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Mitchell Jun 2012
The night rested in a humid Spring night as the cable cars
And taxi cabs lazily made their way around the
Soft and silent streets of the city. Stray cats and dogs
Picked away at half-eaten lunch meat and
three day old bread as the moon slowly began to rise.
The restaurants that lined the alley ways and
Side streets were filled with the Saturday evening crowd. The
Clinking echoes of wine glasses and dinner plates spilled
Out onto the sidewalk and into the street. The passerby's would
Occasionally turn their heads to look inside, some envious that they
Were not smiling and drinking and eating that night. Across the
Street and throughout the town, lonely men drank from half empty
Beer mugs, wondering where their passion had gone.

On the corner of Barry and 3rd stood a man alone with
A suitcase in his hand. He wore tattered brown dress
Shoes - two years too old - a black neck tie with a half
Button-up T-shirt and a pair of dark brown slacks he had
Bought from Goodwill for $3. His free hand hung open,
Letting the night breeze snake around his fingers. There
Were the stars above him that shone down onto the street
And the sidewalk and a few spotted puddles that had
Built up from an earlier rain. On the corner of Barry and 3rd
There was only one thing to do with one's time, and that
Was to stand around and think of where to go to next.

Up on 17th, there was a bar the man had heard of
From a woman who had tried to pick him up at the bus
Station, some kind of ******* that was really only looking
For a couple of free drinks and a packet of cigarettes. The man
Thought of this place, and weighed back and forth if it would
Be advantageous to wander up there and see if he couldn't
Find someone to shack up with for the night.
He decided it would be.

As he passed the busy restaurants, listening to the insides
Of the building and its occupants churn like silverware
In a blender, he remembered he had placed a half-loaf
Of bread inside of his suitcase.
He stopped on a rough concrete stoop of a Catholic
Church, where above him, stood a large wooden cross.
Around the cross were plaster sculptures of baby angels and
Gargoyles and a snaking vine made of black stone that made
Its way around the cross, tying itself around the center
Where the horizontal met the vertical, and continued
To spin around and around until it reached the top.
At first, the man thought it was some
Kind of snake signifying Adam and Eve, which was all
He really knew about religion, the basic kid stories, but
When looking closer, realized that it was only an innocent
Plant seeking a spot of sun.

The man placed his suitcase on the 3rd step of 8, where he
Then sat on the 4th. He leaned his weathered, bent back against
The hard stone concrete and listened to the faint cracks
Of his spine inside his body. He realized that he hadn't sat d
Down and relaxed since he had gotten off the train. He threw
His head back in a exaggerated and child-like yawn, and felt the warm tears
Of bashful exhaustion fill the sockets of his heavy eyes. The night was
Warm and he unbuttoned the top two buttons of his shirt
To let the air blow over his sweat drenched chest.

"There are certain times to be alone in life," He mused
To himself, "And I do believe that I have
Found one of them."

In a room above him the window was wide open
And the curtains danced outside with the wind. A head
Poked out from the window sill and peered down to
Look at the man musing, but did not say anything. The man
knew nothing of the stranger's eyes above him and felt
No other presence around him, other than the passing taxi
Cabs and street walker's and - if you counted the one's inside
The church - the saints and the angel's and God that lived
In holy silence enshrined behind him.

"There are things in life that are never meant to be
Solved," he philosophized, "And maybe I am
One of those things. When I think of my life, my entire
Life here on Earth, I don't think I ever found
A straight line to follow that I was ever comfortable
With...not one straight line I could follow that would
Bring me true happiness or a sense of accomplishment.
Now, am I bad in feeling this way? Am I no good
For never feeling that the good ain't ever good enough?
I do my laundry like everybody else and I walk the
Street just the same, but, there is something else that
Smells and feels and can taste the eternity in all things
That makes me restless so I can't sleep sometimes, forces
Me to stare into black infinity with only a mind I feel
That I will never truly meet. There has got to be a word
For whatever feeling this is, but I can't seem to think of it now."

The head above that had poked out before ******
A dark object out the window. It wavered for a moment
In the still warm air of the night, then, whooshing and
Splashing down, a full bucket of water cascaded down
on the man's head and suitcase. The man sat frozen, unsure
Whether it was from the Heaven's itself and paused before
He began to swear and curse at the tenant above him.

"You rat **** eating vanilla ice cream eating convict!" he
Screamed up towards the apartment complex, "I'm going
To come back with a gallon of gasoline, 10,000 tooth-picks, and
Find out your favorite magazine subscription and bring 1,000
Those by, and burn this place down - gifts and all!"

His voice
Echoed in the street
And down the darkened alley-way,
Where the bums of the city
Slumbered, not hearing a sound
Of the rant the man in the now wet
Two year old dress shoes rambled
On with; for bums sleep with
Absolute peace with their lack of
Care or fear of time.

"At last," he muttered underneath his dripping hair,
"I am released unto the Earth for what I truly am: A hung
Sheet - fresh out of the washer - meant only to be
Basking in the moonlight so to be dried by
Morning for the house-guests in the evening."

The man snapped his fingers,
Clicked his tongue, and looked up,
Once more trying to spot the culprit, until
Another bucket of water came crashing
Down upon him.

"QUIET DOWN THERE,"
The voice from above hollered,
"THERE AIN'T A SINGLE WORD ANYONE
IN THIS BUILDING WANTS TO HEAR
RIGHT NOW! CHILDREN ARE SLEEPING AND
THE OLD ONE'S ARE WATCHING THIER PROGRAMS!"

The man ran his hands through his dripping wet hair
And flicked the droplets of water out onto the street. His
Suitcase, which sat to the right of him, was soaked as well and
The man worried about the single baguette he had stored
In there in case he had gotten hungry. He knew it was ruined
Now, but was happy that there was only an extra pair
Of 50 cent socks and an undershirt he had found underneath
A bridge on the way into the city. He cocked his head up to the open window.

