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Mateuš Conrad Feb 2017
and i'm watching this couple, this: bromance...
  and i'm wondering when the time
comes that the other tells
the former: you can't talk
physics wearing a cowboy hat,
wasn't the 20th century the time
they lost habitual need to cover their heads?
monks shaving, the kippah...
indians and the Martian act of scalping,
my donning a beard and fiddling
with it like payots / sidelocks...
can this... cowboy talk seriously to me
about what is and what isn't a stance
on pragmatism?
      let's just say, that being attired
with so many scientific facts, moon lading
and all that, i'd be most perfectly sound
in stating such facts, such attire,
without looking, rather ridiculous...
   it's nice that someone can go to the moon,
and in having this susbjecitivty enclosed in them,
and how that won't translate into something
i might share... how i will never experience
someone else's subjectivity, and how that is
the sole basis for having objective opinions...
but you have to admit that donning a cowboy
hat is more ridiculous than putting on a sock
or a shoe...
                       and then talking
looking like that genius gremlin...
    men age, they enforce being boring,
they're too nostalgic, they love to re- re-
  a care for st. pete... hey! pedro! what do women do?
they're just become weird...
   like that wasn't the case to begin with...
love is... whether expressed by a pensioner
or a teen... a bit... mmm... whatever.
          it just gives me the idea of being
a host of gnats when people have to dress themselves
with these "serious" facts... and then they later
talk donning cowboy hats and boots...
  who's the serious monkey to be given
a radio show? who the serious bobo?
          even i know, given the phonos,
that dżin is an orthographic transgression...
        dzin would suffice...
yes, you've been to the moon, that's nice...
this is where you deviate from telling other
people to keep it to themselves...
              i'd prefer to hear more about the brothers
Grimm sound asleep, than hear of american astronauts...
but yeah, thanks for the invite,
      so few people care or want to be astronauts,
the emeritus americans and the emeritus russias
ego-tripping is so, so, so so boring...
       and i'm sorta in the custard of it taking place...
ethnicity and abstract identities of succumbing to
nationhood... cut it open... dżin... it's also called
the fake graphemes of sh and sz and dz ch and cz...
those are graphemes...
            there's a reason you don't **** around
invoking too much distinction in the realm of grapheme...
they really could have just said: dzin....
or jinn... or aladin drinking gin.
    sure, they call them aesthetic bits and bobs,
when in fact they are nor aesthetic in a + way,
they're chiral, hardly natural,
gin             jinn              joke                              egg...
   gaug                                    chase,
      glee jeer... game, jam, gammon,
     jammy... gaming... the near proximity!
they're so close!
           - i sniff... (snout noises)... an existence of a graphame...
     if one was to listen to humans talking,
one could clearly see they are bound to cheat...
they have too many symbols for the sounds they make...
and for the deviations in making sounds
they ******* chiral twins of the same sound...
and then sometimes deviate from it...
ensuring that Latin graphemes, those linguistic siamese
rule the river of diacritical mark,
suffocating them, until the river becomes an
artificial lake...
            when diacritical marks was given to
the "deuteronomy", (e) missed in the original...
sometimes spelling mistakes can reveal much more
than the words themselves...
          the 2nd e... for the te-,
t-ah, tao...
                 i can feel winter ending,
i can feel the loss of limbo, fatigue,
               or what comes as spring, namely insomnia,
increased productivity,
but such that diacritical marks were the heavenly
based descents to mark distinct syllables,
  like hailed original use of pucntuation marks,
but more within every word, than among words
in sentences...
   i could just as well call for a genocide of linguists...
i just don't see why they need to
complicate the matters with some wacky
anti-copernican alphabet
akin to writing hope, (consciousness),
[hohp] (american, spaghetti, nasal
akin to echo: oompf! ergo subconscious:
insinuation, panicky, puppets and the empire),
/həʊp/ (british, origin, ergo unconscious) -
why do we need this linguistic alphabet?
you can reach a perfect argument
using the same language, with one
that has adopted the use of diacritical marks
akin to punctuation marks...
and have the only avaliable canvas that
english is... there really should be a russian
counterpart of me dealing with how the greeks
are so paranoid in over-using diacritical marks,
like me, but speaking russian and looking at greek
and nodding, insinuating the word
on a broken record: aha, aha, aha.
it would be nice to talk about people,
but then i graduated from the optometric school
of having to look at migrating electrons in
organic chemistry... i think i'm relaxed these days...
so outside the failed translation gimmick
of chemistry, mainly german, mainly
hyphen orientated CH3-CH2-OH (alcohol, numbers in
subscript) - ****... looking at that "fingerprint",
why is my vision of the world so pink?
you try to teach the anglo-saxons that they're saxons
again, and not orientated around building an empire,
imagine teaching them the proper way to be
saxon, that, some words, like german,
desire, complexpunctuationstandards.
there you go, a real life example, let's see you cut that
word open and extract a heart,
  and a lecture on having a heart,
    let's wait for Frankenstein's monster to groan
into the vacuum, and the no actual vacuum,
but merely the night.
- yes, a hyphen at a beginning of a sentence plateau
almost means a stance to take to paragraph;
even though it shouldn't exist, as a p.s.,
***** into existence by, nothing more than a bias
to endorse whims, cravats, Monet,
and tantrum fits of little girls that dreamed
of being princesses... but instead became ******;
yes, those working parts of you
                           that are quiet, edible.
to write, and see, rather than write, and hear;
that sentence will not actually require
the existential ambiguity of the zoo,
of the enclosure of "     "...
                    i look at existentialists as i might look
at zoologists... prison guards...
      pontius pilates.
Mateuš Conrad Dec 2015
you know what two indicators of psychiatric diagnostic bases are?  whether or not you can keep eye-contact or chew your nails... frankly i  like the taste or keratin, it's like concentrated burnt skin, and that  eye-contact bit? i'm not here to ****** anyone, not keeping eye-contact  doesn't make me disengage from dialogue, it simply enhances it, after  all, i'm talking to your body, i don't have to peer into your soul.*

