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Christine hated Saturdays
on the locked ward
the day her fiancé

jilted her at the altar
the ***** music playing
in the background

the flowers
the aisle carpeted
with that pattern

she will always remember
and as you saw her
across the way

looking out the window
you saw Eric the day kid
who was brought in

while his mother worked
was aggravating her
was poking her

in the back
and you saw red
and went and pushed him away

and that brought the male nurses over
and they stood between you both
and Eric glared at you

and the big nurse said
what’s going on here?
and Eric said

it’s him he pushed me
and Christine said
Eric was poking me

and Benedict was just
keeping him away
well calm down now

the fat nurse said
keep it cool
and so you and Christine

walked to another window
and peered out
at the snow

and she said
the creep
as if we haven’t enough

to cope with without  
that creep aggravating us
but thanks anyway

for keeping him away
and you said
that’s ok

he gets to me too
I’ll bop him
one of these days

when the nurses
aren’t looking
and she smiled

and said
let me know when
I wouldn’t want

to miss that
and you looked out
at the falling snow

that was settling
on the fields
and tree tops

and far off
you saw a tractor
moving over the ground

and seagulls were following behind
and she said
quite picturesque isn’t it?

Yes
you said
kind of Christmas cardy

yes
she said
taking your hand

I wonder if we’ll be
out of here before then?
and you felt kind of numb

as if maybe the whole world
had gone black
and the snow fell

and you squeezed
her hand sensing
the warm flesh

and her thumb rubbed
against yours
and behind you

the unlocking
and locking
of doors.

Cry, cry as much as you want,
don’t stop till your eyelashes
are dry and until the mascara
isn’t on your face.
Cry till your cardy is soaked
up – wring it out – cry some
more.
Cry till your nose ceases to run
and you’re all blown out.
Cry till your eyes are dry
and your tear ducts are
no longer functioning.
Cry till you can’t cry no more...
and then...
Vow that you will never cry for the same reason ever again...

‘That day’, bed held, quiet, noisy in my ear,
elongated, like aeroplane entrails, skyward.
You were not embarking on any holiday I knew,
I caught your final sigh out of this life.

Cards pressed to chest, pupils tucked in.
“Is that blue or green?” you said, squinting,
your dealt cards outstretched toward me,
“Uno” you shouted, laughed, we did, you did.

Multi coloured swap shop, ripe mosaic fruits,
a smile of hearts. In the back room, fire flickering,
news parting my lips, tongued syllables locating
your body language........between proud arm rests.

Summer, warm, brown faded wooden bench
caught my skirt in its skin, splintered my hand.
Chasing, breathy, laughing, heat haze flooded
rosy cheeks.......we watched.

Hopscotching along without care; you told the
tale, you said... “Your cardy was swinging in the air”
you frantic, too frantic for weighty words,
worry warrior stamped across your forehead.