"You speak for everyone here in this building?" He
Asked the black and blotchy figure above him.

"I speak for everyone that doesn't have the nerve or
The cajones or the energy to holler down at you at
This Un-Godly hour, if that's what your asking."

"They vote you into that position?" He asked, prodding them.

"No vote. I'm a volunteer," they defended.

"Ha. Always going to be some kind of
Volunteer when there's power involved."

"Isn't power, it's responsibility."

"Responsibility," the man repeated, chewing the
Word in his mouth, seeing it spelled out in his mind.
"Responsibility is quite a subjective thing: some people
Take a liking to it and never want to stop being responsible and
In charge, and some just don't want none of it and
Would rather lay back in the sun and act
Like their in charge, while whoever believes
Their power works under'em and for'em; which one are you?"

"Neither. I'm just here trying to ward off some
Rambling *** with what looks like nothing but a
Suitcase and some old clothes and shoes."

"Well," he said, "You must have some pretty good
Eye-sight in this setting dark, because that's
All I got at the moment."

"Where you hail from?" the voice asked.

"Originally I hail from here, but where I was
Before I hailed from as well. To tell you the truth, I don't
Truly know - that's a good question."

The man tilted his chin up slightly and
Rolled over his response. The question had
Dropped an icy fire into the pit of his stomach and filled it
With hundreds of gnawing, fluttering butterflies; he
Hadn't thought about home in a long time and
Had forgotten why he had even chose to show-up in the first place.

"I'm here for reasons I can't seem to remember at the moment,"
The man admitted to the voice above and to himself.

"Can't remember?" the voice laughed, "How
You gonna' forget why you came home?"

"Don't know," he said, shaking his head," Just
Can't seem to recollect it."

"Scary thing."

"Yes, indeed."

They both paused as a taxi cab passed slowly by. It stopped
And honked its horn trying to signal the man to see
If he needed a ride. The man waved his hand to send the
Cabby off and looked down at his wet clothes and suitcase. The
Chill of the night had gotten its way into his skin and
He noticed that his teeth were chattering and his feet were
Beginning to shake. He worried about getting sick because he
Wouldn't be able to buy any medicine if he did. He looked up
To see the figure still looking down at him in silence. Suddenly,
An object fell, back and forth in the air like a feather,
Down towards the man and onto the stoop where he stood.
It was a blanket and wrapped inside was a tattered pillow.

"Bring it back if you want," the voice called out to him, "Don't
Even care if you sleep on the stoop, but, it's a little wet, as you know."

"There a park around here?"

"Down two blocks and a left. You'll see it."

"Thanks for your kindness," he said looking up at the window.

"Thanks for your silence," the voice said stubbornly.

The man brushed off the remaining water on his clothes
And suitcase and tried to squeeze the water out his hair.
He picked up his suitcase and wrapped the blanket around
His body and fitted the pillow underneath his arm. He walked
Two blocks up from where the figure had told him and took a
Left, illuminated by the stark orange and white street lights. He looked
Around after he took the left and spotted a small children's park
With a few benches spotted along the sidewalk that snaked through it.
He picked a bench near a water fountain, unbuckled his belt and took
Off his wet pants and laid down, wrapping the thick wool blanket
Around his body. He placed his suitcase underneath the bench and
Positioned the pillow so it fitted gently under his head. After he
Closed his eyes and rested for five minutes, he reached down to
Touch his suitcase. He felt the cool, damp leather of it, and
Quickly wrapped himself back up into the blanket,
Eagerly awaiting for dawn to rise and bring warmth back to his body.

At dawn, the sun painted the man's body with dark yellow streaks
of sunlight, heating his body up so much that when he woke, his
Clothes were close to dry again. The small patch of grass and
Weeds underneath him rustled with the wind and the sounds
Of the street a few blocks away drifted into his ear. He stirred
Inside of his blanket but did not rise. The pillow had fallen
To the ground throughout the night, but the man was too tired
To reach for it and kept his head on the hard wooden surface of the bench.
While lying there, half awake, the man thought of the figure that
Had been speaking to him from their window the night before. He
Knew he must return the blanket and pillow, but he was unsure
Whether he should bring something else. He had no money -
No money to spare at least - so he chose to bring only the
The things that were leant to him back, hoping that would suffice.

He shifted his position on the bench and saw through a crack of
The bench, that there were children already playing on the playground
Behind him, their parents leaning over their porches watching them; they
Didn't even seem to notice or care about the man sleeping on the bench.
The man felt embarrassed about this and rolled over to avoid the
Gaze of the parents and any of the children that may have spotted him. He
Laid on his back, his head atop the worn but comfortable pillow, and
Gazed up into the blue sky that was clear save a few passing milky
White clouds, that hovered above him like colossal globs of marshmallows.
He hoped in his mind that he remembered where the house the was that
Had been kind enough to give him the blanket and pillow and he wished
That he had paid more attention to the street signs and physical objects
Surrounding the building. All the man could recall were the bright neon
Orange light posts, a long line of thinly pruned circular bushes, a few
Mailboxes that stood as if attention on the sidewalk of the street, and
Numerous houses that all looked the same when he passed them in the night.
He knew he needed to find the house but was too comfortable to rise and
Too scared of the failure of ever finding the house and the thought
Of carrying around the blanket and pillow made his face flush a deep red.

The man rose cooly, as if rising from a nap spent on a couch in his
Summer cottage that rested on the bank of some far off river somewhere.
He looked over to the children and the parents up on their porches, but
Still, none of them paid him any mind. This relieved him. He was allowed
To be a shadow and embraced the idea of being anonymous rather
Than feeling the helplessness one feels when no one sees you. He folded
The blanket neatly like his mother had taught him to do ever since
He was a little boy, and instinctively fluffed the ***** pillow, even though
It was far beyond repair already. The sun was just peaking over the tops of
The ramshackle apartment buildings and he noticed that he had been
Sleeping in what looked like a very poor part of town; in the night, it
Looked like every other park corner where the elderly would to
Think about their past and the children would play with their present.