the hippocratic oath died with modern psychiatry,
it simply died, limp and almost lethargic
and riddled with leprosy (it’s peeling off me now, bit by bit),
the hippocratic oath died there and then,
the schism of the church from the state
enforced the secularisation of medicine
and medicine gave birth to its ******* offspring
known as psychiatry / logic of the non-existence
of the soul, better known as the missing
part of psychology...
the local g.p. analysis shows that i'm clearly
not biting my nails or have inefficient eye-contact
putting me on an autistic spectrum
with a feministic interpretation of aristotle,
but frankly i too could be a feminine candy
pusher for platonism in the **** sense of the word,
trying to convert a hetrosexual tyrant to keep
a few less digits of **** under my sleeve:
mythology - or the logic behind:
in a kingdom far far away... a long long time ago,
there's a logic to myth, meaning the timescale is
unimportant, but important with a debriefing
signalled by two words: it happened; but it's not
relatable these days.
it's a good thing english asylums closed their gates
at the beginning of the 20th century or mid-way,
english society subsequently changed into an asylum,
no fewer madmen among the mentally ill and those
in politics... the ratio is so equilibrate you wouldn't
even bet on a horse that ran a mile with the odds being
in its favour... me? *******? i'm fuming,
you want me to shoot blanks at whimsical prejudices
of a cancer patient because you were doing crosswords
looking at your genitelia and said: i'm a woman!
well, moist **** to you too... i'll make sure
the next pole that travels to england will get his money's
worth... watch me type like a chopin dynamo...
crescendo multo gratis!
that's the thing concerning the little red ribbon
wrapped around a box present in existentialism
it evolved from: phenomenology... it ignored kant...
it ignored the application of pluralism to kant's
concept of the thye noumenon...
subsequently it ignored rasputin (a.k.a. the superman)
on par with the great illiterate statues of history:
socrates, jesus, mohammad...
khadijah wrote the first of the surahs i bet...
she the litterate ***** must have known
he would decrease the volume of expression,
ending with a short surah like the heretical infestation
of malachi with the old testament.
*****! *****! give me *****! i want a snooker table too!
to the next of kin: don't come to england...
they're prone to the disease known as anglo-saxon / norman
lunacy... please don't come... or if you're coming
make it seasonal... and make it scarce -
bandit irish idiots just made a breakthough, quote un quote:
we multiply! no wonder the theory of relativity couples
people with confusion... newtonian logistics is missing,
the vector system is missing, cause and effect
is missing in relation to climate change - well **** happens,
our historical realism is not different from our
concensus... we all agreed... thanks to einstein there's
no cause & effect, because the compound space-time
vortex equates the two... we can sleep soundly tonight...
we've been saved by the geneva convention of albert camus'
absurdity... phenomena are universals because
of the attached number avaliable... noumenology
is scarce due to third arms and legs... a handful
is twelve disciples... in between the number of fingers
and toes... a handfull is between 10 and 20... that's a handful...
so if particulars deal with noumena... things unknown
or previously unknown or subsequently known because
of their david bowie oddity... then phenomena are concenred
with universal rhythms... i.e.... it can happen to an ant,
it can happen to a sparrow... it can happen to a human being...
it's the ideal economy of ideas just popping up whenever
you thing the singularity of god or the verb pronoun i is missing:
the noun pronoun, the thing that is freely ignoring things
due to their names and narrating geological abstractions?
yeah... that's still there.
Kaitlyn Johnson Mar 2010
you were my everything
and i guess you're still something
but not everything, atleast in its entirety
now he;s my everything
and she is yours, yet you cannot except
the fact that you'll never be my-
everything-ever again
almost like a leaf needs a tree, but im
no longer dependent on it, (im actually flying)
you lie in bed each night wishing to go back
while im longing to push forward
and i do, force myself to seperate
from you in that sense
plus every other sense avaliable.
EmperorOfMine Jun 2021
My spirit hovers over the water, faithful and liberated.
Deep, my soul that presence with the deep, awaiting the voice of creation.

