it's the clavicles her
the
inching of

the
(her)the

vulnerable teasing the

at the edges pink the

trimmed in neatness the

amble of girlness palish

(******* just and
softer coiling
hushed by
an inch
of boyness)

she(the)her(the)

by the way sir(the)

i 'er the
gonna perce ya

a radiant by the folding o' yer faultless gleaming
(spear to plunge)
your heart and *****

a rill to let
of crimson mangé

fillme
fill my
fill my hands
fill my hands, light.

i'll climb You.

i'll reach each
finger over
each finger over.

i'll climb you up
(if even tinly i'll shall
by minute courage expand
into quickly dying night
the frailness of my body
and i'll clamor
i'll tip
sinuously

up

into thy strayingest brightness
my cup
and it will run over with you

it will burn
and, by a thousand strokes of brilliance,
it shall teeter briefly invincible

on awkward skinny youth
it shall stumble deeply radiant folding

each star folding
manifold upon
manifold upon
manifold upon
folding each star

into the hottest crimp:
a kiss foibl'd                         )

clumsily boyness hands
imparting with love most earnest

that spangle will

and climbing fingers
over each
into

that hurt
will sharply round
rib after rib

till reaches
(in burning Cupid's fiercest glow)

my destroying weakness
with the strength of your inimitable lips

the you the

      that

the

       totally

(which intensely does)                  Curve


upon curving
the twist of
some adamantine
hips collapsed
in one fatal crushing
of hushed nudeness                        Arrive

by mute girlness
of parting self

(where sleeps faultless
legions of boyness to kiss
with the waxing
of their paired moon
some wet keenness of bliss)

see it's like nothing how unfrail the wrist
**** pale with a couple of tan lines where
a used to bracelet
                                  gold probably

flickers a hand
in out of an open window

                             i beneath

pass the spontaneous words of a mother
said by his father
and the whole vague riot of boyness
incised in bones
                                that wear eyes

                                       that look up
                
            and wonder
what kind of girl is on the other
end of a flickering hand
on a pale wrist
                                                       withtanlines

how who

                    through


new what

          (crisp)******

of uncouth
****** glass:

                           BUILDINGS!                                                     (awholecity


suddenly of unerupting stillness
leaps by
slick courage of burning liquor
a slightly old

               )a slightly stupid(

boyness of incorrigible grinning
arms of hands by body youth sick

a girlnesss about


entwining into steep darkness of hard love:

      some mouth open.


      some mouth eager.

I know you don’t want to hear it
But one day you WILL
look up and think,
“****** Mom”
And then notice the rose-gold
Of a sunset

Just like I’m
Always taken by surprise
At how your eyes
Can change from green
to dusty gold then blue
Depending on the hue
Of your plain olive
or blue H & M T-shirt

I know you don’t want to hear it
But you will take that hike one day
With one or two or three
Progeny in tow and go
“Wow, inhale that smell”
Of wet outdoors and nature and life

Just like I inhale the boyness of you
Before you become a man
The spicy alcohol of cologne hiding
The musk of undone laundry maybe
The sweat, excretion of locker room,
Football, or track exertion

I know you don’t want to hear
About the birds and the bees,
Sticking your head out the truck window,
“Mom, please!”
But one day she’ll come for your heart

Just like you came for mine
that morning you were born

Why can't I get a girl?
Talk about a girl?
Be in that swirl?
Let my boyness unswirl?
Why do I kind of act femenine?
Why can't I relate?
What is my fate?
I have already figured it out.
I have figured out myself.
It is to to stop waiting.
No more being an overgrown sprout.
I have to change.
I can meet anyone like me,
That isn't good,
I can't fight me,
I cannot right me,
Or write me,
What I see,
In the ocean blue,
A cloud running out of view,
I know how you feel,
I am talking to myself,
I am mentally unstable,
I need help.
Even the truest emotions I show,
Are not true,
I don't care,
What are you,
Be whatever,
Just not biast,
And if your not likable,
Don't be a denialist,
I am sorry,
Say that enough for a ferrari,
Why can't I,
Have the muscle,
Have the heart,
Have the brain,
Have the whole cart,
Why is everyone else,
So much better than me?
I wonder this,
Yet it is so clear to see....
Why can't I.