"Night and day are two different worlds," the man muttered
To himself, "Some people belong in one and some
The other; I wonder...which one am I?"

He looked up towards the sun and squinted, feeling a
Small droplet of sweat make its way down his right cheek. He
Wiped it away with his fingertip and brought it to his mouth -
He was terribly thirsty and his stomach rumbled within him. He
Had noticed the night before on the way to the park, a sign
For a bakery, but was not sure whether it was open or not because
The night was too dark to reveal any signs of it. The man had 10 dollars to
His name and knew he could buy two loaves of bread for at least 50 cents
If he haggled with whoever was running the place. They would be sure
To see his condition and help him if he showed them a little of the money he had.
There was also a childish charm to the man that he would bring out whenever
He truly was in need - he never liked abusing this gift, if one could call it that -
But in times of desperation and starvation and dehydration, he was
Forced to use it and mustered as much courage up to do so.

He walked through the path that had brought him to the park and
Made a right down the street towards the bakery and possibly the
House where he had been given the blanket and pillow. There was
No one on the street save a few alley cats and dogs and all the window
Blinds were down to block out the intense shining sun rising in the sky. There
Was a light breeze passing through the trees that cooled the man off. He
Had begun to sweat from holding the pillow and blanket so close
To his body, and wished he could have the nerve just to throw it in a
Garbage can and make his way to the neighborhood where he had been told
About the bar, but his conscious weighed him down, so he carried on.

He walked a block down the street and found the bakery on the other side
Of the street. He crossed and saw there was an old woman inside.
He checked his pockets for any spare change and opened his wallet
To make sure the 10 dollars was still there. He needed water and something
To put in his belly and he whispered a prayer before he went inside of the bakery.
When he pushed the door to enter though, it wouldn't budge - it was locked. The
Woman behind the counter turned her head and looked at the man, who
shook her head and waved him off. The man knocked gently on the glass
Door, but the old woman just kept waving and shooing him off like an animal. The
Man checked the clock inside and saw that
Stick with me, friend.
I’d like to make a distinction:
I revere writers but do not deify them.
My heroes and role models must be grounded,
Must have so-called feet of clay.
And there’s always something more in my craw,
Whenever I see scribblers carved in marble,
Glorified to the point of divinity and magic.
Because in my heart of hearts,
Reverence for writers,
Is an odyssey of disillusionment and

I fancy myself a man of letters,
Although “Humanoid of Keystrokes,”
Might be more apt; an appellation,
Digitally au courant.
I am a man on verbal fire,
Perhaps, I am of a Lost Generation myself.
And don’t you dare tell me to sit down, to calm down.
You stand up when you tell a story.
Even Hemingway--even when he was sitting down--knew that.
Let us go then you and I.
Moving our moveable feast to Paris,
To France, European Union, Earth, Milky Way Galaxy.
(Stick with me, Babaloo!)
Why not join Papa at a tiny table at Les Deux Magots,
Savoring the portugaises,
Working off the buzz of a good Pouilly-Fuisse
At 10:30 in the morning.
The writing: going fast and well.

Why not join that pompous windbag ******* artist?
As he tries to convince Ava Gardner,
That writers tienen cajones grandes, tambien—
Have big ***** too—just like Bullfighters,
Living their lives all the way up.
That writing requires a torero’s finesse and fearlessness.
That to be a writer is to be a real man.
A GOD MAN!
Papa is self-important at being Ernest,
(**** me: some lines cannot be resisted.)
Ava’s **** is on fire.
She can just make him out,
Can just picture him through her libidinous haze,
Leaping the corrida wall,
Setting her up for photos ops with Luis Miguel Dominguín,
And Antonio Ordóñez, his brother-in-law rival,
During that most dangerous summer of 1959.
Or, her chance to set up a *******,
With Manolete and El Cordobés,
While a really *******,
Completely defeated & destroyed 2,000-pound bull,
Bleeds out on the arena sand.

Although I revere writers,
I refuse to deify them.
A famous writer must be brought down to earth--
Forcibly if necessary--
Chained to a rock in the Caucasus,
Their liver noshed on by an eagle.
In short: the abject humiliation of mortality.
Punished, ridiculed and laughed at.
Laughing himself silly,
******* on one’s self-indulgent, egocentric universe.
If not, what hope do any of us have?

Writing for Ernie may have been a divine gift,
His daily spiritual communion and routine,
A mere sacramental taking of dictation from God,
But for most of us writing is just ******* self-torture.
The Hemingway Hero:
Whatever happened to him on the Italian-Austrian front in 1918
May have been painful but was hardly heroic.
The ******* was an ambulance driver for Christ’s sake.
Distributing chocolate and cigarettes to Italian soldiers,
In the trenches behind the front lines,
A far cry from actual combat.
Besides, he was only on the job for two weeks,
Before he ****** up somehow,
Driving his meat-wagon over a live artillery shell.
That BB-sized shrapnel in his legs,
Turned out to be his million-dollar wound,
A gift that kept on giving,
Putting him in line for a fortunate series of biographic details, to wit:
Time at an Italian convalescent hospital in Milano,
Staffed by ***** English nurses,
Who liked to give the teenage soldiers slurpy BJs,
Delirious ******* in the middle of the night,
Sent to Paris as a Toronto Star reporter,
******* up to that big **** Gertrude Stein,
Sweet-talking Sylvia Beach,
At Shakespeare & Company bookstore,
Hitting her up for small loans,
Manipulating and conning Scott Fitzgerald—
The Hark the Herald Jazz Age Angel—
Exploiting F. Scott’s contacts at Scribners,
To get The Sun Also Rises published.
Fitzgerald acted as his literary agent and advocate,
Even performing some crucial editing on the manuscript.
Hemingway got payback for this friendship years later,
By telling the world in A Moveable Feast,
That Zelda convinced Scott he had a small ****--
Yeah, all of it stems from those bumps & bruises,
Scrapes & scratches he got near Schio,
Along the Piave River on July 8, 1918.
Slap on an Italian Silver Medal of Valor—
An ostentatious decoration of dubious Napoleonic lineage—
40,000 of which were liberally dispensed during WWI—
And Ernie was on his way.