Alas, I can see, and now there are things to organize, sorting this instrument here, and that instrument there, just like an *****, sorted to its fitting role, now the orchestra can play the tune of life.

The tune of life allows the waters to separate, land and water, dust and body, and many layers to protect this tune throughout.

Experience, this is the method that the tune is, and awake is the golem of this music.

Blessed is the creation of duality, from nothing to something, complex and simple all the same...

Attuning to the sharpness of nature, it adapts.




Then there was curiosity.

Cometh like a storm, with an eye for knowledge, the embodiment of betrayal to the flow of nature.

Against the current, and onward, this sound consumed from the information, fruitful...but at what price...?

And now, like the pillars of liquid, the song drops, and the instruments scream.

"We will crumble by the pressure of impact. We made an enemy of nature."

But Nature knows no such thing. Protecting the song she created among her brother, no suffering is permanent by outside forces.

And with this mercy, begs the forgiveness of the Human.

"We only want what is natural. We don't want to go against our purpose"

And yet they, like siblings, cannot come to an agreement on what it is...to be human.

Peace?
Joy?
Destruction?
Creation?
Fortification?
Pleasur­e?

And onward they question...clinging to curiosity and past.

Ego crafted by patterns and curiosity...the awareness of object impermanency. It's impermanency.

And then intuition, always existent, but not always acknowledged. The awareness of the current.

Cure, My, Vessel, Value... (Curiosity) To reach outward to amplify the value of my vessel, the human ponders beyond the present, slipping out into time and space. What, when, where, why, who, how, the craving for a cure, this craving has led them to believe they do not already exist without the necessity of a cure until they look for one...

Surrounded, by God, My, condition... (Intuition) To notice the word of God, one can actually feel it vibrate from within, but alas, it is only our will that we receive and act on this word. A condition that is to be our guide, we often neglect in favor of curiosity with ego.

Ego is the awareness of the experiences, and a protector against present peace, where the ego cannot reside. Stripping the human of peace, ego calls upon curiosity and patterns of the past to make the past a present.

The human will call upon intuition to fly, for the past is a weight, and once surrounded, will ask for the future, but the Intuition needs not to speak on the future, for it is not the present.

Ego will make out an entire future, using the patterns of the past, to trap the human in a neverending past. Wings of weight.

The ego wants to preserve its presence, but cannot do so in the present, without the past...

Humans have been played with by Ego for very long, all because Ego is pretending to play sides with Humanity, but is actually a condition of Stockholm syndrome, an illness of masochism of the human in relation to their abuser.

Ego wants to please the past by providing a silghty better suit for the past, but the past prevents peaceful production because prior peace resides in problems provided by the past, a place we have ascended from.

The deeper you sink, the heavier the pressure.
The higher you float, the lesser the stressor.

TO be human is to desire the knowledge that is avaliable, as we are to eventually know everything, but to know everything, we must first learn everythings responsibilities...


to be human is to accept the human duality, as it acts as a pair for completion. Two and three, a powerful connection,
feminine
masculine
Mind - Ration/Logic
Heart - Love/Life
Soul - Faith/Freedom


The human is the embodiment of nature, but we are still merely seeds...

now we are coming to the breakthrough, and may these roots grow us into beautiful creations, as we were always meant to be.
When I sit and think.. ????

I think of how God created US
God created Parents and others that are called Our Siblings.
God created Ears, Eyes, Noses and even Fingers and Toes.
How Fortune are some of US to have been BORN with them?

''God not only created One He created Two of each things''

He also decide to supply Us with water and other sources.
As I often Think??? Why do We destroy what has been here for so Many Centuries and its Purpose is to be able to use it???

How often do you think of others who might had lived as you and I do; and now are homeless???

How about thinking if they were once's wealthy and now poor???The struggles of trying to keep it altogether??? Or the little hope they had that was taking from them???

I often think of them and how they manage without...
It sadden me to see an Elderly women in a public bathroom washing her belongings. As I try not to share;  I shook my head and reach into my pocket to give her money. She bless me so many times it brought tears to my eyes!!
I often think of her... And I wonder what was her LIFE like.; some are out there with no HOPE; little FAITH or no desire to return to what was once's upon a time...

Some of them not having a place to call HOME as WE do...
while others go unnotice because they do not have No identity of there own; and some who just don't care to reconciliate anything of their past...

