Here are the names of my lovers,
The women I sleep with, whom
I use, like they use me.
Spent, they discard me, for when their pleasure needs
Satiated, they climb aboard another man.

What they do not know,
Is that in my mind, in my ears,
everywhere,
I did not let them, or you go,
We are still romping,
For I
Take them as needed.

I need them all,
For my pleasure needs, like my unshaped heart,
Addictive, endless.

If your is name is here, I do not
Apologize.

Pink
Adele
Lilly Allen
Anna Nalick
Bess Rogers
Beyonce
Brandi Carlisle
Cat Power
Colbie Callait
Duffy
Eva Cassidy
Evanescence
Alison Sudol
Fiona Apple
Florence Welch
Grace Potter
Ingrid Michaelson
You
Joni Mitchell
K.D. Lang
Kate Nash
Kate Voegele
Leona Lewis
Lizz Wright
Madeline Peyroux
Marie Digby
Mary Wells
Norah Jones
Regina Spektor
Sara Bareilles
You
Sara Haze
Taylor Swift and Tracy Chapman
Tristan Prettyman
Vanessa Carlton

So many others, used so long ago, I can't remember the faces,
Which can't be googled.

Use them hard, use them often, more than daily.
Bluntly, I tell you
Your name is on my list,
Even if I do not disclose it.

Taken from Sara Bareilles' song called 'Brave'. I don't claim to own any part of the song but I just really like these few lines.

" Say what you wanna say,
and let the words pour out.
I wanna see.
I wanna see you be brave!"

The weather outside is "Colder Than My Heart, If You Can Imagine" (A Day To Remember)
but that won't stop me from "Bleeding Out" (Imagine Dragons)
and you know I won't be "Happy" (Pharrell Williams)
as I am "Without You Again" (Sam Shaber)
I would never try to force you to "Stay" (Mayday Parade)
don't try to tell me I need "Therapy" (All Time Low)
until you hear "Both Sides Of The Story" (We Are The In Crowd)
you've always told me to be "Brave" (Sara Bareilles)
but now I'm afraid of the "Demons" (Imagine Dragons)
I'm sure we can "Let It Go" (Demi Lovato)
after all we're just "Human" (Christina Perri)
as long as you know "I'll Be"  (Edwin McCain)
more than "Weightless" (All Time Low)
up here like a "Satellite" (Rise Against)
but now you're back so let's "Begin Again" (Taylor Swift)
and "Step" (Vampire Weekend)
to our "First Dance" (Nevershoutnever!)
before we sit together under the "Starlight" (Taylor Swift)
until we're "Out of Time" (A Day To Remember)

"All I Want" (A Day To Remember)
is for "You And I" (Anarbor)
to "Shine On" (Jet)
but it's not "All About Us" (He Is We, ft. Owl City)
and "If I Leave" (A Day To Remember)
will you come "And Run" (He Is We)
"A Thousand Miles" (Vanessa Carlton)
with me "When The Darkness Comes" (Colbie Caillat)
but let's not "Blame It On The Rain" (He Is We)
and don't think that my "Darkside" (Kelly Clarkson)
exists just to "Prove You Wrong" (He Is We)
I know "It's Complicated" (A Day To Remember)
but "Since U Been Gone" (A Day To Remember cover)
I've been feeling like your "Number One Enemy" (Daisy Dares You, ft Chipmunk)
and all I want to do is write you a "Love Song" (Sara Bareilles)
to show you that I'm "Still Into You" (Paramore)
So don't think that "Big Yellow Taxi" (Counting Crows)
is going to be your "Savior" (Rise Against)
but "Here It Goes Again" (Ok Go)
so don't think about "Everything I'm Not" (The Veronicas)
while I just sit here with "My Shiny Teeth And Me" (Chip Skylark)
trying to catch "Fireflies" (Owl City)
in a jar shaped like a "Skyscraper" (Demi Lovato)
so don't act like "It's The End Of The World As We Know It" (REM)
because in "One Week" (The Barenaked Ladies)
we'll all just be "Heroes And Thieves" (Vanessa Carlton)

music. there is no description for it
i could spend endless amounts of time
thinking of every word that fits it
but the only one that fits, for me is
alive.

music makes me feel alive.

bass pounding, words screaming
i wish i could dance all day and all night
the music urges me, it tells me
to sing as loud as i can and
dance as hard as i can
soft guitar, voices whispering
my soul responds with hunger
more. more. more.
the voices penetrate my mind
the rhythm and melody raise goosebumps
tears in my eyes. from pain? happiness?
i don't even care.

lose yourself.
when music is on, i am gone.
i have left this world and entered
another one. a better one.
a world full of endless love and beauty
in this world, anything is possible
in this world, i am sara bareilles
and i have a voice
that angels would be jealous of
in this world, my dance enchants every person for miles
in this world, i dance on top of clouds
and when i sing, music notes float
from my voice in perfect pitch

without music, there is no world
it is empty, dark and
i am lost
instead of color, it is merely
black and white
without music, i am a drug addict
trying to recover
i sweat, i shake and have the urge
without music
there are little memories made
no singing with windows down
no dancing with hairbrush in hand
no songs to sing every word to
without music, there is no feeling
of being alive
no feeling of anger, sadness, and complete
bliss.


music is my soulmate.
my one true love
and we are to live a long
and happy life

~ for Sara Bareilles ~

deuce driving nowhere for no reason,  
wasting time, purposely, meticulously,
Otis singing the timelessness of no time,
wasting gas, polluting the future,
should I be caring,
of coursing not,
that’s the purpose
that needs no explaining

but ya know, surely knowing,
it’s not about the going,
but tapping on the breaks,
hoping they’ll close up the painful spaces,
bandaids of near silent footfalls,
pauses of pressure,
implausible discarding the empties

cause a love story,
is now more about the
chapter breaks, heart aches
thus looking out the window
thinking-gazing you’ll spot her
knowing you won’t but
still go on driving until
you no longer can and
tapping on the breaks
is helping

and that is all that you are really doing
minding the gaps that yet gape
open them pausing breaks
so time can suture them


4/17/18 8:43pm in a Master Class with Sara B.

Day 1 of 365 Happy Days
Summed up with a song by Sara Bareilles


I live here on my knees
As I try to make you see
That you're everything I think I need here on the ground.

But you're neither friend nor foe
Though I can't seem to let you go.
The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down.

Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.

It's like she read into my heart and let the cries reign.

Missing you
to the sound of Sara Bareilles
streaming from the speakers of my car
that you sat in two days ago.

Feeling you
in the wind that plays with my hair,
aching for your touch
rather than wishing to be alone.

For the first time I miss you.
Not the aching I-need-you that I've felt before,
just the I-can-hear-you-on-the-wind,
the absence of your presence enunciated

By the trace of your airy fingertips in my hair
and the melody of your voice on the horizon
calling to me in the breeze,
singing to me in this song.

Your wispy presence brings me peace.
Your howling voice gives me rest,
and you're far right now,
but I can hear you in this car. In this song.
In the wind.
Waiting for me,
Just as you've always done.