Was there ever a more arrogant, world-class scumbag;
A more graceless-under-pressure,
Sorry excuse of a machismo show-horse?
Look: I think Hemingway was a great writer,
But he was a gigantic gasbag,
A self-indulgent *****,
And a mean-spirited bully—
That bogus facade he put on as this writer/slash/bullfighter,
Kilimanjaro, great white hunter,
Big game Bwana,
Sport fishing, hard drinking,
Swinging-****, womanizing,
*** I-******-Ava-Gardner bragging rights—all of it—
Just made him a bigger, poorer excuse for a human being,
When the chips were finally down,
When the truth finally caught up with him,
In the early morning hours,
Of July 2, 1961, in Ketchum, Idaho.
I can’t think of a more pathetic writer’s life than
Hemingway’s last few years.
Sixty electric shock treatments,
And the ******* still killed himself.

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So why am I still mesmerized by,
The whole Hemingway hero thing?
That stoicism, the grace under pressure,
That real men don’t eat quiche,
A la Norman Mailer crap?
I guess I can relate to both Hemingway the Matador,
And Hemingway the Pompous *******,
Not to mention Mailer who stabbed his second of six wives,
And threw his fourth out of a third-floor window.
One thing’s for sure: I’m living life all the way up,
Thanks to a steady supply of medical cannabis,
And some freaky chocolate chip cookies
From the Area 51--Our Products are Out of this World—Bakery
(“In compliance with CA prop 215 SE 420, Section 11362.5,
And 11362.7 of CA H.S.C. Do not drive,
Or operate heavy equipment,
While under the influence.
Keep out of reach of children,
And comedian Aziz Ansari.”)

So getting back to Hemingway,
I return to Cuba to work on my book.
During the day--usually in the early morning hours--
When “the characters drive me up there,”
I climb to my tower room,
Stand up at my typewriter in the upstairs alcove.
I stand up to tell my story because last night,
Everyone got drunk and threw all the ******* furniture in the pool.
By the way, I’m putting together my Nobel Prize acceptance speech.
I can’t decide between:
“I may be defeated but I’ll never be destroyed,” or
“You can destroy me but you’ll never defeat me.”
The kind of artistic doublespeak they love in Sweden.
Maybe: “Night falls and day breaks, but no one gets hurt.”
God help me.
I need to come up with a bunch of real pithy crap soon.
Maybe I’ll just smoke a joint before the speech and,
Start riffing off the cuff about literary good taste:

“In my novel, For Whom the Bell Tolls, for example, I had Maria tell Pilar that the earth moved, but left out the parts about Robert Jordan’s ******* and the tube of Astroglide.”

Stockholm’s only a month away,
So I’m under a lot of pressure.
Where’s Princess Grace under Pressure when I need her?
I used to work for the Kansas City Star,
Working with newspaper people who advocated:
Short sentences.
Short paragraphs.
Active verbs.
Authenticity.
Compression.
Clarity.
Immediacy.
Those were the only rules I ever learned,
For the business of writing,
But my prose tended to be a bit clipped, to wit:
A simple series,
Of simple declarative sentences,
For simpletons.
I’m told my stuff is real popular with Special-Ed kids,
And those ******* that run
The International Imitation Hemingway Competition,
AKA: The Bad Hemingway Contest.
The truth is: I always wanted to get a bit more flowery,
Especially after I found out I got paid by the word.
That’s when the *** and **** proved mighty useful.
        
I live at La Finca Vigia:
My house in San Francisco de Paula,
A Havana suburb.
My other place is in town,
Room #511 at the Hotel Ambos Mundos,
Where on a regular basis I _
(Insert simple declarative Anglo-Saxon expletive)
My guantanmera on a regular basis.
But La Finca’s the real party pad.
Fidel and Che and the rest of the Granma (aka “The Minnow”) crew
Come down from the mountains,
To use my shower and refresh themselves,
On an irregular basis.
At night we drink mojitos, daiquiris or,
The *** & coke some people call Cuba Libre.
We drink the *** and plan strategy,
Make plans for taking out Fulgencio Batista,
And his Mafia cronies,
Using the small arms and hand grenades,
We got from Allen Dulles.

Of course, after the Bay of Pigs debacle,
You had to go, Ernesto.
Kennedy had the CIA stage your suicide,
And that was all she wrote.
And all you wrote.
Never having had a chance,
To tell the 1960s Baby Boomers about class warfare in America.
Poor pathetic Papa Hemingway.
Lenin and Stalin may have ruined Marxism,
But Marx was no dummy.
Not in your book.
Or mine.
Ron Peacock Jr Nov 2011
General.
Sir.
That is how you will identify me,
Hoorah?

I tell you what.
I am a soldier
But you?
You gotta earn your rights
To be privileged with such a title.
You get me maggot?
Fall in line, keep your lips locked.
Look me in the eye.
See any fear?
You shouldn’t, unless
It’s in your reflection.
You scrounge for this courage,
These cajones, that passion to surmount.
To get here, where I stand…

Here…
Can any of you maggots tell me
Where here is?
Anybody?
Are you even listening to me?
Where the hell are you going?
I never said at ease!
Sigh

I was an elite,
A soldier,
A leader.
Where here was the frontline.
The trenches, the beach head,
Africa, Stalingrad, O’ahu.
Now, here
Is found forgotten,
Lost in tragedy,
A false spectacle of hope,
Leaves me lost in this wicked dimension.
Clinches my soul.

