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Hannah Chin Oct 2018
deephate
lossand anguish
it all mixesinto onelargemess
somewords dont eventouch thisfeeling
myeyes areallout of tears and hanghalfclosed
or is it halfopen to you whofeel
myheart—does itevenbeat
hard totell
youcant know
whati befeeling
howcan you foolsunderstand
youwant tohelp then LEAVEMEALONE
theresnothing youcando
tosave mefromthis
pit
of
des-
pair
ilike theblack
ofthis smallroom
iusedto likepink
iwanted
tobe
apretty princess
andlive inacastle witha
kingso kind
butdreams dont
cometrue
learnthisnow
youfools
dreams
are
like
pa-
per
burni­ngin
theFLAMES
OFHELL
just
like
me
.
.
.
.
do
not
give up
myChild
I still loveyou
myChild
youvegone farther
than
rockbottom
butlisten
to
Me
listen
listenlisten
toMe
.
.
.
.
I
THOUGHT
I GOTRIDOF
YOU
HOWDARE YOU
COMEINTO
THIS
SOULOFMINE
LEAVEHER
ALONE
you are
so
alone
myfriend
cantyousee
noonecares about
you
theylie
when theysay
dothose fools
listentomee
tome
listen
to
me
.
.
.
.
thischaos
inside
ican­notcontrol
itatall
iwantto
SCREAMAND
SHOUTbut
icant
i wantto
crybut icant
letgo
of
me
setme
FREE
p
l
e
a
s
e
.
.
.
.
up
uplook
upMy
C­hild
iamnot faraway
letyourheart
beat
beat
beat
again
takemy hand
myChild
iwill
neverleave
younor forsake
you myChild
istill
love
you
.
.
.
.
is
that
alight
itsbeenso
dark for solong
imnot evensure what
lightlooks like
do i dareto hope
dare tolook
up
up
up
.
.
.
.
YOU
FOOL
thereis nolight
light doesnot exist
ithought youwould have
LEARNEDTHIS BY NOW
theonly waytogo is
down
down
down
.
.
.
.
here
iam
myChild
here i am
take my
hand
please dontlook
down
dontlook
down
i
still
loveyou
myChild
ido
i
do
.
.
­.
.
i
cant
lookdown
doi darelook up
amieven worthit
thelight
is
faint
butican
see
it
clear
as day
.
.
.
.
NO
YOUFOOL
you arenot worthy
you cannot hope
donteven try
hope
is
frail
youcant
trust
hope
.
.
.
.
i
surprise
myself
is­till
look up
ithink maybe
there is a littlehope
maybethere
is a little
hope
.
.
.
.
yes
myChild
there is hope
still look up and see
the light gets
bigger
warmer
see me here
I still love
you
myChild
I still love you
.
.
.
.
NO YOU FOOL
no you fool
no
you
fool
.
.
.
.
the
light
is warm
the light is
bright
i
like
the light
i like
the
light
.
.
.
.
no
dont leaveme
here alone
listen to me
one last
time
.
.
.
.
LEAVE
MYCHILD ALONE
myChild
you are
safe
here in
the
light
you are safe
here in the light
i still love you.
I originally wanted to write something about suicide but this came out in the end. This is about a battle that most people can't see. But it is a battle that goes on within all of us.
i'm not where i was
when i last closed my eyes
wiping away the blur
letting the figures materialize
reality sets it in
the aches crawling under my skin
scatter under harsh light
but they're still eating away at me
what more could i want
butican'thaveyou
why can't i have you
whydoiloveyou
why cant i see you anymore
whycan'tiholdyou
why can't i kiss you
whycan'tiloveyouanymore
why can't i miss you

cause i do
and i always will
til the day that i die
and i was holding out for something
but i'm not seeing the light no more
as i'm closing up shop
and putting the last of it away
will you accept this token of my love
or will you spit in my face

if i try to say goodbye
though i guess i know the answer
it's hard to leave with nothing
and my feet and my hands hurt
though they've gotten me this far
but i think i'm ready to go to bed
so kiss my grey lips
and forgive me for the rest
of what's about to happen

— The End —