.

I will never get the closure
that most people need.
You  only get the glory of never being freed.
Everyone gets the first look at your real face
Watching you  fall, and fall and fall and fall.
Take a good hard look into the brick mirror...
Now who's the one who has it all?