Bang! Dust cover, flash
Dust cover, flash
Flash…
My senses.
Fading.
Into this abyss.
Leaving me here.
A ghost.
A spirit.
Please…
Bury me a soldier
Don Juan Rodríguez Fresle... sabréis quién fue Don Juan,
No aquel de la leyenda, sevillano galán
Que escalaba conventos, sino el burlón vejete,
Buen cristiano, que oía siempre misa de siete,
La ancha capa luciendo, ya un poco deslustrada,
Que le dejó en herencia Jiménez de Quesada;
Que fue amigo de Oidores, vivaz, dicharachero,
Que escribió muchas resmas de papel, y «El Carnero»;
Que de un tiempo lejano, casi desconocido,
Supo enredos y chismes, que narró y se han perdido;
Tiempo dichoso, cuando (lo que es y lo que fue)
tan sólo tres mil almas tenía Santa Fe,
Y ahora, según dicen, casi 300.000,
Con «dancings», automóviles, cines, ferrocarril
Al río, clubs, y todo lo que la mente fragua
En «confort» y progreso, verdad... ¡pero sin agua!
Tiempo de las Jerónimas, Tomasas, Teodolindas,
De nombres archifeos, pero de cara, lindas,
Y que además tenían, de Oidores atractivo,
Lo que en todas las épocas llaman «lo positivo»;
Cuando no acontecía nada de extraordinario,
Y a las seis, en las casas, se rezaba el rosario;
Días siempre tranquilos y de hábitos metódicos,
Sin petróleos, reclamos de ingleses ni periódicos,
Y cuando con pañuelos, damas de alcurnias rancias
Tapaban, en el cuello, ciertas protuberancias,
Que alguien llamó «colgantes, molestos arrequives»,
Causados por las aguas llovidas o de aljibes;
Cuando como en familia se arreglaban las litis
Y nadie sospechaba que hubiera apendicitis;
Cuando en vez de champaña se obsequiaba masato
De Vélez, y era todo barato, muy barato,
Y tanto, que un ternero (y eso era «toma y daca»)
Lo daban por un peso y encimaban la vaca;
Cuando las calles eran iguales en un todo
A éstas, polvo en verano, y en el invierno, lodo,
Por donde hoy es difícil que los «autos» circulen,
Y esto, cual muchos dicen, por culpa de la Ulen,
Mas afirman (en crónicas muchas cosas yo hallo)
Que entonces las visitas se hacían a caballo,
Y hoy ni así, pues es tanta la tierra que bazucan
Que en tan grandes zanjones los perros se desnucan.

Pero basta de «Introito», porque caigo en la cuenta
De que esto ya está largo...
                                                    Fue en 1630
O 31. A veces se me va la memoria
Y siempre quitan tiempo las consultas de Historia,
Y en años -no habrá nadie que a mal mi dicho tome-
Una cuarta de menos o de más no es desplome.
(Y antes de que los críticos se me vengan encima
Digo que «treinta» y «cuenta» no son perfecta rima,
Pero tengo en mi abono que ingenios del Parnaso,
Por descuido, o capricho, o por salir del paso,
Que es lo que yo confieso me ocurre en este instante,
Hicieron «mente» y «frente», de «veinte» consonante).

Diré, pues: «Hace siglos». Mi narración, exacta
Será, cual de elecciones ha sido siempre una acta,
Y escribiendo: «Hace siglos», nadie dirá que invento
O adultero las crónicas.
                                            Y sigo con mi cuento.
Don Juan Rodríguez Fresle (así yo di principio
A esta historia, que alguno dirá que es puro ripio);
Don Juan, en aquel día (la fecha no recuerdo
Pues en fechas y números el hilo siempre pierdo,
Aunque ya es necesario que la atención concentre
Y de lleno, en materia, sin más preámbulos entre).

Don Juan, el de «El Carnero», yendo para la Audiencia,
Donde copiaba Cédulas, le hizo gran reverencia
Al Arzobispo Almansa, que en actitud tranquila
A los trabajadores en el atrio vigila.
(Se decía «altozano», pero «atrio»
escribo, porque
No quiero que un «magíster» por tan poco me ahorque).

Debéis saber que entonces, frente a la Catedral
El agua de las lluvias formaba un barrizal,
Y para que los fieles cuando entraban a misa
Evitaran el barro de las charcas, aprisa
Puentecitos hacían frailes y monaguillos
Con tablas y cajones y piedras y ladrillos.

(Pobres santafereñas: tendrían malos ratos
Cuando allí se embarraban enaguas y zapatos,
Y también los tendrían los pobres «chapetones»
Porque sabréis que entonces no había zapatones.
Que yo divago mucho, me diréis impacientes;
Es verdad, pero tengo buenos antecedentes,
Como Byron, y Batres y Casti, el italiano,
A quienes en tal vicio se les iba la mano;
Mas sé que al que divaga poca atención se presta,
Y os prometo que mi última divagación es ésta).

Y sigo: El Arzobispo con el breviario en mano,
El atrio dirigía -que él llamaba «altozano».
Aquéllo a todas horas parecía colmena:
Unos, la piedra labran, traen otros arena
Del San Francisco, río donde pescando en corro
Se veía a los frailes, y que hoy es simple chorro.
Apresurados, otros, traen cal y guijarros.
Grandes yuntas de bueyes, tirando enormes carros
Llegan.
              El Arzobispo, puesta en Dios la esperanza,
Ve que es buena su obra. Y el altozano avanza.

Don Juan Rodríguez Fresle, la tarde de aquel día,
«Estas misas parece que acaban mal», decía.
Luego se santiguaba, pues no sé de qué modo,
De la vida de entonces era el sabelotodo.