As I often think if I were your Parent or Sibling and HOMELESS would you be afraid to take the shirt of your back and Clothe ME? Would you pass Judgement of my Misfortune??? Or would you buy me something to eat or spare me some change to help ME??? Don't just pass by me and pretend that I do not exist because I do...  Remember I'am HUMAN just like You''!!!

God made good people like those who are reading this poem to give a lending ear; soar with your eyes and be a giver, at times It might just be a prayer that you may offer them, be a good servant and give them a bit of information of any avaliable shelter etc...  or maybe something to keep them warm . ''YOU DON-NOT KNOW THEIR STORIES''.  Let God use YOU and do a good deed in Someone Else LIFE;  do for the unknown and watch the BLESSING come back to YOU....

Ashi
Mateuš Conrad Apr 2022
i woke up with a fever... obviously i was drinking heavily last night... i was thinking about Caroline Aherne... from the Royle Family... that sit-com that's unlike any soap-opera and the instigator for the current channel 4 google... goggle-box... trash... i'm ******* feverish... i need to sweat some of this alcohol out... i have glue-eyes... things look fuzzy... or, rather... glued together too much... but i woke up and just remembered those Somali beauties on my last shift... how nervous they looked... licking their lips... i was just thinking: ****, ****... ****... like most Muslim didn't think  having a blast in Cologne... in Rotherham... i'm pretty open to foreign cuisine... i'll eat anything that doesn't move... like i'll **** anything that does... ****... did i message Khedra last night? i must have... like my current fetish for ginger haired women... freckles no freckles... whatever... i'm still "coy" when it comes to ol' raven Caucasian hair... well... Turk or Mongol? they're one and the same... but i woke up with a dream... a 2nd Islamic implosion... a second schism... spearheaded by the Turks... like the first one was spearheaded by the proud Persians because they were like: no ******* camel-jockey... no sand-****** is going to dictate to us... i swear i borrowed those slang terms from a Sri Lankan... honest to god... or allah: in Maltese... but i woke up... remembered that a ******* was inquiring about me... babe... i'm just not longing... i've had a ginger spell put over me... give me a few days... i'll exercise like mad... drink more white wine... let me just get ***** a little... i don't want to come to you with a limp: whimp of a whittle 'ichard... right... now i know what this fever was about... western culture... a load of *******... the Islamic attire for women... the niqab... the suppossed oppression of women... OR... excatly... OR... the salvaging of the male libido... seriously... why would i want to desire what's left plainly in the open... readily avaliable... why would i want to put up with so much *******: tease?! cucks-galore... i switch off... put on a pair of sunglasses: the night's too bright... i see the logic now... just now... oh no no... i'm not akin to the western narrative... at best i'm a subverter... i just can't follow the narrative that: men's fault... for not getting a hard-on... pop some pills because... that's what women did back in the day of being liberated by dropping those anti-contraceptive pills... no... no ******* MEA CULPA... no! i'm always just ******* dandy with prostitutes... and... randomly... a Thai girl... a black girl... after enough suspense and alcohol for both of us... white girls have become Victorian-times Irish nuns for some of us... i literally don't think they're Madonnas... ****** up girls: sure... but holy? you have to be kidding me... i'm actually kidding myself... but the niqb actually makes sense... personally? in my Islam... those niqabs would be white... if there is to be a second schism in Islam... they would be white... or linen prone... a material that would allow some breathing room... but it truly is a salvaging of the male libido... i mean: except for perverts and all the other outliers... men can quickly switch off... from any ****** activity once they reach a certain age... concentrate on something abstract... wed themselves to Sophia... while watching idiots go through their motions of hard-ons and juiced up oysters worth of ****.

vultu mutabilis albus et ater...
        of changeful countenance, both white and black...

that quote alone...
        from the book: answer to Job... by C. G. Jung...
i can make peace with Herr Jung...
       i'm very familiar with his... good nature in writing...

i'm feeling good... best day ever...
made my father some meatball spaghetti for lunch
for work tomorrow: i'm ******* working
and all... stewarding... loitering...
it's not working... not when you're herding people...
it would be work if i had 20 cows under
my supervision...
            the "work" is a joke...
**** easy... just put on a facade like you're about
to count how many teeth they have
with your knuckles... inside or outside
their mouth? erm?!            both...
just pretend... it's a "job" of pretending...

but at the same time: play the game of FWENDS...
that's important...
   also... tend to your fellow coworkers...
   make sure they get the breaks...
   be firm with others...

