i'm not writing this for "brownie points",
but i think i've been compensated
somehow -
yes, my father was abandoned by his
parents, and was raised by
his grandparents,
i managed to meet my paternal
grandfather, but my paternal grandmother?
i actually don't know what she
looks like... last time i heard she was
living in silesia...
but? i've had my share of compensation...
much more i guess of a fair share...
i had, on that count:
a maternal grandmother, and two
surrogate grandmothers...
the surrogates? both jewish
(my mother was a carer for these two
jewish ladies) -
what were their names?
****, i can only remember their surnames
a mrs. rockman & a mrs. roßhandler...
i remember coming back from primary
school and eating tea at their houses...
nice old ladies: as all old & frail women
are...
i received a complete collection of
bernard shaw upon graduating from school
from mrs. rockman...
poor ****, died demented, and ******* herself
in bed... she'd be more likely to tell
you some obscure fact, than what time
of day it was, or what day or month or year
it was...
dementia? i call that free-fall -
the complete un-inhibition of what is otherwise
restricted free-will: i.e. minding some sort
of manners - theoretically speaking?
beautiful to imagine - in reality? terrible
to watch.
so yeah, w.w. II compensation -
the germans only gave jews money,
the poles? well: someone like my mother -
who was a carer to two old jewish women...
sometimes money has the same
compensation worth as handing the victim
a piece of sharp iron and looking
into the eyes of the culprit...
so yeah... not a bad deal to have made,
certainly not a faustian pact -
mrs. rockman & mrs. roßhandler:
the latter, if i remember correctly,
escaped via warsaw sewers, with diamonds
sown into her garments...
i inherited some of my ******* books
from mrs. rockman, given that i visited her more
than her grandchildren...
and my surrogate grandfather's
monte cassino cross of honour...
my maternal grandfather had honorary
had civic distinction, some soviet form of
meritocratic "diversion" -
crosses, sure, but the problem is,
as he still reminds me whenever i see him:
you walked out the house wearing them,
like little general, and the other kids took
them off you, now all i have are proofs that
i earned them, paper proofs, where are my medals,
you little fiend, you pawned then...
well oops, i didn't get any skittles or
marbles for them either.