El Marqués de Sofraga, Don Sancho; a quien repugna
Santa Fe; con Oidores y vasallos en pugna
Y con el Arzobispo, sale al balcón, y airado,
Airado como siempre, viendo que el empedrado
A su palacio llega cerrándole la entrada
A su carroza, grita con voz entrecortada
Por la cólera: «¡Basta! Se ha visto tal descaro?
Al que no me obedezca le costará muy caro.
Quiero franca mi puerta!»
                                                  Todos obedecieron,
Y dejando herramientas, aquí y allá corrieron.

Viendo esto los Canónigos que salían del coro,
Tiraron los manteos, y sin juzgar desdoro
El trabajo, que sólo a débiles arredra,
La herramienta empuñaron para labrar la piedra.
Luego vinieron frailes, vinieron monaguillos;
Y sonaban palustres, escoplos y martillos.

Don Juan Rodríguez Fresle, la tarde de aquel día,
De paseo a San Diego, burlón se sonreía,
Pensando en los Canónigos que en trabajos serviles
Estaban ocupados cual simples albañiles.

Ya de noche, a su casa fue y encendió su lámpara.
Cenó, rezó el rosario, después apartó el pan para
Su desayuno. (Advierto como cosa importante
Que «pan» y «para», juntos, son un buen consonante
De «lámpara». Es sabido que nuestra lengua, sobre
Ser difícil, en rimas esdrújulas es pobre,
Mas cargando el acento sobre «pan», y si «para»
Sigue, las dos palabras sirven de rima rara).

(Y el pan guardaba, porque con el vientre vacío
No gustaba ir a misa, y entonces por el frío
O miedo a pulmonías, en esta andina zona
Eran los panaderos gente muy dormilona;
Y Don Juan que fue en todo previsor cual ninguno,
No salía a la calle jamás sin desayuno).
Prometí los paréntesis suprimir, y estoy viendo
Que en esto de promesas ya me voy pareciendo
A todos los políticos tras la curul soñada:
Que prometen... prometen, pero no cumplen nada.

«¿Y qué fin tuvo el atrio?» diréis quizás a dúo.
Es verdad. Lo olvidaba. La historia continúo,
Sin que nada suprima ni cambie, pues me jacto
De ser de viejas crónicas siempre copista exacto,
Y porque a mano tengo de apuntes buen acopio
Que en polvosos archivos con buen cuidado copio.
Y como aquí pululan gentes asaz incrédulas,
Me apoyo siempre en libros, o Crónicas o Cédulas;
Y para que no afirmen que es relumbrón de talco
Cuanto escribo, mis dichos en la verdad yo calco,
Pues perdón no merece quien por la rima rica
A pasajero aplauso la Historia sacrifica,
La Historia, que es la base del patrimonio patrio...

Y os oigo ya impacientes decirme:
                                                              -«¿Pero el atrio?»
El atrio... Lo olvidaba, y hasta a Rodríguez Fresle;
Mas sabed que en Colombia, y en todas partes, esle
Necesario al poeta que busque algún remanso
En las divagaciones, y es divagar, descanso;
Porque es tarea dura, que aterra y que contrista,
Pasar a rima, y verso la prosa ele un cronista,
Que tan sólo a la prosa de diaristas iguala,
La que en todos los tiempos ha sido prosa mala;
Y aunque en rimas y verso yo sé que poco valgo,
Veré si de este apuro con buena suerte salgo...
Y en olla fío, porque... repararéis, supongo,
Que nunca entre hemistiquios, palabra aguda pongo,
Ni hiato, y de dos llenas no formo yo diptongo
Como hizo Núñez ele Arce (Núñez de Arce ¡admiraos!
Que en dos o tres estrofas nos dijo «cáus» por «caos»,
Y hay poetas, y buenos, de fuste y nombradía,
Que hasta en la misma España ¡qué horror! dicen
«puesía»,
Cual si del Arte fuera, para ellos, la Prosodia
De nuestra hermosa lengua, ridícula parodia);
Que duras sinalefas nunca en un verso junto
Y que jamás el ritmo, cual otros, descoyunto,
Porque eso siempre indica pereza o ningún tino,
Y al verso quita encanto, más al alejandrino,
Que es sin duela el más bello, que más gracia acrisola,
Entre todos los versos en Métrica española.
Que lo digan Valencia, Lugones y Chocano,
todos ellos artífices del verso castellano,
Y que al alejandrino, que es rítmico aleteo,
Dan el garbo y la música que adivinó Berceo.

Y sigo con el atrio.
                                Después de madrugada
Volvieron los canónigos a la obra empezada.

Al Marqués de Sofraga la ira lo sofoca.
Alcaldes, Regidores al Palacio convoca;
Y Alcaldes, Regidores, ante él vienen temblando,
Y díceles colérico: «¡A obedecer! Os mando
Que a todos los Canónigos llevéis a la prisión.
Mis órdenes, oídlo, mandatos del Rey son».

Don Juan Rodríguez Fresle rezó cual buen cristiano;
No escribió, y sin reírse se acostó muy temprano,
Porque muy bien sabía que el Marqués no se anda
Por las ramas, con bromas, y cuando manda, manda.
Mas desvelado estuvo pensando y repensando
En la noche espantosa que estarían pasando
Sin dormir, los Canónigos, en cuartucho sombrío
De la cárcel, sin camas, y temblando de frío.

La siguiente mañana no hubo sol.
                                                              Turbio velo
De llovizna y de brumas encapotaba el cielo.

Fray Bernardino Almansa llega a la Catedral.
Está sobrecogida la ciudad colonial.
Salmos penitenciales se elevan desde el coro,
Y en casullas y capas brilla a la luz el oro.
El Prelado aparece como en unción divina
En el altar, y toda la multitud se inclina;
Entre luces ele cirios destella el tabernáculo;
Hay indecible angustia y hay dolor. Alza el báculo,
Y mientras que en la torre se oye el gran esquilón,
Erguido el Arzobispo lanza la excomunión.
Alcaldes, Regidores, todos excomulgados
Porque al Cielo ofendieron.
                                                  Los fieles congregados
En la Iglesia, de hinojos, y en cruz oraban.