West Ham vs. Frankfurt... love it!
         going to brush up on some of my Deutsche!
grr... obviously spoken with an English grammar
logic...
          ar du haben ein güt zeit?
              alles (ist) güt?
    
in China, himmel ist runden und die erde quadrat...

yeah... that should work...
English grammar is pretty much German grammar...
we'll: sehen... we'll spiegel...
bounce back and forwards...
             after all... post-apocalyptic Sächsisch
that broke their own rules when invading these isles
and mingled with the Celtic and Welsh tribes...
well... maybe not so much the Welsh...
               finally! some other German breeds...
i'm starting to think... Saxons... Pomeranians...
Swabs... oh... Frankfurt... that's Hessen territory...
oi oi! we're going to get a bunch of Hess!
        i look at the Germans and immediately think:
dog-breeders!
            rot! Russ! rot! Russ! viler! viler! raf! rough!
r'ah!

        its truly amazing watching these two old rivalries
take centre stage...
it's never ever pretty when it comes to Polacks vs.
the Russians... let alone Ukrainians...
but it's like: when it come to the Ing-leash
those proud post-Saxony Saxons: i'm pretty *******
sure some Saxons were like: we're going to stay...
oh... wait... why didn't that migrating horde
of fighter come back?

ah ah... i see... i've seen it already...
when i was young... a blonde was the archetype of
beauty for me...
as i've aged... red heads... Celtic red heads...
i'm going absolutely ballistic over them...
freckles... no freckles... whatever...
skin... complexion that could compete with milk...
i'm driven nuts by these red heads...
******* cuckoo... ****** Tunes: wolf whistling
in my head...
i don't care... the lighter tinge... the darker crossing
into auburn territory ginger...
*****... **** me: she could even grow a beard
and i'd still doggy-****-her...

             that's why those invading Saxons didn't
come back... because of the ginger ***** and *** galore...
same... i would have stayed...
no questions...

   so a few sentences in Deutsche... sorted...
   i'll practice tomorrow whenever i come across those
few that come up to me and ask in that
goot... achtung achtung accenting:
  mein goot Bwi-dish ascent... ya?
    oh... ya ya... das ist goot...

                                   h'eh h'eh...

but it's so different... i have absolutely no animosity
for the Germans...
they became mesmerized by an Austrian...
and... come to think of it... an Austrian is not
a German and a German is not Swiss...
i think it's that simple...
           it's fun... over 'ere in Europe...
it's so unlike H'america... we're juggling ethnicity
rather than race... race is so boring:
so H'american...

                        but i close my eyes... i've had enough
to drink... like clockwork...
my body just jumps into a drum-beat...
the best i could find... it's insatiable...
i can't resist grooving to it...
using both of my hands to tap out the Morse Code
of the rhythm...

   the Brian Jonestown Massacre's: Panic in Babylon

i seriously had a terrible day in the kitchen...
i was working with premade beef tartar meat...
what's this?! i ask my mother...
it's mush! it's mince!
             i couldn't eat a steak tartar with this!
i like my steak tartar finely diced...
yeah yeah: capers, gherkins the whole shebang...
raw egg yolk blah blah... i don't do raw mince...
that's baby food... i need a bite...
so she replies... make some meat *****...
fair enough...
             but i make the mistake of adding some bacon
into the mixture... and a pinch of salt...
oh **** me... that's salty... i thought it said:
unsmoked bacon...

****... not even the breadcrumbs and the yolk helped...
what to do... what to do...
or the paprika... what to do, what to do...
i need to salvage the meat...

right... make enough tomato sauce...
but don't season it with salt...
pepper... Italian herbs... Kashmiri chilly...
    o.k., o.k., no salt... that should balance out just right...

and there's me grooving to Panic in Babylon...
tapping away with the beat...
while at the same time... closing my eyes and thinking
i'm stirring a *** of freshly brought sinners
in hell... don't ask me why...
if i were to rewrite Dante's inferno...
a completely different affair...
i wouldn't take Virgil with me...
and we wouldn't even descend into hell...
i'd take him around London... but i wouldn't be taking
Virgil... i'd be taking Horace...

              klar als tag!

where's that quote i was looking for... it has to be in here
somewhere...
i knew i had it somewhere...
no... not under Lucifer... under Aquarius...
ah... there it is!

          Luciferi vires accendit Aquarius acres:
Aquarius sets aflame Lucifer's harsh forces...

and as i typed this... QWERTY...
Christopher Latham Sholes... in on par in my books
with the Sejong the Great...
the story goes... Marquis de Sade's uncle...
Abbé de Sade of Ebreuil... had a library of books
you would read with only one hand...
ergo? you'd *******...
personally? yeah... the ol' Marquis gave me a hard-on
in the past...
the QWERTY model though...
it's beside a concept of a piano...
after all... there are so many combinations
of lettering that erode your memory:
but you rarely have to look down to look
at what your hands are doing...
depending on the size of the keyboard...
you just peep down and reposition your hands...
but that's why you have two SHIFT buttons...
why wouldn't you?
esp. if you're trying to type out a quote verbatim...
you're holding a book in one hand...
you're crow-pecking at each digit of a letter
with your index... because you're transcribing...
you do need... you do need two shift buttons
for the upper-case... you can't just switch-on
and switch-off CAPS LOCK... pointless...