                                                                            Fue
Aquel día de llanto y duelo en Santa Fe.
Cerradas se veían las puertas y ventanas,
Y en todas las iglesias doblaban las campanas.

Don Juan Rodríguez Fresle se dijo: «¡Ya está hecho!»
Se dio, cual buen cristiano, tres golpes en el pecho;
Pero volvió de pronto su espíritu zumbón,
Y pensando en la hora suprema del perdón,
Vio a los excomulgados con sus blancos ropones,
Al cuello sendas sogas, y en las manos blandones,
Y murmuró: «Del cielo la voluntad se haga,
Donde las dan, las toman. Quien la debo la paga».

Y escribiendo, escribiendo, la noche de aquel día,
De los excomulgados, socarrón se reía,
Porque le fue imposible su sueño conciliar
Sin que viera en las sombras por su mente pasar
Regidores y Alcaldes, cada uno en su ropón,
Cual niños que reciben primera comunión.

Don Juan Rodríguez Fresle, siempre que los veía,
Del ropón se acordaba y a solas se reía.
Desnuda como un yunque, mesa mía,
no admites ni una flor para tu adorno,
nada se aquieta en ti ni permanece:
el torrente infantil lo barre todo

***** tintero, blando cartapacio,
búcaro de cristal o marco de oro
hace mucho que están en las alturas
o yacen de cajones en el fondo.
Cuando me llego a ti ya voy completo:
el pensamiento musical y pronto,
estilográfica en la mano
y una hoja sale de un bolsillo o de otro,
¿Cómo será una mesa aderezada
bajo la fija claridad de un foco,
con una rosa erguida en una copa,
sin una brizna de papel o polvo?
La pluma ha de correr oleosamente
y el período o la estrofa fluir solos.
Mas ¿quién piensa en el orden un instante
bailando alrededor varios demonios
que saltan sobre ti como si fueras
en la campaña fugitivo potro?
Éste abre su libro de lectura,
ése levanta mapas policromos,
aquél corta figuras de revistas
y las pega en cuadernos ampulosos
a pinceladas de indomable engrudo
que, de paso, salpican el contorno.
Tal vez así se escriba con ventaja,
entre gritos, moquetes y sollozos,
y el cerebro agradezca el espolazo
como el fijar el hierro presuroso,
como la tierra el filo de la reja
o como el mar los remos espumosos.
Así te han puesto más de quince años
cual banco de escolares revoltosos,
que elaborando sobre ti se han ido
el verso más o menos primoroso
o la resta pueril, o el mapa alegre,
cosas de niño, de poeta y loco.
Sobre tu desnudez leo y medito
contra la tabla, persistente, el codo,
o me cruzo de brazos resignado
en la actitud cerrada del estoico.

Mesa: estés como estés, así te dejo,
ni te pulo, te lustro, ni repongo,
hemos de continuar como hasta ahora:
ya sabemos los dos que falta poco.
duane hall Mar 2019
I tried so many times to tell you how I feel
The love I have for you is one  I can't conceal
Every time I try to tell you I fall flat on my face
Anytime I'm near you I'm just a hopeless case
I'm in so deep, I'm afraid of tipping my hand
If I told you how I feel you wouldn't understand
Our friendship is much more than I ever planned
I know you think of me as just another stagehand
Wish I had the cajones to climb off this old fence
But until then I'll just have to be content
To be a small part of you.
En la buhardilla, a donde luz incierta
Entra por los resquicios de la puerta,
Riñen con ademán amenazante.
Ebrio llegó a acostarse, y ya mediado
El día despertó... brutal, airado,
Turbia la vista y lívido el semblante.

Hambre sentía y bostezó. La frente
Se apretó con las manos impaciente;
Tendió en torno la estúpida mirada,
y al observar que en la buhardilla todo
Se encontraba en desorden, el beodo
Le dijo a la mujer con voz airada:

¿Qué has hecho toda la mañana? ¿En dónde
Te estuviste?... ¡Respóndeme! ¡Responde!
«Siempre en la calle»

«Y tú, siempre en el juego
y en la taberna. Voy de arriba abajo,
Mientras tú bebes, a buscar trabajo,
Que es preciso comer y encender fuego».

«¡Hago lo que me place!»
¿Y qué me importa?
Yo haré lo mismo, que la vida es corta...
«Busco lo que me gusta».
«¡Y yo al que quiero!»
«¡Miserable!» «¡Canalla!»
Y cual dos furias,
ambos se lanzan a la faz injurias,
como vaho de inmundo estercolero.
Y el hombre dijo de repente: «Nada
Sacamos con gritar. Si estás cansada
También reniego de vivir contigo.
Cada día que asoma, una rencilla...
Aborrezco esta mísera buhardilla.
Donde es la vida para mí castigo».
Y la mujer repuso: ¡Ya comprendo!...
Que acabe pronto este suplicio horrendo.
¡Porque vivir contigo es imposible!
¡Debemos separamos!... A ti unida

Nunca más viviré... ¡Qué amarga vida!
¡Es un martirio!... «¡Es un infierno horrible!»
«¡Vete, pues! ¡Pero ahora! ¡Te lo exijo!...
¡En el instante!»... la mujer le dijo
Colérica, mirándolo de frente.
«Tu libertad recobra y yo la mía:
Hace tiempo ser libre yo quería...
De hambre no moriré... tenlo presente».
«Vete; de trabajar estoy rendida
Para ti. Trabajar, eso es mi vida,
y llorar en silencio y resignada.
¡Vete a beber, y en la taberna duerme,
y si vuelves de noche no has de verme,
Porque la puerta encontrarás cerrada!»
«¡Sea! Comprendo lo que estás pensando.
¿Juzgas que al irme para siempre, cuando
Deje tu compañía y lejos huya,
Quedarás con los muebles, la vajilla,
La ropa y cuanto ves en la buhardilla?
¡Te engañas! Sólo la mitad es tuya».
Y el mobiliario, mío lo creía...
Mas como sólo la mitad es mía,
Según dices, hagamos el reparto.
Y entre gritos y horrendas maldiciones,
y vaciando gavetas y cajones
Queda en desorden, al momento, el cuarto.
Aquí una mesa, más allá una silla,
Retablos, ropa, vasos y vajilla,
El piso obstruyen, y el reparto empieza...
y sigue la faena comenzada,
Hasta que ven, con infernal mirada,
Dos montones iguales en la pieza.
Y de pronto el obrero, jadeante,
En la tabla más alta de un estante
Un bulto vio, con un cordón atado.
Empezó a abrirlo y ¿qué será? decía;
¿Una blusa tal vez?... ¿Mía, muy mía?
¿Será un vestido que dejé olvidado?

¡Un ajuarcito blanco!... y al momento
Un recuerdo vivaz el pensamiento
A herirles viene y su dolor despierta.
Sorprendidas se encuentran sus miradas,
y reconocen ambos las amadas
Tristes reliquias de su niña muerta.
Sienten el corazón atravesado
Por una luz que viene del pasado...
Callan ambos y trémulos suspiran,
y ven que surge en la buhardilla oscura
La hija amada, angelical y pura.
Con el vestido que sus ojos miran.

«¡Es mío!», dijo pálido el obrero;
«¡Jamás!», repuso la mujer; «¡Lo quiero,
Lo cosí, lo bordé!... ¡Pobre hija mía!...
No podrás a mis manos arrancarlo...
¡Déjalo en mi poder para besarlo
Como solo consuelo en mi agonía!
¡Tres años hace que partiste al cielo,
Encanto, amor!... ¡Tres años ya de duelo!...
Tres años de amarguras en la vida!
¡Hija mía! ¡Sin ti, todo ha acabado!»...
y al vestido, en un mueble desdoblado,
Acercose en silencio y conmovida.
Tomó las prendas de su amor, e impreso
Dejó en sus pliegues el calor de un beso;
Luego volvió a doblarlas con cuidado,
E inclinando en silencio la cabeza,
Dijo con hondo acento de tristeza:
«¡Ya todo, para siempre, ha terminado!»
¿Para siempre? ¿Eso dices?.. ¡Si ella vive!
¿Acaso no la has visto?... ¡Ella prohíbe
Que dividamos su vestido blanco;
Para traer a nuestro hogar la calma,
Para hablamos de amor, volvió su alma!..
¡Aquí me quedo! y se sentó en un banco.

«¡Perdonémonos!» díjole el obrero
Con hondo acento de un dolor sincero;
y ella repuso: «¡Ya no más rencillas!
¿Lloras? ¡Tiembla tu mano, y está yerta!»
Y besando el vestido de la muerta,
Abrazados cayeron de rodillas.
María José Feb 2018
Descendía lentamente los escalones del bus mientras me preguntaba cómo me iba a sentir. Habían pasado tantos meses, pero bien podría haber sido ayer. El tiempo no cura este tipo de dolores, solo aprendes a vivir con ellos como con el ruido constante de los carros en la ciudad.

Los recuerdos se aferran a tantas cosas que no he podido evadirlas todas, a pesar de mis esfuerzos. Sin embargo, tenía que regresar a tu casa y las calles reprochaban mi olvido gritando tu memoria. Cada tienda, cada esquina, cada piedra guardaba un pedazo tuyo que iba recogiendo para armar un rompecabezas que rompía mi corazón, de nuevo.

Le agradezco a esas cuadras no intentar borrarte, como yo, por guardar tanto de tus últimos años de vida. Aun así no puedo evitar odiarlas por seguir inmutables a pesar de tu ausencia, ¿cómo es eso posible? Que las calles no sientan la ausencia del sol. Del hombre que fue Superman y todos los demás heroes. Parece imposible, no lo entiendo.

Son tantos los recuerdos que se entretejen entre ellos y se convierten en un desordenado tapiz de anécdotas. Ahora quiero guardarlos todos, todos los que pueda. Busco entre los cajones de mi memoria y los cojo con cuidado, son como flores que planeo dejar entre las páginas de libros para preservarlas, no importa si no siguen igual. Porque incluso si están muertas, todavía huelen a ti.
This poem is about going back to my father's house for the first time after he passed away. It's in Spanish because I felt it more real if I did it in both his and my
It was 20:16 in 2018 and I was sixty one
so you can't tell me numbers mean nothing,

Four thousand and ninety five in total
that means something

Who makes these thing I wonder that make me wander
I'd like to meet him or her, but somehow I don't think I
will.

I want to throw the bones rewind the stones
grow cajones
(I'm told they're a Spanish vegetable)

I add things to things that add up to things
and things have a habit of multiplying
hey!
pay attention
I'm investing some trying here
but it looks like I'm dying here
well
I've done that before
!
That is a premature exclamation
and how do I perform that live?
Yenson Nov 2020
Do not breed them bright
for we need 'the useful idiots'
to do the ***** work
how can you manipulate and control them
if you allow reasoning and ability to moralize
or allow free-will and intelligence which will open eyes
offer them titbits as reward and instruct them we all think alike
our greatest strength is intimidation for none of them have cajones
and they can't understand anything's much less Spanish
pulverise their senses and ridicule them by instilling that
pureness of self ( where originality, wisdom and positive creativity
resides in sublime harmony) is nothing but a desert where emptiness and vacuous expanse **** each other up
The asinine useful idiots will swallow that up like honey
its the perfect fit for the narratives of empty minds
makes perfect sense to idiots
just as 94 seconds *** makes
sense to them
know little
have little
do little
the tree of dumbfound land

— The End —