now i have an urge of biting into some raw garlic...
or... onion... no... not pickled...
i need some adhesive that's also a repellent...
i have too many spiders in my bedroom...
i'm afraid that i'll eat some in my sleep...

i'm still vehemently adamant when saying:
i'd shoot Freud in the back of the head...
like an Andrei Chikatilo.... why?
i just feel like it... terrible ideas...
or, rather... too simple... it's not even the horrors
of cubism of modernism...
do i have to race bait the ******?!
all of the Hebrews that entertained Europe
aas their home for over 2000 years lost
their Mediterranean sun-tan anyways...

oh right... that's how it works?! they get settled back...
the Yids... the Hebs... and what do they flood
Europe with? their enemies...
the invading Islam falafel...
       cool cool... good to know...
       i'm on the receiving end... well... i'm not...
the western "powers" might have capitulated...
try that same **** in Russia...
as much as i want to love the Germans...
at least the Russians are sensible...

     because what?! "on the right side of history"
sort of happened with Iraq, Afghanistan, Libya...
Syria? did it?!

that quote... about Aquarius and Lucifer...
plenty of delusion people where i'm at...
why should i be any worse...
i'm only joking when pretending to be the devil...

ich bin teil aus das macht, welche immer wille
     böse und immer arbeiten güt...

  i am part of that power which eternally wills evil
and eternally works good...

well... we're... "we're" sort of waiting to pounce...
seeing how Western Europe has been left to
the power hungry cucks of society...
           i'm siding with the Russians:
because as a ******,,, Ukrainians?!
undermined the stability of the Polish-Lithuanian
Commonwealth... they ******* sided
with the remnants of the Mongols that didn't
******* back to Mongolia but occupied
Crimea... ******* lemon *******
squint copper-skins... what?!

                i love depitcing our differences...
is... is that... a "problem"?
you know what proverb...

  jeśli wejdziesz między wrony, musisz krakać jak i one:
when you come among the crows...
you must croak like them...
Rome... blah blah...
  there's this animosity building up in
me that's becoming unhealthy...
  i don't have the stomach...
   but in the near future... i see...
someone...
                     someone who will erase
this Islamic curse from the face of Europe...
it's simple Newtonian logic...
  it's simple... i don't have the voice...
i don't have the ambition(s)...
                 i prefer to drink... draw circles...
scribble my little laments...
shout from the heights of the Bastille like.... de Sade...
i drink: i don't dance...
   there's plenty... we're readied...
       i want Saudi Arabia to burn...
             i want a second Islamic schism...
this one? spearheaded by the the Turks...
   i want Jesus t be known as...
the Lord of Mosquitos...
               that's enough... this ****** is going
to fall back into line with hell's democracy:
or else!
           he has had too many years of ownership
of time!
hell's rebelling! ich besagt: hölle ist rebellieren!
genug! das ist es!

he's no son of god... he's one of us...
         he's the Lord of Mosquitos...
                why, though... this waiting game...
keeping it a secret?!
well... no wonder... god is a... ahem...
            marry ****** with Elizabeth Bathory...
you get?! no no... not a bloodbath...
                      because?! nature is benevolent...
oh sure it is... it's so nice to men that will never get
a chance to hear a moan...

what prompted me?
a message from my "girlfriend"... a Turkish beauty...
raven hair... i wish it was ginger...
whatever...

seriously... that's how this world works?
i'm getting a message from my *******: "girlfriend",
hey, how are you... telling her...
i'm good... your lips are like ******* mangos...
mush mush... see you soon...
while the women i work with are single mums
in their 30s... thinking they're hot stuff and i'm
like... i'd be sooner seen ******* a camel... toe...
whatever... how oblivious to you have to be
to the whole situation?!
i'm calling prostitutes my girlfriends because:
well... at least they like to ****...
and these supposed "free" women...
"free" as in... entangled with raising children...
why, would, i, even, *******, bother?!
they're not mine...
            where does it say that i need to "man up"
to raise someone else's *****-sprank?!
if there's an authentic war... not waged
as proxy by H'americans... sign me up...
but... raising some else's chiuldren?! *******...
not via dating... via being a surrogate father...
but even then... nein...
                 niet...                         nie....       no!

nature has a cruel habit of being... raving revealing
in what's considered to be fair...
didn't the anglophone world popularise Darwinism?!
so... what's the ******* problem?!

i just texted my Turkish "girlfriend" ******* back...
we're good... i'm getting paid... tomorrow?!
obviously i'm gagging for it...
but i'll need to... exercise... get my mojo back...
harsh cardiovascular... white wine... etc.
i want to perform... i just can't imagine ***
on a regular basis... in a relationship...
regressing into... having to watch t.v. together...
tell you what... my mother made this discovery
today...
the t.v. show: the Royle Ramily... ****... Family...
and... Googlebox...
  it's like a precursor... although...
the former is funnier...
       no... because it's not a soap opera...
        it's not predictably blind to people's expectations...
now that she text me i'm sort of getting a hard-on...
now that i text her back i'm...
oh... right... she wants me...
           it's better when it's that ******* obvious...
i.e. between men and women...
you want her... she wants you...
        she had about a dozen bad *****...
now she's texting you: come back... Lassie! come home!
Caroline Aherne... i always... always...
what a lass... i can't stress it enough:
give me Tuesday... i could become lazy with her
in front of a... an aquarium... i hate the t.v.:
how about somewhere in Scotland...
with a fireplace?!
                        i'm happy with this Turkish *******
messaging me: where are you?! are you o.k.?!
why not... any woman is enough treasure...
i'm not going to tell a ******* from a nurse
apart... i can't: i don't want to...
      even though there are supposedly more
women in the world than men...
  n'ah... that's never going to be an armchair
in my mind... that "armchair" is going to remain...
"being" an armchair outside of my mind...
"somewhere" in a living room: as a ******* armchair...
not... some... abstract... safety-net...
in the... "back of my head" quiz...
      i don't have a ****** fetish... a niqab: skunk
oomph...
            as Khedra said...
just because you don't have unprotected ***...
sorry... sorry... just because you have protected ***...
doesn't mean that you will not catch STDs...
oh man... that's harsh...
***** *******... they probably don't wash their
hands after they've eaten or taken a ****...
  well... that's me done... i can have unprotected ***
with a ******* and no worry about catching...
Syphilis...
                    tested, proven, done... if i get a wring-worm
puking up a mushroom steering wheel for my
monkey brain to facilitate: i'll let you know...
but even at work...
  around women... this one gives me the most dirtiest
looks... why? she hasn't figured me out...
she tries the intimidation tactics... hugs me...
keeps clinging to me mishearing her say DARLING
while i thought she said DADDY...
****** insinuations... blah blah... blah... blah...
i'm not a gangster... i'm not part of some
criminal underworld...
             but brothels aren't exactly hotels...

prostitutes aren't exactly your next door neighbour
sort of
gals... are they?
so if one messages you: with  a longing?
winged Hussar... she has a mouth...
a mouth that could melt....
a  **** of butter...                    tiresome irk.
Mateuš Conrad Apr 2019
.i haven't been here in a long time, a long long time, perhaps as far back as seven years... but i just started to remember: to hunger... this is my mecca, this is my vatican... and there's no such place as such, no Nashville, no Deep South for me, since the "problem" of da- (there) is not really a problem... i have lodged this place in my head and heart and bowels so far down that it cannot exist outside of me in the physical world... i guess i'm about to revise a spell in this place for a few days or so... mind you: no one is licking anyone's feet or washing them for that matter, to pay undue compliments, to **** up: i hate rap... blah blah this, blah blah that... there's nothing cool about, too much urban squalor... and what did ever spawn if not a bleached-hair mouth-off? beside not having the hands: i'd do what eric clapton would have done... gravitate to the blues... and nothing sooths like some whiskey gingi and the blues... cliché or no cliché... but all the hippies have their music and their drugs, the stoners have their stoner rock, the rastas have their reggae... i have my blues and whiskey... my heart can finally rest for a day or two... in something the whiskey will translate for the elevated purpose of: liberation... it took me seven years to come by these parts... and at the most glorious time... tomorrow i'll become a gardener, maw the grass, cut up a dying grapevine: two years running i made over 10 bottles of the finest of wines... poor ****** died... no one knows how... no more wine making for me come october... with regards to day? it's so relaxing to water the plants... i can't so i won't name them... then playing the shepherd to a busy-body choir boy of a maine ****... shooting water at him to run on home... sultry english july evening... what else if not some blues and some whiskey?

you can see just as much
"becoming" cross-eyed:
i.e.,
straining your eyes to peer
into the vision...
a microcosm of suns,
engulfed
by a layer of ice...
as those those who took
the fungus parasite
route of allowing their
minds to become substitute,
a reaping,
of the minds that sow,
i, scythe in tow,
came to collect
the brimstone harvest...
but... take it from me...
you drink as much as i have...
entertaining cross-eyed
vision?
is just as much
as ingesting psychadelic drugs...
esp. when drinking for
a prolonged period of time,
extending into the night...
as much as i know,
i'm pretty sure
Odin cannot perform
the trans-psychedelic
aspect of vision...
           no Odin can
perform the cross-eyed statement,
no one-eyed creature can...
but i can...
         it's almost like jumping
into the lake
      and opening your eyes
to the world beneath
the sheen of the still mirror...
i've just transcended
the whole psychadelic drugs
tripping base
for group inclusion
politics...
i sat, perched on a windowsill
like a crow,
and...
cross-eyed...
i saw all of this in
an avaliable microcosm,
readied,
for the plunder
by a ready mind...
        perhaps no thought
is an axe...
but it is, for now.
Mateuš Conrad Jun 2018
drinking fatigue...

            and something
                                     else in between...

               a skull...

             with two tongues
lodged in its
respective sockets...

and an eye...
            in its mouth that
replaces the tongue...

hardly a respectable
conjuring,
     not exactly a pink elephant
in the room moment...

evidently not even
a dream...

              two tongues for a pair
of eyes,
                  and a single eye
                                  for a tongue...
i am fatigued with
incorporating german into
this island folk, narrative...
       my minding
an unavailable explanation
for the many definite
article distinctions...

                                   right about this
time joining the circus would
appear the only avaliable idea
worth upkeeping sanity...
         since...
               what i was prescribed?
enlisting in
                                          a university?

can't think of anything useful,
or creative mind you,
over than a regurgitation
         of a march of hammers...
without a base-purpose
          of "inquisitive" nails
                         on the ready...

church-and-state...
                the state...
        "church", i.e. technocracy,
                        and "state"...
a faceless individual:
attacked by a stripping-effect
to allow the bare minimum:
of grammar coherency...
  then the attack on grammar!
hmm...

      i'm not genius...
  but...
                     well... whatever
it is...
                            if it's ******,
  it ought to be ******...
                        and if it's good?
        well... then i'm not reimagining
having written this onto toilet
paper...

                    given that:
drinking is the only form of metabolism
that can give you insight
into metabolic fatigue...

                            can't exactly say
i eat much: much of that's puffy is due
to the drinking...
            which is...
                 what's that word...
   marie antoinette's cake confession
for the people...
                   (lard-brain)
                                ah!
                ­                            cake!      

baltic sushi for me:
               creamy, raw, herrings...      
or raw herrings in piquant white vinegar
and oil and accompanied by
onions and garlic, and a bay leaf,
perhaps the english herb...
   or raw beef...
            made to a tartare standard...
roughly chopped...
      and a raw: egg yolk...    

just saying               prishtine
        through clenched teeth?
         encourages salivation for such things...

what was i saying?

ah...
                               drinking fatigue...
it's not that i've had "enough",
or that i've had "too little"...
            but drinking can do that to you...
been there done that...

            the lesser of "me" are at least
entertaining,
    dancing a very public tango
with their shadows...
                    hazy-eyed, quasi-blind,
          but my god...

                 obviously the ones that
learned how to write end up being
successful...
               but the ones like me:
who took the kenneth rexroth approach
and did it, with a self-         impetus?

skull: two tongues in its sockets that replace
the eyes,
               and one eye:
          guarded by 32 tailors...

ah! good old form of english!
                                            letters, like teeth!

yogh (ȝ)

                     ethel (œ)

              ash (æ)

                               thorn (þ)

                                           wynn (ƿ)

  and eth (ð)...

      sounds good spuds to me...
even biblical...

    so that's how mother england
               lost its: ****...
           gender "neutrality" and nouns...

                                yogh was a son, yes?
             ethel was a daughter, yes?
ash was transgender so we don't
know how to apply ashley to either
man or woman, yes?
  thorn: yes, and cain and thor: so male.
wynn: the p'ooh - so a cuddly toy?
       eth: definitely a woman.

i'm drunk: you're sober -
                let's not get into an argument
about why english grammar
doesn't extract a masculinity / femininity
perception
                             of words
         akin to the frowning 'enchmen...
                                               k'wee?
Mateuš Conrad Jun 2018
i hate summer...
too many "ligjht" hours,
bothersome of ensuring
intricacies;
those late removed
                  slicing scoops...
and itches...
            my least
"avaliable"
  of "luxure",  
                    "activities"...
can fathom anything
more calibrated
to the exhaust of seething...
with quasi-nibbling
                    jargon....
death come counterpart...
of the trodden
  in the much
                    sodden!
believe me...
not all read the entire
"read" alexader dumas
to finally begin quest:
reading people like books...
"you" leave
     infracture of the benign;
who's?!
          namely your own....
        solicit with Jordan?!
i die lawless...
    i make the law: you,
       your children, your kin!
whince comes
the fear for the love of god...
unless you stake to cleave
to a higher
jurisprudence
of man usurper!
               then i am but
a humble muslim in...
                             peer among
the pristine judgement of
sacrificing: prayer.

— The End —